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Things that make you laugh...

#21
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019, 05:08 PM by Jags.)

I was  in the dentist chair trying not to think of an old joke I re-heard recently.  The one about Tickle Me Elmo receiving ‘two test-tickles’ before leaving the factory.  That one gets me every time.

That one and that bad pick-up line:

There are 8 planets in our solar system. But only 7 after I destroy Uranus. 

Yeah, I’m immature.  So what?
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#22
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019, 08:14 PM by Sammy.)

Uranus is gaseous.





Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the opossum it could be done.
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#23

63 Earths could fit inside Uranus

64 if you'd just relax.


Look what you people have done to me.
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#24

Knock Knock.
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#25

so this made me laugh last night. our two youngest kids are 5 & 6 the wife tends to "baby" the youngest she's kind of in that stage where she doesn't want to admit she doesn't have any babies now. Anyways both of them where in full on car-seats (the ones with the harnesses) until last year when she left one of them in my work truck. I smoke in my truck and didn't see she left one of seats in the back of my truck one week. When she went to pull it out she threw it out, she didn't want to have the smoke smelling car seat in her car. That's how the 6 year old graduated to a booster seat, well the 5 year old is convinced he should also be in a booster seat, moms having none of it her baby is staying in a car seat. so we're going out to dinner last night and the 5 year old says "Dad I need you to smoke my car seat so mom will let me grow up" I was rolling, smoke my car seat! ha I love kids that make life funny.
[Image: 5_RdfH.gif]
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#26

(02-06-2019, 08:51 PM)Sammy Wrote: Knock Knock.

Ain't nobody here. Scram if you know what's good for ya.

[Image: 8.jpg?i10c=img.resize(height:160)]
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#27

(02-06-2019, 10:46 PM)EricC85 Wrote: so this made me laugh last night. our two youngest kids are 5 & 6 the wife tends to "baby" the youngest she's kind of in that stage where she doesn't want to admit she doesn't have any babies now. Anyways both of them where in full on car-seats (the ones with the harnesses) until last year when she left one of them in my work truck. I smoke in my truck and didn't see she left one of seats in the back of my truck one week. When she went to pull it out she threw it out, she didn't want to have the smoke smelling car seat in her car. That's how the 6 year old graduated to a booster seat, well the 5 year old is convinced he should also be in a booster seat, moms having none of it her baby is staying in a car seat. so we're going out to dinner last night and the 5 year old says "Dad I need you to smoke my car seat so mom will let me grow up" I was rolling, smoke my car seat! ha I love kids that make life funny.

Put it in with the Thanksgiving Turkey this year. Put a little sauce on it and tell him if he eats he's a grown up.
“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

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#28

(02-06-2019, 08:51 PM)Sammy Wrote: Knock Knock.

This is a super awkward post, considering the three prior posts before it.

Thanks Sammy, needed that chuckle.
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#29

(02-06-2019, 08:51 PM)Sammy Wrote: Knock Knock.

1. That’s the back door, go around to the front.

2.  You’ll still have to get past the security system.
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#30

(02-07-2019, 02:00 PM)Jags Wrote:
(02-06-2019, 08:51 PM)Sammy Wrote: Knock Knock.

1. That’s the back door, go around to the front.

2.  You’ll still have to get past the security system.

That's what she said.
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#31

My wife accused me of being an adult today.    Laughing
Original Season Ticket Holder - Retired  1995 - 2020


At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
 

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#32

(02-06-2019, 08:28 PM)homebiscuit Wrote: 63 Earths could fit inside Uranus

64 if you'd just relax.

That's a very penetrating observation.
When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.
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#33

(02-09-2019, 06:06 PM)copycat Wrote: My wife accused me of being an adult today.    Laughing

Something my wife would never accuse me of.  Even if I did deserve it, she wouldn’t acknowledge it.  I’d get the “you’re supposed to (insert responsible act) anyways”.
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#34

(02-09-2019, 06:06 PM)copycat Wrote: My wife accused me of being an adult today.    Laughing


Oh no she didn't ... did you throw a tantrum?
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#35

(02-11-2019, 06:06 PM)Sammy Wrote:
(02-09-2019, 06:06 PM)copycat Wrote: My wife accused me of being an adult today.    Laughing


Oh no she didn't ... did you throw a tantrum?

Does blowing her a raspberry and skipping out of the room count?
Original Season Ticket Holder - Retired  1995 - 2020


At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
 

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#36

Watching your dogs running from your Roomba.
Original Season Ticket Holder - Retired  1995 - 2020


At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.
 

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#37

(02-22-2019, 01:42 PM)copycat Wrote: Watching your dogs running from your Roomba.

Or the cat just ride it around like a Sedgeway.
“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

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#38

(02-23-2019, 09:56 AM)flsprtsgod Wrote:
(02-22-2019, 01:42 PM)copycat Wrote: Watching your dogs running from your Roomba.

Or the cat just ride it around like a Sedgeway.

That’s cuz cats are cooler than dogs!
What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???
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#39

What ever would Sammy the Donkey Lord do with one?
“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

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#40

I use my Roomba to clean my back.



And front.
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