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Worst Movie(s) You've Ever Seen

#41

(05-29-2022, 08:07 AM)flsprtsgod Wrote: Birth of a Nation.

hoo doggie, this may take the cake for anyone who's watched it.
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#42

going on topic, this is going to be a challenge for me. Partly because uh, things I did in college mean that remembering forgettable movies 10-15 years past are nearly impossible.

For backstory, I was a manager at our local Blockbuster for a few years. The stores had a policy that team members got 5 free rentals per week, with encouragement to rent the upcoming releases so that we could make informed recommendations. I never ever never bothered with mainstream movies like Twilight, Dark Knight, etc, because even if I told people they were tripe, they were still gonna take them home. More often that not, I'd grab the 1-copy releases our stores would get from the independent production houses, and most of these were horror flicks that stank out loud.

There were the occasional "recommend this to everyone" titles like Joshua, He Was a Quiet Man, Mr. Brooks, etc. But more often they were the "get ten friends who are also in your film class and a camcorder, and let's put our class project on DVD" that had zero post-production, horribad dialogue, or miserable effects work. Thankfully most every one of them are likely unpossible to track down at this stage and I've long since forgotten the titles.

I'm not counting bad movies that were watched because they were bad (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate) or even shock value theater (I've seen several Faces of Death releases, early John Waters flicks would apply too).

American Movie bored me to tears. Basically a movie about a guy begging for money to finish a movie he didn't have money to make. It's literally him getting told no or odd-jobbing his way to a few bucks, completely wasted time. Movies like Shrooms and the Ruins were CGI nightmares or just horribly acted. Movies like Semi-Pro and the Hammer that are billed as comedies, and you fail to laugh at all.

I could write paragraphs on political/lopsided "documentaries", but I don't want to start any rabbit trails that get any of us on the wrong side of mods' good favor.
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#43

(05-31-2022, 11:17 AM)Mikey Wrote: going on topic, this is going to be a challenge for me. Partly because uh, things I did in college mean that remembering forgettable movies 10-15 years past are nearly impossible.

For backstory, I was a manager at our local Blockbuster for a few years. The stores had a policy that team members got 5 free rentals per week, with encouragement to rent the upcoming releases so that we could make informed recommendations. I never ever never bothered with mainstream movies like Twilight, Dark Knight, etc, because even if I told people they were tripe, they were still gonna take them home. More often that not, I'd grab the 1-copy releases our stores would get from the independent production houses, and most of these were horror flicks that stank out loud.

There were the occasional "recommend this to everyone" titles like Joshua, He Was a Quiet Man, Mr. Brooks, etc. But more often they were the "get ten friends who are also in your film class and  a camcorder, and let's put our class project on DVD" that had zero post-production, horribad dialogue, or miserable effects work. Thankfully most every one of them are likely unpossible to track down at this stage and I've long since forgotten the titles.

I'm not counting bad movies that were watched because they were bad (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate) or even shock value theater (I've seen several Faces of Death releases, early John Waters flicks would apply too).

American Movie bored me to tears. Basically a movie about a guy begging for money to finish a movie he didn't have money to make. It's literally him getting told no or odd-jobbing his way to a few bucks, completely wasted time. Movies like Shrooms and the Ruins were CGI nightmares or just horribly acted. Movies like Semi-Pro and the Hammer that are billed as comedies, and you fail to laugh at all.

I could write paragraphs on political/lopsided "documentaries", but I don't want to start any rabbit trails that get any of us on the wrong side of mods' good favor.

Did you ever see Monsturd?
My fellow southpaw Mark Brunell will probably always be my favorite Jaguar.
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#44

(05-31-2022, 11:17 AM)Mikey Wrote: going on topic, this is going to be a challenge for me. Partly because uh, things I did in college mean that remembering forgettable movies 10-15 years past are nearly impossible.

For backstory, I was a manager at our local Blockbuster for a few years. The stores had a policy that team members got 5 free rentals per week, with encouragement to rent the upcoming releases so that we could make informed recommendations. I never ever never bothered with mainstream movies like Twilight, Dark Knight, etc, because even if I told people they were tripe, they were still gonna take them home. More often that not, I'd grab the 1-copy releases our stores would get from the independent production houses, and most of these were horror flicks that stank out loud.

There were the occasional "recommend this to everyone" titles like Joshua, He Was a Quiet Man, Mr. Brooks, etc. But more often they were the "get ten friends who are also in your film class and  a camcorder, and let's put our class project on DVD" that had zero post-production, horribad dialogue, or miserable effects work. Thankfully most every one of them are likely unpossible to track down at this stage and I've long since forgotten the titles.

I'm not counting bad movies that were watched because they were bad (Plan 9 from Outer Space, Manos: Hands of Fate) or even shock value theater (I've seen several Faces of Death releases, early John Waters flicks would apply too).

American Movie bored me to tears. Basically a movie about a guy begging for money to finish a movie he didn't have money to make. It's literally him getting told no or odd-jobbing his way to a few bucks, completely wasted time. Movies like Shrooms and the Ruins were CGI nightmares or just horribly acted. Movies like Semi-Pro and the Hammer that are billed as comedies, and you fail to laugh at all.

I could write paragraphs on political/lopsided "documentaries", but I don't want to start any rabbit trails that get any of us on the wrong side of mods' good favor.

Hey that was my first job out of highschool was a manager at the beach and university store for a few years until if figured out I hated retail
[Image: 5_RdfH.gif]
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#45

(05-31-2022, 11:48 AM)mikesez Wrote: Did you ever see Monsturd?

Can't say I did.
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#46

(05-31-2022, 12:24 PM)EricC85 Wrote: Hey that was my first job out of highschool was a manager at the beach and university store for a few years until if figured out I hated retail

Our store was in Lake City, but thanks to remoteness we were part of the Jax region. So, we had similar sales goals as the Jax stores in a rural(ish) area.

This was a second job evenings and weekends, so I gave zero farts about their pressure to sell consoles and subscription services. Our store manager could sell ice in Alaska, though.

I kinda hate that they died out, I cannot browse online or at a kiosk when I want to watch a movie.
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#47

(06-01-2022, 09:30 AM)Mikey Wrote:
(05-31-2022, 12:24 PM)EricC85 Wrote: Hey that was my first job out of highschool was a manager at the beach and university store for a few years until if figured out I hated retail

Our store was in Lake City, but thanks to remoteness we were part of the Jax region. So, we had similar sales goals as the Jax stores in a rural(ish) area.

This was a second job evenings and weekends, so I gave zero farts about their pressure to sell consoles and subscription services. Our store manager could sell ice in Alaska, though.

I kinda hate that they died out, I cannot browse online or at a kiosk when I want to watch a movie.

When was this? Because we might have crossed paths a few times depending on the timeframe.
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#48

(06-01-2022, 08:23 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote:
(06-01-2022, 09:30 AM)Mikey Wrote: Our store was in Lake City, but thanks to remoteness we were part of the Jax region. So, we had similar sales goals as the Jax stores in a rural(ish) area.

This was a second job evenings and weekends, so I gave zero farts about their pressure to sell consoles and subscription services. Our store manager could sell ice in Alaska, though.

I kinda hate that they died out, I cannot browse online or at a kiosk when I want to watch a movie.

When was this? Because we might have crossed paths a few times depending on the timeframe.

somewhere around 2006/2007 thru 2010.
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#49

(06-02-2022, 08:54 AM)Mikey Wrote:
(06-01-2022, 08:23 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote: When was this? Because we might have crossed paths a few times depending on the timeframe.

somewhere around 2006/2007 thru 2010.

After my time. I had no idea it was open into the mid 2000s. I wanted to work there when I was a teenager but my parents wouldn't let me. I wanted those five free movie rentals! Lol. 

Another ridiculous movie is Melancholia with Alex Skarsgard and Kirsten Dunst. Another one of those artsy fartsty movies. I don't mind them sometimes but if I go into a movie thinking it's one thing and it ends up artsy fartsy I'm not happy I spent wasted my money on it. I have to be in the mood for those movies.
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#50
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2022, 09:47 AM by The Real Marty. Edited 2 times in total.)

(06-02-2022, 02:10 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote:
(06-02-2022, 08:54 AM)Mikey Wrote: somewhere around 2006/2007 thru 2010.

After my time. I had no idea it was open into the mid 2000s. I wanted to work there when I was a teenager but my parents wouldn't let me. I wanted those five free movie rentals! Lol. 

Another ridiculous movie is Melancholia with Alex Skarsgard and Kirsten Dunst. Another one of those artsy fartsty movies. I don't mind them sometimes but if I go into a movie thinking it's one thing and it ends up artsy fartsy I'm not happy I spent wasted my money on it. I have to be in the mood for those movies.

Oh, I disagree.  I liked Melancholia.  I thought it was a good movie.  I wonder if they'll do a sequel.
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#51

(06-03-2022, 09:41 AM)The Real Marty Wrote:
(06-02-2022, 02:10 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote: After my time. I had no idea it was open into the mid 2000s. I wanted to work there when I was a teenager but my parents wouldn't let me. I wanted those five free movie rentals! Lol. 

Another ridiculous movie is Melancholia with Alex Skarsgard and Kirsten Dunst. Another one of those artsy fartsty movies. I don't mind them sometimes but if I go into a movie thinking it's one thing and it ends up artsy fartsy I'm not happy I spent wasted my money on it. I have to be in the mood for those movies.

Oh, I disagree.  I liked Melancholia.  I thought it was a good movie.  I wonder if they'll do a sequel.

It's possible I thought it was one type of movie but it turned out to be what it is and I wasn't in the mood for it. 

It's odd that I didn't like it because I like 'different'. The Netflix series OA is a weird/different show but I liked it. It's been several years since I watched Melancholia and I might like it upon a rewatch.
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#52
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2022, 10:03 PM by NewJagsCity. Edited 1 time in total.)

Weekend at Bernie's II is right up (down) there. Along with Bio-Dome.
"Remember Red, Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."  - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
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#53

(06-03-2022, 07:18 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote:
(06-03-2022, 09:41 AM)The Real Marty Wrote: Oh, I disagree.  I liked Melancholia.  I thought it was a good movie.  I wonder if they'll do a sequel.

It's possible I thought it was one type of movie but it turned out to be what it is and I wasn't in the mood for it. 

It's odd that I didn't like it because I like 'different'. The Netflix series OA is a weird/different show but I liked it. It's been several years since I watched Melancholia and I might like it upon a rewatch.

I'll admit it can be pretty depressing.  My line about a sequel was a joke, of course.
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#54
(This post was last modified: 06-05-2022, 12:25 AM by NewJagsCity. Edited 3 times in total.)

So, this topic in general got me to thinking about movies that are so intentionally bad that they are good (Plan 9, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, etc), vs movies that may have been originally well intentioned but went horribly wrong (Battlefield Earth, Istar) vs movies that were just made badly for whatever reason and were banking on either star power or current trends in film (Jack and Jill, Adventures of Pluto Nash). I recently recalled an animated film of what I believe to be in the 3rd category when thinking about some real stinkers I watched with my daughters when they were young teens. And then the animated film 'Titanic: The Legend Continues' re entered my consciousness. If you never saw this 2000 release, it's not surprising since it was an Italian release and wasn't promoted in the US. That being said, it is weirdly, randomly and laughably bad, particularly since it was originally marketed to children. If youve got an hour to kill, check it out on YouTube; tho if you think that comedic material involved with the sinking of a luxury liner which caused the deaths of hundreds is out of bounds, then I don't recommend it. If you can get past that, you might LOL at quite a bit of it, especially the rapping dog scenes. It might even be funnier if you are high while viewing it, since I'm pretty sure the director was.
"Remember Red, Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."  - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption
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