There’s a new girl doing traffic announcements on radio station WOKV. I can’t understand her name, but it sounds like she’s saying Shakara Fontenogger. Talk about a name made for television.

I thought it sounded like her last name was Fartknocker!

It's a doozie of a name.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

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Oh goodie! She is on the cellular telephone with him now! All willll be good, I assume. No need to fret. Disregard my last, fellas!

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She most likely didn't want to make the call herself so she put it on you to do it. She probably didn't know what to say either. I'm really bad with dealing with people in mourning or dealing with cancer or whatever. I don't know what to say and what I do say will likely sound cold and indifferent. I send cards to people to avoid this dilemma. If immediate action is needed I text.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

Um, when do you think you can make it back to work? 

That would have gone over like a turd in the punch bowl.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

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What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

She most likely didn't want to make the call herself so she put it on you to do it. She probably didn't know what to say either. I'm really bad with dealing with people in mourning or dealing with cancer or whatever. I don't know what to say and what I do say will likely sound cold and indifferent. I send cards to people to avoid this dilemma. If immediate action is needed I text.

Yes, this sounds like me.  I’ve never had to deal with that.  I come from a small family and my parents have long outlasted their parents.  I haven’t had to deal with death in the family.  And when I did, I was 14 and thought “well, that’s what happens to old people”. And that was grandma that lived in our house. The one and only grandparent I knew.   And I’m fairly certain she didn’t like me.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

Correct.  As it turns out.  She did call. She left a VM.  But I found that out after my rant.  And she is the one I turn to for the tough answers. I’m not good in those situations.  So I was like [BLEEP]?  I’ll be honest, she told me this morning, but work happened.  I didn’t think about it one bit during the day or even after I got off work.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

Um, when do you think you can make it back to work? 

That would have gone over like a turd in the punch bowl.

Your first question would be my first thought, not gonna lie.  But I do understand that’s not what one should say or ask.  It’s sad work has gotten that bad for me to think like that. Luckily, that’s not the case.  Maybe I say to my BIL, whew!  At least it was t my employee!   We dodged a bullet there, eh!?  I kid, but a lot of truth is said in jest.  I’m not the most empathetic or is it sympathetic? I’ve got weird genes.

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

@Welcome to wedlock, bask in your wrongness.@

I think it really comes down to how well you and your BiL get along. If you spend weekends doing projects and enjoying cold ones or have season tix near each other, than yeah, as soon as I hear news of his dad's passing, I'd call if only to see if he needs a hand with anything while sorting through the arrangements, or wants to borrow my ear and unload. Otherwise, this may be more a case of your wife hoping you'd do the heavy lifting on this one. She may be hurting for him, or be subject to expectations from the extended family. (Hoo doggie is wifey's fambly terrible about that last bit)

My wife has one sister, and I've never met BiL's dad. BiL is a human [BLEEP], though, so I'd be in more trouble if I expressed empathy over his loss were I in your shoes 

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Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

The great compromise: Offer to make the call on speaker as a couple.

In thinking about this, I have realized I do not have SiL's nor her husband's numbers in my phone. I GOT ME AN ALIBI!! WOOOOOO!

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She most likely didn't want to make the call herself so she put it on you to do it. She probably didn't know what to say either. I'm really bad with dealing with people in mourning or dealing with cancer or whatever. I don't know what to say and what I do say will likely sound cold and indifferent. I send cards to people to avoid this dilemma. If immediate action is needed I text.

Yes, this sounds like me.  I’ve never had to deal with that.  I come from a small family and my parents have long outlasted their parents.  I haven’t had to deal with death in the family.  And when I did, I was 14 and thought “well, that’s what happens to old people”. And that was grandma that lived in our house. The one and only grandparent I knew.   And I’m fairly certain she didn’t like me.

---

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

Correct.  As it turns out.  She did call. She left a VM.  But I found that out after my rant.  And she is the one I turn to for the tough answers. I’m not good in those situations.  So I was like [BLEEP]?  I’ll be honest, she told me this morning, but work happened.  I didn’t think about it one bit during the day or even after I got off work.

---

Um, when do you think you can make it back to work? 

That would have gone over like a turd in the punch bowl.

Your first question would be my first thought, not gonna lie.  But I do understand that’s not what one should say or ask.  It’s sad work has gotten that bad for me to think like that. Luckily, that’s not the case.  Maybe I say to my BIL, whew!  At least it was t my employee!   We dodged a bullet there, eh!?  I kid, but a lot of truth is said in jest.  I’m not the most empathetic or is it sympathetic? I’ve got weird genes.

protip: Tonight during dinner, "I'm sorry I didn't make the call. Have you heard back from BiL? Does the family need anything that we can help with?" will get you back in good graces.

@Then ask if she can take care of the dishes tonight, you're tired after staying up to watch MNF and work was rough, that way you return to familiar territory@

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There's the handy dandy 5 step method to any communication:

1: Identification. "Hey John, this is Mike."
2: Reason: "Look, I heard about your dad passing away. I just called to check on you and offer our condolences."
3: Remind: "If you or Jenny or the kids need anything at all..."
4: Deflect: "... just call my wife and we'll do whatever we can to help."
5. Exit: "I know you have a lot going on, so I'll check on you again in a few days. Call if you need us. Bye."

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

There's the handy dandy 5 step method to any communication:

1: Identification. "Hey John, this is Mike."
2: Reason: "Look, I heard about your dad passing away. I just called to check on you and offer our condolences."
3: Remind: "If you or Jenny or the kids need anything at all..."
4: Deflect: "... just call my wife and we'll do whatever we can to help."
5. Exit: "I know you have a lot going on, so I'll check on you again in a few days. Call if you need us. Bye."

That's easy for guys. Women get emotional and weird about stuff. If I could reach out to the guy I'd probably be alright because they don't need much, but women..... Ugh. And if you make a misstep it's all over. You're on the outs for awhile. This is why men are much better at this stuff. Few words needed and women, myself included depending on the situation, don't always know when to stop talking.

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There's the handy dandy 5 step method to any communication:

1: Identification. "Hey John, this is Mike."
2: Reason: "Look, I heard about your dad passing away. I just called to check on you and offer our condolences."
3: Remind: "If you or Jenny or the kids need anything at all..."
4: Deflect: "... just call my wife and we'll do whatever we can to help."
5. Exit: "I know you have a lot going on, so I'll check on you again in a few days. Call if you need us. Bye."

That's easy for guys. Women get emotional and weird about stuff. If I could reach out to the guy I'd probably be alright because they don't need much, but women..... Ugh. And if you make a misstep it's all over. You're on the outs for awhile. This is why men are much better at this stuff. Few words needed and women, myself included depending on the situation, don't always know when to stop talking.

While I 100% agree with this, agreeing with this is also a risk of bodily harm lolol

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Texas woman uses rifle to shoot, kill alleged 'Peeping Tom' caught peering into bedroom window | Fox News

This will be an interesting case for the DA to decide.

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That's a [BLEEP] goat. 

Link

Farm friends show up to save a chicken from a hawk in the Netherlands.

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Not sure who to quote. FlSptsgod hit it the nail on the head. Would have been great at the time. Mikey: not so far off base. However, I do like my BIL. Him and I recently started to talk more. But even then, it’s once in a while. There is some mileage between us and her family. So, I suppose I found the right house. We get along just fine. After 20 yrs in the family, I still feel this situation is in my wife’s wheelhouse. All is good though, at least for the obvious people. I’m out of hot water. And yes, I will be asking the Mrs to do the dishes. After all, I did cook!

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There's the handy dandy 5 step method to any communication:

1: Identification. "Hey John, this is Mike."
2: Reason: "Look, I heard about your dad passing away. I just called to check on you and offer our condolences."
3: Remind: "If you or Jenny or the kids need anything at all..."
4: Deflect: "... just call my wife and we'll do whatever we can to help."
5. Exit: "I know you have a lot going on, so I'll check on you again in a few days. Call if you need us. Bye."

I like how you don't even wait for a response before exiting the call.

This is tier-1 pro strategy

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Not sure who to quote.  FlSptsgod hit it the nail on the head.  Would have been great at the time.  Mikey:  not so far off base.  However, I do like my BIL.  Him and I recently started to talk more.  But even then, it’s once in a while. There is some mileage between us and her family.  So, I suppose I found the right house.    We get along just fine.  After 20 yrs in the family, I still feel this situation is  in my wife’s wheelhouse.  All is good though, at least for the obvious people.  I’m out of hot water.  And yes, I will be asking the Mrs to do the dishes.  After all, I did cook!

good to hear. Next time you run into BiL, be sure to tell him to stop getting you in hot water.

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Texas woman uses rifle to shoot, kill alleged 'Peeping Tom' caught peering into bedroom window | Fox News

This will be an interesting case for the DA to decide.

I expect she will be charged.  Looking through a window does not pose a threat sufficient to support the use of deadly force.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Had to get away from this [BLEEP] job for a little bit. Decided to go out to the local Chinese buffet.

I should be asleep in a half hour.

---

There's the handy dandy 5 step method to any communication:

1: Identification. "Hey John, this is Mike."
2: Reason: "Look, I heard about your dad passing away. I just called to check on you and offer our condolences."
3: Remind: "If you or Jenny or the kids need anything at all..."
4: Deflect: "... just call my wife and we'll do whatever we can to help."
5. Exit: "I know you have a lot going on, so I'll check on you again in a few days. Call if you need us. Bye."

I like how you don't even wait for a response before exiting the call.

This is tier-1 pro strategy

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Not sure who to quote.  FlSptsgod hit it the nail on the head.  Would have been great at the time.  Mikey:  not so far off base.  However, I do like my BIL.  Him and I recently started to talk more.  But even then, it’s once in a while. There is some mileage between us and her family.  So, I suppose I found the right house.    We get along just fine.  After 20 yrs in the family, I still feel this situation is  in my wife’s wheelhouse.  All is good though, at least for the obvious people.  I’m out of hot water.  And yes, I will be asking the Mrs to do the dishes.  After all, I did cook!

good to hear. Next time you run into BiL, be sure to tell him to stop getting you in hot water.

I read the below book a bunch of years ago. They really thought of everything, but you can distill most of the messages down to a few key points that can be used over and over again in different situations.

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

Had to get away from this [BLEEP] job for a little bit.  Decided to go out to the local Chinese buffet.

I should be asleep in a half hour.

And wake up hungry again.

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