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Along the same lines, I feel like a lot of people fall into a trap of doing what they think they are supposed to do in life, rather than doing what they actually want to do.

Quote:Along the same lines, I feel like a lot of people fall into a trap of doing what they think they are supposed to do in life, rather than doing what they actually want to do.

 

Most people are so busy with work, kids, chores, fixing things around the house and doing all the other things that HAVE to get done, they end up with very little time to actually do what they really want to do.

Life always seems to get in the way of the best made plans.  I know people who had a plan mapped out for their lives, and they made it their mission to stick to the path to make that happen.  They're absolutely miserable.  I also know people who didn't have a plan for what they were doing after lunch, yet they fell into something they loved doing, and they've been successful as a result.

Quote:Life always seems to get in the way of the best made plans.  I know people who had a plan mapped out for their lives, and they made it their mission to stick to the path to make that happen.  They're absolutely miserable.  I also know people who didn't have a plan for what they were doing after lunch, yet they fell into something they loved doing, and they've been successful as a result.

I kind of fall in the middle of that I have a couple paths I could follow down at any moment and pretty much make it up as I go.  I adapt to changing situations and circumstances very well though.

Quote:I kind of fall in the middle of that I have a couple paths I could follow down at any moment and pretty much make it up as I go.  I adapt to changing situations and circumstances very well though.

I think that's probably the area most people operate within.

Quote:Most people are so busy with work, kids, chores, fixing things around the house and doing all the other things that HAVE to get done, they end up with very little time to actually do what they really want to do.

I'm not talking about leisure activities, more like life choices.

Quote:I can answer both of these correctly, but the question is, will my answers be what you're expecting?

 

Possibly.

I have a couple of childhood friends who are college educated and bright and now nearing the end of their working career who have nothing. Each of them never planned for the future or saved for retirement. They had so much potential but lived for the day. Now they will work until they die.

 

Attention 20-somethings: Someday you will be 50. Plan on it.

 

Regards....................the Chiefjag

I was always very suspicious of those in college who seemed to know what they wanted to do with their life. It never works out the way you think it will. Never.

 

I go by the motto taken from a song by Jackson Browne: "Leave me where I am I am not losing, if I am choosing not to plan my life."

Quote:I have a couple of childhood friends who are college educated and bright and now nearing the end of their working career who have nothing. Each of them never planned for the future or saved for retirement. They had so much potential but lived for the day. Now they will work until they die.

 

Attention 20-somethings: Someday you will be 50. Plan on it.

 

Regards....................the Chiefjag

 

Very good advice.  It's amazing how time seems to "speed up" after your 20's and 30's.  I was fortunate enough to start actually saving while in my 30's.  It's a very good feeling being debt free (almost) and having not only a nest egg for retirement, but also cash available in the bank should I need it.

Quote:Very good advice.  It's amazing how time seems to "speed up" after your 20's and 30's.  I was fortunate enough to start actually saving while in my 30's.  It's a very good feeling being debt free (almost) and having not only a nest egg for retirement, but also cash available in the bank should I need it.

i just hit the 30 barrier but lucky enough the army paid for my college and getting into real estate at seemingly the right time has sorted my credit out now if i could just get a decent deal on a house to fix up a bit i'll be on my way to actually saving up my nest.

I think a lot of it has to do with the mindset of the home in which you were raised.  My mom and dad divorced and mom remarried when I was 6. He was a hard working man but also an alcoholic. When you're a sensitive natured kid the last thing you need is a home environment where you have to walk on eggshells so as not to upset the balance of things. I also have anxiety and depression (never talked about) which is never helpful in that type of home. I was bullied at school but never told the parents because I knew it would somehow be my fault. 

 

Us kids were never told to be good at anything. We were never encouraged to do anything. We were expected to get good grades, but college was never discussed. We weren't allowed extracurricular activities and almost no contact with kids our age that didn't go to our church. And our church was legalistic to the nth degree. I thought they were all bat poop crazy and left when I was 17 to live with my dad who was always in the picture but as a weekend warrior dad and he never wanted to be a dad so we were always friends.  

 

I was so unprepared when I was 18 and graduated high school. I had zero clue as to how the world worked or how people really were. I made so many bad choices because I no frame of reference and no guidance. The only thing I ever knew for sure is I wanted to serve my country in the Army and enlisted when I was 19. Other than that, every choice in my life until I turned 38 was based solely on survival. And it was a disaster to the point I tried to take my life 8 years ago this month and was hospitalized. Twice. I think if I'd had a different personality, a driven one, I would have had a different life. But I didn't. The only thing I was driven at was surviving. I made terrible choices and have suffered the consequences. I would never wish the first 38 years of my life on anyone, but I wouldn't change any of it either. It's made me be able to see things from multiple perspectives and feel compassion even when I don't agree with something or someone. I try to understand where people are coming from even if our POV don't align. 

 

So, I believe the upbringing of a child bears heavily on how they do in life. Things may still not work out as planned and people are always going to make dumb choices in their youth, but if you raise a kid in a positive environment with structure and love and guidance and realistic expectations, I believe they will ultimately succeed in life. Of course, sometimes detours just happen that throws everything out the window.

 

Thankfully time passes and people grow up. My stepdad quit drinking some time in the 90's. I have a great relationship with him and my mom and my dad. I am happily married and have now been in the same place 4 years. That's not been the case since 1989. I was somewhere different every 12 months or so for 22 years. Life is good but it's still life and everything you've done never leaves you completely. And some of those consequences last a lifetime. But I really can't complain at all. I am blessed.

Why?