nope. This is the thing ultimately. I am one of those guys who believes 2nd chances. I'm willing to give her one and work it out, IF she's willing. She has until Monday when her family goes home. I've plead my case and there's nothing more for me to do. I'm fully prepared either way. 

 

What about the other question? ....did this really ALL start just a week ago?

---

Its leaning towards separation ATM. I had a gut feeling she cheated on me and I was right. I have a gut feeling she's going to pick this chick too. Problem with kid is I have to be 100% flexible in terms of availability at my job and she has the kid friendly schedule. I've busted my tail for 2 1/2 years to get where I'm at. Once I complete my program I'll make an extra 10k a year. 5 years after that another 25k. In terms of looking out for me that's a big deal. We'll keep it friendly and professional moving forward and for now I'll stay in the area and see how that goes.

Go through your program and do your thing. Make that extra money. Idk how Indiana is, I'd imagine like florida, you being a male is against your favor of having custody of your child. If the court decides she has custody and you only get the weekend visits, keep your head up high my friend. Do all you can for your son and for yourself and make the best of it. I know it sounds hard, because let's face it it is, it's really hard especially at first. But, you will get through this. You will have a happier life in the end. As Jamie's fried chicken has asked, if your spiritual or not... Well, I won't go further for, well, I just got back to zero warning post and your hurting so I'll say it anyway, besides, I think this is worth the warning. If you are in any bit spiritual go there first. He WILL NOT lead you astray. It will pass. It WILL get better. I believe you stated either in this or another thread that you didn't have many friends to hang out with. But from the looks of this thread you have many, many people here that are here for you and support you. As for me, pm me anytime if you just want to talk, I'm sure most on here offer you the same as well. I know it's hard to see it now, but it's not the end of this time of your life, but rather the start of your new one. Make the best of it. Feel liberated. Go do the things you've wanted to but haven't. Keep at that program and further your career. Whatever it is that motivates you run with it. I'm sorry your going through this. But, we are all here for you man!

---

nope. This is the thing ultimately. I am one of those guys who believes 2nd chances. I'm willing to give her one and work it out, IF she's willing. She has until Monday when her family goes home. I've plead my case and there's nothing more for me to do. I'm fully prepared either way. 

 

The fact that you're having to plead your case should be enough to tell you what you need to know. 

---

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

The fact that you're having to plead your case should be enough to tell you what you need to know.

He seems to be okay with letting her make all the decisions. If you have to "think" about whether you want to be with me or not...that's your answer right there.

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

Everybody has to live their own life and make their own decisions. But damn, I would have been making plans to get outta there now. I sure as hell wouldn't trust her anymore and to her be the one to 'make the decision'...I don't get it.


That's enough for me in this thread. This is just too weird and depressing.

---

He seems to be okay with letting her make all the decisions. If you have to "think" about whether you want to be with me or not...that's your answer right there.

 

Exactly. 

 

If I'm having to beg my wife to stick around, I've already lost.  Time to man up and make a few decisions.

 

I understand not wanting to ruin a child's birthday, but you know what?  Her family is there.  I'd be looking to get ahead of that situation so her family is aware of what she's doing to break up the marriage.  I'd wait until after the party, but to think the kid is oblivious is pretty unfair. 

---

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Exactly. 

 

If I'm having to beg my wife to stick around, I've already lost.  Time to man up and make a few decisions.

 

I understand not wanting to ruin a child's birthday, but you know what?  Her family is there.  I'd be looking to get ahead of that situation so her family is aware of what she's doing to break up the marriage.  I'd wait until after the party, but to think the kid is oblivious is pretty unfair.

I agree with you!!

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

I agree with you!!

 

So you're as spiteful as I would probably be. 

---

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

So you're as spiteful as I would probably be.

I don't think it's so much being spiteful as respecting yourself...

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

I don't think it's so much being spiteful as respecting yourself...

Well, there's that too.

---

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

After playing nice this weekend I basically know what the outcome will be. I told her Monday to decide. If she hasn't told me me by now......then obviously we all know what the outcome is going to be. And you know what? I'm cool with it at this point. I'm ready to start the next chapter in my life.

---

After playing nice this weekend I basically know what the outcome will be. I told her Monday to decide. If she hasn't told me me by now......then obviously we all know what the outcome is going to be. And you know what? I'm cool with it at this point. I'm ready to start the next chapter in my life.

 

BigJag...I asked this before, you might have missed it...

 

Did this ALL really have the genesis of last Friday??? It just seems rather quick.....Like really quick!! Your wife never saw this person before last Friday in any capacity?

---

I cringed reading his last few responses in this thread.

 

I understand asking for advice, but its just some things you handle in private.

 

Easy for you to say....what if he has no one else he can turn to for advice like this? Don't judge someone till you walk in their shoes. 

 

Jeezus did -----I---- just say that??? 

 

My God....Its almost as if I'm maturing, finally. :pinch:

---

It would be a shame if this other person was helping her work on some big surprise for you, and this turns out to be nothing more than a big misunderstanding.

 

I think this was the premise of an I Love Lucy episode.

---

If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley


 

It would be a shame if this other person was helping her work on some big surprise for you, and this turns out to be nothing more than a big misunderstanding.

 

I think this was the premise of an I Love Lucy episode.

 

If so, she's got some 'splainin' to do.

---

After playing nice this weekend I basically know what the outcome will be. I told her Monday to decide. If she hasn't told me me by now......then obviously we all know what the outcome is going to be. And you know what? I'm cool with it at this point. I'm ready to start the next chapter in my life.

 

Forget that. You need to lawyer up NOW. Otherwise you risk your own personal well being for the next decade. I've been there, believe me. Either you push the terms or you're going to get screwed. The courts don't look favorably on a man in your position unless he's taken the initiative. DO NOT let her set the pace of this thing, if you do then you will regret it.

---

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

Forget that. You need to lawyer up NOW. Otherwise you risk your own personal well being for the next decade. I've been there, believe me. Either you push the terms or you're going to get screwed. The courts don't look favorably on a man in your position unless he's taken the initiative. DO NOT let her set the pace of this thing, if you do then you will regret it.

 

Per everything BigJag has said about what the woman is doing, unfortunately the above is pretty much where its come to. 

 

BigJag has already got his heart trampled on...he doesn't need to see the his issues multiply by having his wallet/ wealth trampled on by the same woman, too. 

---

Mad dog she did in fact recently start seeing her.I was able to look at the texting log and shows me a big spike in a certain number at that point.


I plan on reaching out to a lawyer tomorrow and seeing what the options are as well as looking into a place.

---

Exactly!! You never want to think of being the one to push her over to the other side! :thumbsup:

 

I know we're joking here, but I don't think many men are that repulsive. If a woman goes that way, or a man if the roles are reversed, it was just a matter of time.

---

If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley


 

Forget that. You need to lawyer up NOW. Otherwise you risk your own personal well being for the next decade. I've been there, believe me. Either you push the terms or you're going to get screwed. The courts don't look favorably on a man in your position unless he's taken the initiative. DO NOT let her set the pace of this thing, if you do then you will regret it.

Bingo

---

Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.