(07-27-2017, 01:58 AM)Dakota Wrote: I have spoken to my parents about this. I have 4 parents, as my original parents divorced and re-married nearly 30 years ago. All 4 have done extremely well financially in life and want to help me out with this. That's all fine and good, but I don't want to be the financial burden that costs them tens of thousands every year. I know that they can easily afford that, but I don't want to be the burden that drains their nest eggs. My father says that there is no discussion about it and they will assume the duty of paying for my care. I  just don't know if I can accept that. Call it pride. Call it whatever. My disease gives me a 6% or so chance of surviving 5 years. I am coming up on year 3. I don't want to see them waste their money on a lost cause. That being said, I don't think I am going to accept their help. They won't be happy about my decision, but it's ultimately that, my decision. I have no fear of death. It's much worse for the ones left behind, and that's the hardest part for me to deal with. But, sometimes you just have to look at the picture and say it's time to stop carrying on this fight. It has essentially ruined my life, my marriage, and most of my friendships. I am just existing, and that's no way to live.

Pride is a funny thing.  I understand your reluctance to accept their help, but you're a dad, so you understand where they're coming from.  From their perspective, it's not a lost cause if they're able to keep you going, even if it's just for a day, week, month, or year longer.  

A friend of mine had a similar diagnosis a few years back.  It was such a certainty that he wasn't going to win his battle that he started writing letters to his children for every milestone in their lives (graduations, marriages, grandchildren, etc) so that they could have a piece of him there with them as they achieved each one.  He continued to fight the disease, but ended up in a place very similar to yours where he didn't see any hope and was prepared to let the disease run its course.  He continued the brutal treatments, and went through extensive surgery to fight it, but the prognosis was grim.  Long story short, at his lowest point, he found the courage to continue the fight, and despite long odds, he actually beat the predictions, and today lives cancer free.  As his 3 kids have hit the milestones he had written letters for, he burns the letters as a way of telling cancer to screw off.

None of us are walking in your shoes, but know that you have a community of almost complete strangers for the most part who continue to pray for you and send you positive energy to help you carry on the fight.

---