Talking to my oldest daughter, sometimes. Succinct is not in her vocabulary. And if I need a point clarified, we go back to page one, paragraph one.

I have a friend who will tell me a story in great detail, around 15 minutes in she will say "Long story short...".

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Rain!   I know we needed it.  But enough is enough already

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So I’m at Home despot today... returning something that didn’t go with my new patio. Usually HD employees and patrons don’t fee the need to wear a mask. But today the vast majority of both are wearing their anti-people masks. I’m in the return lane that is now 6 times longer due to the social distancing practices. No worries. I math. It’s not that long. Then right behind me come this chick (not exactly ugly) wearing scrubs and a Baptist South ID and no mask tries to get up my butt. Really? Shouldn’t you have a mask? The rest of the freaking store staying away. And YOU want to to put your vajayjay up on my ahay? She’s practically spooning me. If she wasn’t hot I’d be more upset. But still. Back the [BLEEP] off!

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So I’m at Home despot today...   returning something that didn’t go with my new patio.  Usually HD employees and patrons don’t fee the need to wear a mask.  But today the vast majority of both are wearing their anti-people masks.  I’m in the return lane that is now 6 times longer due to the social distancing practices.  No worries.  I math.  It’s not that long. Then right behind me come this chick (not exactly ugly) wearing scrubs and a Baptist South ID and no mask tries to get up my butt.  Really?  Shouldn’t you have a mask?  The rest of the freaking store staying away.  And YOU want to to put your vajayjay up on my ahay?   She’s practically spooning me.  If she wasn’t hot I’d be more upset.  But still.  Back the [BLEEP] off!

You're HAWT. That's what she's saying. Lol

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So I’m at Home despot today...   returning something that didn’t go with my new patio.  Usually HD employees and patrons don’t fee the need to wear a mask.  But today the vast majority of both are wearing their anti-people masks.  I’m in the return lane that is now 6 times longer due to the social distancing practices.  No worries.  I math.  It’s not that long. Then right behind me come this chick (not exactly ugly) wearing scrubs and a Baptist South ID and no mask tries to get up my butt.  Really?  Shouldn’t you have a mask?  The rest of the freaking store staying away.  And YOU want to to put your vajayjay up on my ahay?   She’s practically spooning me.  If she wasn’t hot I’d be more upset.  But still.  Back the [BLEEP] off!

You're HAWT. That's what she's saying. Lol

Trust me, I know, right!? I get THAT.  But I have my ring on.  Take a Hint!  Can’t be bumpin’ it with the hussies.  (Sigh). But anyways, you can say that again.  By that I mean, can you say I am HAWT again? Haha

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You're HAWT. That's what she's saying. Lol

Trust me, I know, right!? I get THAT.  But I have my ring on.  Take a Hint!  Can’t be bumpin’ it with the hussies.  (Sigh). But anyways, you can say that again.  By that I mean, can you say I am HAWT again? Haha

H. A. W. T. 

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Trust me, I know, right!? I get THAT.  But I have my ring on.  Take a Hint!  Can’t be bumpin’ it with the hussies.  (Sigh). But anyways, you can say that again.  By that I mean, can you say I am HAWT again? Haha

H. A. W. T. 

Ugh, I’m tired of being treated like a piece of meat.  I wish women can see me for who I really am.  See how stupid that sounds ladies? Anyway,  Please continue.

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H. A. W. T. 

Ugh, I’m tired of being treated like a piece of meat.  I wish women can see me for who I really am.  See how stupid that sounds ladies? Anyway,  Please continue.

 You're a funny guy. Thanks for the laugh.

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Ugh, I’m tired of being treated like a piece of meat.  I wish women can see me for who I really am.  See how stupid that sounds ladies? Anyway,  Please continue.

 You're a funny guy. Thanks for the laugh.

Ya, you betchya!

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

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It wasn't me......…...I avoid creating ball marks on the green by landing my approach shot in a bunker.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

What irritates me more is when people drag their damn feet on the green when wearing golf spikes.

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

True, true, true.  And a lot of the ball marks are within 8 feet of the hole, which tells me, these are not bad golfers creating these ball marks, which means they should not be that ignorant about the requirement to repair their ball marks.     

Every time I play golf, I repair about 5 ball marks on every green.  They are everywhere.

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It wasn't me......…...I avoid creating ball marks on the green by landing my approach shot in a bunker.

Me too. But still...

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

What irritates me more is when people drag their damn feet on the green when wearing golf spikes.

I've been guilty of that a couple of times. But I repaired it.

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

True, true, true.  And a lot of the ball marks are within 8 feet of the hole, which tells me, these are not bad golfers creating these ball marks, which means they should not be that ignorant about the requirement to repair their ball marks.     

Every time I play golf, I repair about 5 ball marks on every green.  They are everywhere.

I'll repair a few around me, but won't hunt for them. I have a snappy little switch blade type repair tool. It makes me feel cool whenever I click it open.

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

What irritates me more is when people drag their damn feet on the green when wearing golf spikes.

How do you feel about tire tracks?

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

I'm sure we've covered this before, but anything that requires my undivided and immediate attention before I've had at least half a cup of coffee is my most hated enemy.

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Fireworks.

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Your server suddenly disappearing when all you need is your check to leave.

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Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

It wasn't me......…...I avoid creating ball marks on the green by landing my approach shot in a bunker.

Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

What irritates me more is when people drag their damn feet on the green when wearing golf spikes.

Unrepaired ball marks on a golf green. It just absolutely irritates me. How hard is it to stick a tee into the ground a few times to repair a ball mark? Yet there they are, making an otherwise nice green look like a WWI battleground.

It's my assertion that anyone who doesn't repair a ball mark should get rapped in the shin with the blade of a sand wedge.

I stand for what is just and right!

True, true, true.  And a lot of the ball marks are within 8 feet of the hole, which tells me, these are not bad golfers creating these ball marks, which means they should not be that ignorant about the requirement to repair their ball marks.     

Every time I play golf, I repair about 5 ball marks on every green.  They are everywhere.

Talk about your First World Problems...

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If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley