Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Forums

After three unsettling losses leaving them at 4-7, Jaguars owner Shad Khan demotes Doug Marrone to Stadium Concessions manager, fires the remaining staff, and inserts Tom Coughlin as head coach, offensive and defensive coordinator.  Minshew is renamed the starter. Keenan McCardell, Jimmy Smith, Tony Boselli, Clyde Simmons, Natron Means, Pete Mitchell, Donovin Darius, Kevin Hardy, Hardy Nickerson, Mike Peterson, Fred Taylor, Leon Searcy, Rasheen Mathis  and Brian Demarco are all coaxed out of retirement. They are whisked away by bus on a 20-minute trip to Saint Augustine, where they bathe in and drink the water of the legendary Fountain of Youth.  They are instantly restored to their prime playing condition, and they return to Jacksonville to begin the quest of winning out the remainder of the schedule.  They beat the Bucs and the Chargers handily. They struggle against the Raiders in the first half, but come alive in the second when Minshew throws two long touchdown passes to Jimmy, leading them to victory. They beat the Falcons easily on the road, and then face the Colts at home for the last wild-card spot.  Jags are leading 19 - 17 when Jacoby Brissett hits T.Y. Hilton for a long gain deep into Jaguars territory.  Adam Vinatieri lines up a 22 yard field goal for the win. But he pulls it to the left. Jaguars win, and make the playoffs as the wild card.  Jaguars win the wild card and divisional games to reach the AFC Championship, where they once again face the New England Patriots.  Jaguars are leading 20 - 17 with 30 seconds remaining, and have the ball at thier own 10, 2nd down. Patriots have all three timeouts. Suddenly a disheveled man pushing a sandwich cart comes racing in from the side of the field. It is none other than Doug Marrone, who is upset that his sandwich Marroney Bologney is not selling well In the stadium concession stands. Having had his gourmet sandwich rejected as a menu entry for the Christmas Jay Fund dinner, he blames the lethargic sales on Coughlin and takes a quick bead on him, running him over with the sandwich cart. Coughlin enters concussion protocol and is unable to continue coaching the game.  Since the entire coaching staff was previously fired, Khan reluctantly allows Marrone to assume the coaching duties for the remaining 30 seconds of the game.  Marrone calls 3 straight kneel downs, giving the Patriots the ball at the Jaguars 2 with 6 seconds to go. Brady sneaks in as the clock expires, giving the Patriots the 24-20 victory. Patriots go on to win the Super Bowl, and hire Doug Marrone the following season as Stadium Concessions consultant.  The game would be referred to from that day forward as CartGate.

I see I’m not the only one who has already resorted to drinking before noon to cope. Your drink of choice?

(11-25-2019, 12:40 PM)RedRooster28 Wrote: [ -> ]I see I’m not the only one who has already resorted to drinking before noon to cope.  Your drink of choice?

Lol.  I have to wait till after work but i'm there with you on the off days.  

(11-25-2019, 12:42 PM)JagsFansince1995 Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-25-2019, 12:40 PM)RedRooster28 Wrote: [ -> ]I see I’m not the only one who has already resorted to drinking before noon to cope.  Your drink of choice?

Lol.  I have to wait till after work but i'm there with you on the off days.  

Mondays are my day off, though I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference either way for this one, haha.

/\ A visual representation of how our team has been playing the last 3 weeks /\

(11-25-2019, 12:46 PM)RedRooster28 Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-25-2019, 12:42 PM)JagsFansince1995 Wrote: [ -> ]Lol.  I have to wait till after work but i'm there with you on the off days.  

Mondays are my day off, though I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference either way for this one, haha.

lol.  Drink up and wash the pain away.

(11-25-2019, 12:40 PM)RedRooster28 Wrote: [ -> ]I see I’m not the only one who has already resorted to drinking before noon to cope.  Your drink of choice?

Shrooms.

(11-25-2019, 01:15 PM)JagJohn Wrote: [ -> ]

(11-25-2019, 12:40 PM)RedRooster28 Wrote: [ -> ]I see I’m not the only one who has already resorted to drinking before noon to cope.  Your drink of choice?

Shrooms.

Bold. Was a fan in my younger days. Apparently our LBs are fans.

I think I saw a stat that only 1.7% of teams that are 4-7 make the playoffs.

TLDR

If this involves anything besides an R&M alternate reality scenario, it ain't gonna happen.

(11-25-2019, 03:18 PM)Browntrouser Wrote: [ -> ]I think I saw a stat that only 1.7% of teams that are 4-7 make the playoffs.

SO YOU'RE SAYING THERE'S A CHANCE?

in madden very possbile, IRL not gonna happen doug has detroyed the jags team just like he did bills. they all have the loseing attudiude now. thanks doug.

There’s 0% chance.

The Bills are a guaranteed wild card team, they will do better than 9-7 (the best we can do is 9-7)

Chances are the Chiefs, Raiders, or Steelers will get the other one with a 10-6 record or better.

Even if we somehow get to 9-7, our division record will only be 2-4. That’s not good enough to break any ties.

Therefore, we are 100% eliminated from the playoffs as of right now.

Now I know how the season will play out, I'll go ahead and go on vacation.

Stop it, just stop it...

Formula for still making the play-off's?

1. Be competent
2. Pray the rest of the division goes to [BLEEP] and win out

Hey there’s always the John McKay route:

“Three or four plane crashes and we’re in the playoffs.”