ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO MARYLAND
1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December (if ur lucky)
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into consideration Football games.
13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
18. No matter what kind: sprite, coke, pepsi, mtn dew, its called Soda
19. If you don't like the weather in Maryland, wait 15 minutes, it will change.??
20. Old Bay goes on everything.

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO MARYLAND
1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December (if ur lucky)
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into consideration Football games.
13. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
18. No matter what kind: sprite, coke, pepsi, mtn dew, its called Soda
19. If you don't like the weather in Maryland, wait 15 minutes, it will change.??
20. Old Bay goes on everything.

1. The vast majority of those seem like they can go for any southern state. 

2.  I watched a “Dirty Jobs” episode the other day..  seems like “J.O.” Is the seasoning most used in restaurants in Maryland as opposed to Old Bay.  Any truth to that?   I (like winger and bunny, haha) love the old bay.  I just thought that that was the seasoning to use.

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Got this at the beginning of the season, framed it and put it on my home office wall above my desk........

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

WOW! ONly about 2pm and I'm 1/2 high already.......... Insomnia been kicking my [BLEEP] lately so............ Gonna take a quick nap...........

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

I installed one of those Ring doorbell cams recently. Since I'm almost deaf, I could never hear if someone was knocking at the door if I was in my home office...... Well..... I got a text on my phone earlier that someone was knocking...... I turn on the live feed and it looked like 2 J-Witnesses there. I just ignored it...... They continued to knock for about 10 minutes (I kept the live feed going) before they left. Well, it seems J-Witnesses cant read.... I have a doormat that says "GO AWAY Unless you brought beer, pizza, or taco's". Now, if they can't read a simple doormat, how the hell can they read that bible they always carry to try to sell their religion to other people going door to door?

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

I installed one of those Ring doorbell cams recently. Since I'm almost deaf, I could never hear if someone was knocking at the door if I was in my home office...... Well..... I got a text on my phone earlier that someone was knocking...... I turn on the live feed and it looked like 2 J-Witnesses there. I just ignored it...... They continued to knock for about 10 minutes (I kept the live feed going) before they left. Well, it seems J-Witnesses cant read.... I have a doormat that says "GO AWAY Unless you brought beer, pizza, or taco's". Now, if they can't read a simple doormat, how the hell can they read that bible they always carry to try to sell their religion to other people going door to door?

LOL.  Maybe they didn't leave for good.  They could be coming back with a pizza.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Newspaper article from 60 years ago, 4/18/63..... Sort of blows the mind..... But then again, I remember something my 4th grade teacher said.... That in the future, we really will not need to carry cash, everything will be on a little card.......

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

That thing's in someone's backyard right now, smokin a rack of ribs and a pork butt..

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That thing's in someone's backyard right now, smokin a rack of ribs and a pork butt..

I’d bet a paycheck it’s in St. George Ga. too!  That’s just out of Callahan and Hilliard’s league.

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Newspaper article from 60 years ago, 4/18/63..... Sort of blows the mind..... But then again, I remember something my 4th grade teacher said.... That in the future, we really will not need to carry cash, everything will be on a little card.......

Today's fantasy becomes tomorrow's technology.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

I went from Phoenix Arizona all the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA..

Talk about that..

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I also love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Discuss..

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Newspaper article from 60 years ago, 4/18/63..... Sort of blows the mind..... But then again, I remember something my 4th grade teacher said.... That in the future, we really will not need to carry cash, everything will be on a little card.......

Many, many moons ago I remember telling a buddy that one day there would be no cassette tapes as we sat in his car listening to tunes and, um, partaking. All the music would be stored in the radio. He told me I was smoking something.

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I also love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Discuss..

Sorry, I don't go that way.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

I also love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Discuss..

Sorry, I don't go that way.

He’s quoting a song

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Just watched an older sports movie...... The Replacements......... It wasn't a bad movie but I've seen better sports movies in my day........ I more or less came out of it with the opinion that it was just an attempted remake of the movie Slap Shot. It did have a good message in it though..... If you're going to attempt something, put all of your heart and soul into it..... if you do that, you'll always be a winner...........

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Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."

Just watched an older sports movie...... The Replacements......... It wasn't a bad movie but I've seen better sports movies in my day........ I more or less came out of it with the opinion that it was just an attempted remake of the movie Slap Shot. It did have a good message in it though..... If you're going to attempt something, put all of your heart and soul into it..... if you do that, you'll always be a winner...........

I love that movie! The cheerleaders were something else. 

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What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???