A horse walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"











also works with Sarah Jessica Parker, but that's more mom joke than dad's

I was about to toss my ‘maters at ya until you added the SJP part.  But I’d still hit it.

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From my facewhat feed this morning:

How do farmers party?

They turnip the beets.

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Went to a zoo the other day.

They just had one animal. A dog.

It was a shitzu.

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Went to a zoo the other day.

They just had one animal. A dog.

It was a shitzu.

Negative points....repeat...

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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

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Went to a zoo the other day.

They just had one animal. A dog.

It was a shitzu.

Negative points....repeat...

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I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

Why couldn't the jalapeño do archery?

He didn't habanero.

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An emergency call: 'Come quick, my friend was bitten by a wolf!'

Operator: 'Where?'

Caller: 'No, a regular one!'

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#Jags4Life

Tar Heel Jags Fan

Inflation is really getting out of hand..


But that's just my 5 cents.

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Inflation is really getting out of hand..


But that's just my 5 cents.

I heard one similar.  Went alongs the lines like…


…air used to be free at the gas station.  Now they charge .50 due to inflation.   

I’m sure I screwed that one up. You get the point

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I went to a concert it only cost me $0.45. It was Fifty Cent featuring Nickelback.

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I just found out that sign language can be pretty handy.

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This thread isn’t fair.  It just happens to be that my SIL sent me two dad joke books for Christmas.  She usually sends the stupidest [BLEEP].  Guess the joke is on her, I actually like this one. <— I’m 100% serious about that

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Do robots have brothers?

Nope, just transisters.


I laughed way too hard at that one.

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What do you call an angry carrot?

A steamed vegetable.

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An American, Frenchman, Mexican and a German were walking through a busy marketplace. They happen upon a street performer And stop to watch behind a busy crowd. The performer realizes they can’t see and stands on a box then asks “can you see me now?”

They reply
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Si”
“Ja”

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Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

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Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

When they are one-liners, makes it even better. I like that one a lot. I read it in my book.  Then again, all these jokes have been in it.

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What does a deaf gynecologist do?


Read lips.

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#Jags4Life

Tar Heel Jags Fan

What does a deaf gynecologist do?


Read lips.

Haha.  Your dad was…different.  Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.

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What does a deaf gynecologist do?


Read lips.

Haha.  Your dad was…different.  Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.

Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke. 
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??

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Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:

I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.

It is my new year's resolution.

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Haha.  Your dad was…different.  Let’s just hope those lips don’t talk back.

Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke. 
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??

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Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:

I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.

It is my new year's resolution.

Tbf my dad actually did tell me that joke a few months ago; my old man has always been a bit of a perv lol.I do enjoy teaching and I am quite sure my students have heard way worse from their peers lol.

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#Jags4Life

Tar Heel Jags Fan

Yeah... umm .... that's not a dad joke. 
Funny, but- wait a minute - didn't that guy say he's a teacher??

---

Anyway - I have some 2023 news for you guys:

I have decided to only watch videos and stream content in 1080p or higher this year.

It is my new year's resolution.

Tbf my dad actually did tell me that joke a few months ago; my old man has always been a bit of a perv lol.I do enjoy teaching and I am quite sure my students have heard way worse from their peers lol.

I do not disagree  - only kidding about the teacher thing also

"dad joke" is nonetheless its own genre despite the variety of dad humor in the world

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I found a wooden shoe in my toilet this morning.  It was clogged.

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