(07-26-2017, 10:54 AM)SeldomRite Wrote: [ -> ]Dakota, your story touches on part of the reason I wanted Bernie Sanders as president. There should never be a question of someone being able to afford critical medical care in the wealthiest nation on Earth.
I'd suggest taking jagwired's advice and looking into Canadian meds as their nation took the step of controlling predatory greed from the pharmaceutical industry complex years ago and they're much better off for it.
That's the issue. The legal drug trade is killing prices across the board in the medical industry. The problem is these special interest groups buy off these politicians for a ton of money. So where do you start? The crooked politicians or the pharmaceutical industry and insurance side of the industry?
Term limits for sure! Low ones!
(07-27-2017, 01:58 AM)Dakota Wrote: [ -> ]I have spoken to my parents about this. I have 4 parents, as my original parents divorced and re-married nearly 30 years ago. All 4 have done extremely well financially in life and want to help me out with this. That's all fine and good, but I don't want to be the financial burden that costs them tens of thousands every year. I know that they can easily afford that, but I don't want to be the burden that drains their nest eggs. My father says that there is no discussion about it and they will assume the duty of paying for my care. I just don't know if I can accept that. Call it pride. Call it whatever. My disease gives me a 6% or so chance of surviving 5 years. I am coming up on year 3. I don't want to see them waste their money on a lost cause. That being said, I don't think I am going to accept their help. They won't be happy about my decision, but it's ultimately that, my decision. I have no fear of death. It's much worse for the ones left behind, and that's the hardest part for me to deal with. But, sometimes you just have to look at the picture and say it's time to stop carrying on this fight. It has essentially ruined my life, my marriage, and most of my friendships. I am just existing, and that's no way to live.
It is your decision. I would just say, think of all the people who don't want you to go. Also, every extra day you survive is one more chance for something good to happen. You never know. I keep hearing about how close we are coming to a major breakthrough in finding a cure. So keep fighting.
And if you do decide to go on to the next world, God bless you. Maybe someday we will all meet up on the other side.
You going to be Okay brother***
Wishing you the best, Paul. I often think of the game we went to together and how you tortured that Eagles fan for 3 hours. Pure comedy and a fond memory.
(07-27-2017, 01:58 AM)Dakota Wrote: [ -> ]I have spoken to my parents about this. I have 4 parents, as my original parents divorced and re-married nearly 30 years ago. All 4 have done extremely well financially in life and want to help me out with this. That's all fine and good, but I don't want to be the financial burden that costs them tens of thousands every year. I know that they can easily afford that, but I don't want to be the burden that drains their nest eggs. My father says that there is no discussion about it and they will assume the duty of paying for my care. I just don't know if I can accept that. Call it pride. Call it whatever. My disease gives me a 6% or so chance of surviving 5 years. I am coming up on year 3. I don't want to see them waste their money on a lost cause. That being said, I don't think I am going to accept their help. They won't be happy about my decision, but it's ultimately that, my decision. I have no fear of death. It's much worse for the ones left behind, and that's the hardest part for me to deal with. But, sometimes you just have to look at the picture and say it's time to stop carrying on this fight. It has essentially ruined my life, my marriage, and most of my friendships. I am just existing, and that's no way to live.
Pride is a funny thing. I understand your reluctance to accept their help, but you're a dad, so you understand where they're coming from. From their perspective, it's not a lost cause if they're able to keep you going, even if it's just for a day, week, month, or year longer.
A friend of mine had a similar diagnosis a few years back. It was such a certainty that he wasn't going to win his battle that he started writing letters to his children for every milestone in their lives (graduations, marriages, grandchildren, etc) so that they could have a piece of him there with them as they achieved each one. He continued to fight the disease, but ended up in a place very similar to yours where he didn't see any hope and was prepared to let the disease run its course. He continued the brutal treatments, and went through extensive surgery to fight it, but the prognosis was grim. Long story short, at his lowest point, he found the courage to continue the fight, and despite long odds, he actually beat the predictions, and today lives cancer free. As his 3 kids have hit the milestones he had written letters for, he burns the letters as a way of telling cancer to screw off.
None of us are walking in your shoes, but know that you have a community of almost complete strangers for the most part who continue to pray for you and send you positive energy to help you carry on the fight.
My heart goes out to you Dakota.
(07-27-2017, 07:18 AM)TravC59 Wrote: [ -> ] (07-26-2017, 10:54 AM)SeldomRite Wrote: [ -> ]Dakota, your story touches on part of the reason I wanted Bernie Sanders as president. There should never be a question of someone being able to afford critical medical care in the wealthiest nation on Earth.
I'd suggest taking jagwired's advice and looking into Canadian meds as their nation took the step of controlling predatory greed from the pharmaceutical industry complex years ago and they're much better off for it.
That's the issue. The legal drug trade is killing prices across the board in the medical industry. The problem is these special interest groups buy off these politicians for a ton of money. So where do you start? The crooked politicians or the pharmaceutical industry and insurance side of the industry?
Term limits for sure! Low ones!
I don't want to get into politics here because it's not the place, but term limits would do nothing to solve any of the nation's current problems at all. If you'd like to talk about it feel free to private message me
As for Dakota, living with a little less pride is better than dying. If your parents can help you I hope you'll take it.
Youve inspired me to post my first post. Ive lurked around the boards for probably 8 years now, and this is the post that got me. Your parents want to help. They aren't taking the money with them when they go, and no parent wants to lose a child without knowing everything was done to prevent it..... Trust me. I know this first hand. Hope you find it in yourself to let them help, as it not only increases your chances to live on happy and healthy one day, but it also gives them some comfort. Any day spent with you in their lives is better than any day spent without you. Fight the fight, and never give up.
Sent from my LG-TP260 using Tapatalk
I won't lie, hard to keep dry eyes reading that post.
But this isn't about me, this is about you. I understand what you mean regarding your parents, but I have to side with them on this. Accept the help, keep on fighting.
We are all with you.
I'll probably sound like a complete jackass with this but here it goes..
After reading your first few posts, you've got no idea how close I was to PM'ing you so I can send money to help you in your situation. Then reading that you've got financial support from both parents yet are choosing not to do so, changes my perspective. Here we have a horrible disease people want to defeat and pray daily to get past and you are seemily choosing to die. You're a grown [BLEEP] man and I can't make you change your mind. But with 2 sets of parents that you apparently keep close to your heart, children, as another poster pointed out, and possibly grandchildren, seems pretty selfish to not take the monies offered by the parents. Suck up the pride.. you're now not living just for yourself. You've got 2 sets of parents (that will be devastated seeing their kid go before them) a wife and children and possibly grandchildren losing you. People that love you, depend on you, look forward to seeing you, etc. If you can be a long term Jag fan, then you should be used to the pain, especially with what you're dealing with. So, suck up the pride and take the money to pay for you're medical expenses. Repay them with your love. Because, they're offering it with the same. To me, it takes a weak man not to accept what is being offered to you. Keep fighting. Be the old fart with the stories to tell about how you kicked cancer in the [BLEEP].
With that, love ya man. Best of luck.
Ps. Look forward to you beating this and posting about how glad you were that you did.
Dakota, please update us and tell us you accepted their help. Come on man, we are all rooting for you.
(07-30-2017, 07:22 PM)Jags Wrote: [ -> ]I'll probably sound like a complete jackass with this but here it goes..
After reading your first few posts, you've got no idea how close I was to PM'ing you so I can send money to help you in your situation. Then reading that you've got financial support from both parents yet are choosing not to do so, changes my perspective. Here we have a horrible disease people want to defeat and pray daily to get past and you are seemily choosing to die. You're a grown [BLEEP] man and I can't make you change your mind. But with 2 sets of parents that you apparently keep close to your heart, children, as another poster pointed out, and possibly grandchildren, seems pretty selfish to not take the monies offered by the parents. Suck up the pride.. you're now not living just for yourself. You've got 2 sets of parents (that will be devastated seeing their kid go before them) a wife and children and possibly grandchildren losing you. People that love you, depend on you, look forward to seeing you, etc. If you can be a long term Jag fan, then you should be used to the pain, especially with what you're dealing with. So, suck up the pride and take the money to pay for you're medical expenses. Repay them with your love. Because, they're offering it with the same. To me, it takes a weak man not to accept what is being offered to you. Keep fighting. Be the old fart with the stories to tell about how you kicked cancer in the [BLEEP].
With that, love ya man. Best of luck.
Ps. Look forward to you beating this and posting about how glad you were that you did.
I've thinking about Dakota often in the last few days. You mentioned something that's related to what I'm going to suggest.
Paul, you have been a part of an extended family with so many of us for a long time. I certainly appreciate the support you have given me over the years. I think so many of us want to help you, in one or more ways.
My suggestion that I think might help alleviate your concern about your family spending sizable sums of money on your treatments is to put together an Online fund to help raise money for part of the expenses you will need for your treatments. I've given money to others with illnesses in these types of funds. These type of funds are also used to help people that get in trouble with the law when they use free speech but their respective gov't thinks otherwise. This happened recently in Canada with a Canadian Patriot that I think highly of.
I certainly would like to contribute to a fund that would help you with your treatments. Even though you mentioned that you are only given a 6 % chance of survival, I believe from a faith standpoint that if people reach out to you to try to help, it increases the chances of you beating the odds. If the treatments don't bring you the results we are all hoping for, at least I think it would be uplifting to you and your family that you received this type of support in addition to other forms of support. Through difficult times, that could make a huge difference regardless of the final outcome.
By all means, please feel comfortable discussing this with your family. I recommend that you show your family this entire thread. That by itself I think will help each of you.
Whatever you decide, you certainly have my support.
David
Just reading this. Best of luck in your fight. I sure hope you accept the help from your family. They love you and want the best for you, as does the message board.
Be well.