(12-21-2022, 07:18 PM)anonymous2112 Wrote: [ -> ]A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"
also works with Sarah Jessica Parker, but that's more mom joke than dad's
I was about to toss my ‘maters at ya until you added the SJP part. But I’d still hit it.
From my facewhat feed this morning:
How do farmers party?
They turnip the beets.
Went to a zoo the other day.
They just had one animal. A dog.
It was a shitzu.
(12-22-2022, 11:12 AM)NYC4jags Wrote: [ -> ]Went to a zoo the other day.
They just had one animal. A dog.
It was a shitzu.
Negative points....repeat...
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
(12-22-2022, 12:24 PM)RicoTx Wrote: [ -> ] (12-22-2022, 11:12 AM)NYC4jags Wrote: [ -> ]Went to a zoo the other day.
They just had one animal. A dog.
It was a shitzu.
Negative points....repeat...
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
Why couldn't the jalapeño do archery?
He didn't habanero.
An emergency call: 'Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!'
Operator: 'Where?'
Caller: 'No, a regular one!'
Inflation is really getting out of hand..
But that's just my 5 cents.
(12-25-2022, 05:40 PM)WingerDinger Wrote: [ -> ]Inflation is really getting out of hand..
But that's just my 5 cents.
I heard one similar. Went alongs the lines like…
…air used to be free at the gas station. Now they charge .50 due to inflation.
I’m sure I screwed that one up. You get the point
I went to a concert it only cost me $0.45. It was Fifty Cent featuring Nickelback.
I just found out that sign language can be pretty handy.
This thread isn’t fair. It just happens to be that my SIL sent me two dad joke books for Christmas. She usually sends the stupidest [BLEEP]. Guess the joke is on her, I actually like this one. <— I’m 100% serious about that
Do robots have brothers?
Nope, just transisters.
I laughed way too hard at that one.
What do you call an angry carrot?
A steamed vegetable.
An American, Frenchman, Mexican and a German were walking through a busy marketplace. They happen upon a street performer And stop to watch behind a busy crowd. The performer realizes they can’t see and stands on a box then asks “can you see me now?”
They reply
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Si”
“Ja”
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
(01-03-2023, 11:32 AM)RicoTx Wrote: [ -> ]Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
When they are one-liners, makes it even better. I like that one a lot. I read it in my book. Then again, all these jokes have been in it.
What does a deaf gynecologist do?
Read lips.
(01-03-2023, 06:04 PM)Butters Wrote: [ -> ]What does a deaf gynecologist do?
Read lips.
Haha. Your dad was…different. Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.
(01-03-2023, 06:59 PM)Jags Wrote: [ -> ] (01-03-2023, 06:04 PM)Butters Wrote: [ -> ]What does a deaf gynecologist do?
Read lips.
Haha. Your dad was…different. Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.
Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke.
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??
Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:
I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.
It is my new year's resolution.
(01-04-2023, 11:14 AM)NYC4jags Wrote: [ -> ] (01-03-2023, 06:59 PM)Jags Wrote: [ -> ]Haha. Your dad was…different. Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.
Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke.
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??
Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:
I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.
It is my new year's resolution.
Tbf my dad actually did tell me that joke a few months ago; my old man has always been a bit of a perv lol.I do enjoy teaching and I am quite sure my students have heard way worse from their peers lol.
(01-04-2023, 12:21 PM)Butters Wrote: [ -> ] (01-04-2023, 11:14 AM)NYC4jags Wrote: [ -> ]Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke.
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??
Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:
I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.
It is my new year's resolution.
Tbf my dad actually did tell me that joke a few months ago; my old man has always been a bit of a perv lol.I do enjoy teaching and I am quite sure my students have heard way worse from their peers lol.
I do not disagree - only kidding about the teacher thing also
"dad joke" is nonetheless its own genre despite the variety of dad humor in the world
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet this morning. It was clogged.