How can you tell the sexual preference of a phone?

It has an apple on it?

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How can you tell the sexual preference of a phone?

It has an apple on it?

I used to think that too. 
Once you try it, you won’t go back.

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Once you try it, you won’t go back.

Okay fine, but go easy on me it's going to be my first time.

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How can you tell the sexual preference of a phone?

It has an apple on it?

Oh, puh-leeze. I used to have an Android, and the iPhone I have now is way better. 

Besides, you're kinda cute. 

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Once you try it, you won’t go back.

Okay fine, but go easy on me it's going to be my first time.

Uh huh....suuuure.. says the guy that’s probably already had the entire Apple lineup.  You’re being coy.  We know you’re more than just Apple-curious.  Allowed me to share a story I remember way too vividly.

It was the morning of October 22, 2018.  The Apple Pride parade started at the store front, wrapping and weaving it’s way along the unusually warm sidewalks at the Town Center.   Hundreds of  pro Apple supporters gathered anxiously awaiting the iPhoneX.  Across the street there was a small group of android users protesting.  You arrived in line late due to a wardrobe malfunction.  You were wearing only a cored apple and a yellow and brown beret fashioned out of stolen underwear hoping to solicit a gaze or two gazes.  However many gazes as you could get.  There was gazing everywhere.  The front of the crowd was gazing at the doors. The middle were gazing at their phones.  The rear all gazing at your softly sculpted almost naked body perspiring in the morning sun.  As the clock drew nearer to 8:00, the excitement and anticipation rose.  The store clerk spread open the doors and the crowd let out screams and cheers as they thrust themselves into the store for the anticipated realease.  All except for you.  You were left behind because you had to change your apple.  Mocked and ridiculed by the protestors, you swiftly pulled your apple EarPods out and release an “Excuse me!?” No one is sure who threw the first tweet. But in the end, two people where hurt from getting hit in the head with a cored apple.

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Staying on topic
Gaze, gays
Rays, raise and raze.  (Seriously, the last two mean almost the exact opposite!)

No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

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No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

It isn't though. Like, not even top 10 of hardest languages to learn.

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Staying on topic
Gaze, gays
Rays, raise and raze.  (Seriously, the last two mean almost the exact opposite!)

No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

There was text etched in stone on a marble memorial in Hickory NC that described a church that used to be on that site until it was "raised." It also had "an" where it meant "and." This was in 1980, so they may have fixed it since then.

And as I was typing this I noted that site, cite, and sight get misused.

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Staying on topic
Gaze, gays
Rays, raise and raze.  (Seriously, the last two mean almost the exact opposite!)

No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

The spelling is hard. The verb tenses are easy and there are no genders for inanimate objects (except ships but you can treat them as inanimate and no one except the captain will try to correct you). 

Sammy would know the gender of a phone if he spoke some other Indo-European language.

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"Why should I give information to you when all you want to do is find something wrong with it?"

I always pronounce 'mnemonic' as 'minnemonic' so I remember how it's spelled.

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I always pronounce 'mnemonic' as 'minnemonic' so I remember how it's spelled.

Lol, nice.

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Staying on topic
Gaze, gays
Rays, raise and raze.  (Seriously, the last two mean almost the exact opposite!)

No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

There was text etched in stone on a marble memorial in Hickory NC that described a church that used to be on that site until it was "raised." It also had "an" where it meant "and." This was in 1980, so they may have fixed it since then.

And as I was typing this I noted that site, cite, and sight get misused.

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Staying on topic
Gaze, gays
Rays, raise and raze.  (Seriously, the last two mean almost the exact opposite!)

No wonder  English is considered the hardest language.

The spelling is hard. The verb tenses are easy and there are no genders for inanimate objects (except ships but you can treat them as inanimate and no one except the captain will try to correct you). 

Sammy would know the gender of a phone if he spoke some other Indo-European language.

Every squid would beg to differ with on that but I know what you mean.

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I always pronounce 'mnemonic' as 'minnemonic' so I remember how it's spelled.

I do the same thing with wed-nes-day.

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Original Season Ticket Holder - Retired  1995 - 2020


At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
 

I do the same thing with wed-nes-day.

I'm not alone?  Awesome!!!

I do that same thing ... But, he was going for a funnier thingy word thingy.

You would think as hard as it is to spell, people would hate Wednesday more than Monday. I don't like Monday's ... more.

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I do the same thing with wed-nes-day.

I'm not alone?  Awesome!!!

I do that same thing ... But, he was going for a funnier thingy word thingy.

You would think as hard as it is to spell, people would hate Wednesday more than Monday. I don't like Monday's ... more.

I too am a wed-nes-day guy.

But what makes mikey’s funny/witty is he has a mnemonic for mnemonic.   Which makes me now want to do the same. Find  ‘M’ Nemo.   There we go.

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The word Quinoa sounds as bad as it tastes.

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

Courtesy of an ad on the bottom of this site, anytime I make a grammatical error, I’ll blame the keyboard.

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Saw this on a meme today:

People that confuse burro with burrow, don't know their [BLEEP] from a hole in the ground.

It made me laugh.

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Original Season Ticket Holder - Retired  1995 - 2020


At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
 

I had been studying German recently. Seems unnecessarily difficult. But English can definitely be weird too. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

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I'm condescending. That means I talk down to you.

Speaking of learning English, my not quite 4 yr old has seemed to mastered the English accent. ???? Super cute, but wth? Where did that come from?

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