Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Forums

I have an idea for a film that I would like to make.

 

It's set here in Jacksonville. It's about a giant shark that swims up and down the St. John's River eating manatees and capsizing just about every watercraft on the river. The people of Jacksonville are terrified when he devours two local radio phone-in fishing show hosts whole, boat and all on-air, and turn to the river keeper. 

 

He studies the giant shark's patterns of movement up and down the banks of the river and discovers that his behavior pattern is strictly limited to Sundays when the Jaguars are playing home games, and pinpoints his favorite spot is to lurk the waters outside the stadium where he likes to watch the game on the giant video scoreboard.

 

Amazingly, if the Jaguars win the shark returns up the St. John's and back out to the Atlantic without havoc, but if the Jaguars lose, he still swims out of town, but destroys stuff by tail-whipping it to pieces.

 

The river keeper's plan to solve the problem requires lots of lances and harpoons thrown from several bridges as the giant shark swims towards Orange Park.

 

Full of lances and harpoons, the giant shark accidentally swims into the Mayport Navy Basin where several guided missile cruisers on alert drop several depth charges which culminate is a dynamic finale where the giant shark explodes into shreds.

 

Sound's great doesn't it?

Ummm...sure. :blink:

Quote:Ummm...sure. :blink:

The shark could be a female.

 

You could call the movie....Fin Fatale and use large chucks of imitation crab meat when practical. 

A+ for imagination and creativity!

I'd see it for the title alone

 

I have not figured out how marine life can survive in the St Johns. It is disgusting.

 

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Well Done!!! I applaud you, sir.

Quote:I have an idea for a film that I would like to make.

 

It's set here in Jacksonville. It's about a giant shark that swims up and down the St. John's River eating manatees and capsizing just about every watercraft on the river. The people of Jacksonville are terrified when he devours two local radio phone-in fishing show hosts whole, boat and all on-air, and turn to the river keeper. 

 

He studies the giant shark's patterns of movement up and down the banks of the river and discovers that his behavior pattern is strictly limited to Sundays when the Jaguars are playing home games, and pinpoints his favorite spot is to lurk the waters outside the stadium where he likes to watch the game on the giant video scoreboard.

 

Amazingly, if the Jaguars win the shark returns up the St. John's and back out to the Atlantic without havoc, but if the Jaguars lose, he still swims out of town, but destroys stuff by tail-whipping it to pieces.

 

The river keeper's plan to solve the problem requires lots of lances and harpoons thrown from several bridges as the giant shark swims towards Orange Park.

 

Full of lances and harpoons, the giant shark accidentally swims into the Mayport Navy Basin where several guided missile cruisers on alert drop several depth charges which culminate is a dynamic finale where the giant shark explodes into shreds.

 

Sound's great doesn't it?

 

 

I'm guessing your other ideas were to have a case on LA Law where the someone's cat dies and the person who was sitting for it refuses to pay for a new cat because this was an old dying cat.....or perhaps to not have Cheers filmed in the bar.... 

Quote:I'm guessing your other ideas were to have a case on LA Law where the someone's cat dies and the person who was sitting for it refuses to pay for a new cat because this was an old dying cat.....or perhaps to not have Cheers filmed in the bar.... 

 

The other ideas are not much...

 

I had thought about pitching a 16th Century sit-com about a St. Augustine-based Minorcan slave who marries a feisty Spanish wench and starts a family entitled "There Goes The Colony" , featuring the characters of stone-cutter, Tallador de Pedra, and a Spanish wench, Chica Sucia, who marry.

 

The script is dotted with continuous gags such as external shots of the hut they live in being blown over in tropical storms then put back together again as the wind and rain whip, a roof that leaks unpredictably, and a front door that de Pedra never seems to get right. There's possible cuddly toy side marketing as the mission priest's pet raccoon, Popi, appears at an open window periodically to talk the Pedra's through hard times. This requires a puppeteer and a voice over.

 

There is also Quixotic, Don Gato, a retired Spanish conquistador, who always bring foreshadowing news and debilitating wit. 

 

There are other ideas, but I won't disclose them.

Quote:The other ideas are not much...


I had thought about pitching a 16th Century sit-com about a St. Augustine-based Minorcan slave who marries a feisty Spanish wench and starts a family entitled "There Goes The Colony" , featuring the characters of stone-cutter, Tallador de Pedra, and a Spanish wench, Chica Sucia, who marry.


The script is dotted with continuous gags such as external shots of the hut they live in being blown over in tropical storms then put back together again as the wind and rain whip, a roof that leaks unpredictably, and a front door that de Pedra never seems to get right. There's possible cuddly toy side marketing as the mission priest's pet raccoon, Popi, appears at an open window periodically to talk the Pedra's through hard times. This requires a puppeteer and a voice over.


There is also Quixotic, Don Gato, a retired Spanish conquistador, who always bring foreshadowing news and debilitating wit.


There are other ideas, but I won't disclose them.

That's like pure excellence.. Any idea on who you have for actors playing these characters?

Someone has too much time on their hands. 

Quote:Someone has too much time on their hands.

Or some really good drugs... :whistling:

Quote:That's like pure excellence.. Any idea on who you have for actors playing these characters?

the characters of stone-cutter, Tallador de Pedra, and a Spanish wench, Chica Sucia, 

 

Tim Tebow as the Minorcan stone-cutter. Marisa Tomei as Chica Sucia. Don Gato would be Héctor Elizondo. The voice of Popi might be Michael Palin.

 

Tebow can pass as a stone-cutter easy. Tomei was terrific in Perez Family. Elizondo has unsung comedy talent. If you ever clicked on the cow while playing the old Monty Python Holy Grail game, you'd know why I want Michael Palin.

 

 

 

This isn't real. You just asked for casting ideas.

possibly a side story of the relationship between the somewhat beloved Commandante of Castillo de San Marco and Tallador who is always fixing the stonework but the fort is still crumbling.

 

El Capitan Pollo de Meyer as the Commandant who lives under the spectre of the Governor General of Cuba

Don Esteban del Spurrier, who is still loved and revered by the LaFlorida.

 

 

HeadSlap

Quote:possibly a side story of the relationship between the somewhat beloved Commandante of Castillo de San Marco and Tallador who is always fixing the stonework but the fort is still crumbling.

 

El Capitan Pollo de Meyer as the Commandant who lives under the spectre of the Governor General of Cuba

Don Esteban del Spurrier, who is still loved and revered by the LaFlorida.

 

 

HeadSlap


 

 

It will never happen.

does Jake Matthews play in this movie?