(05-15-2019, 03:19 PM)Last42min Wrote: I wrote this for another messageboard I frequent, and I figured I'd post it here, even though I'm not on this subforum that much. I thought the episode was a lot like the battle of winterfell: Emotionally compelling, logically flawed.

The thing that kills me is that it wouldn't be that hard to fix what's wrong with the series. Dialogue and foreshadowing is what made this series so good. I think the dialogue isn't working because the structure is wrong. They have all the pieces, but the plot is no longer entangled. They only need to rework it slightly for a natural story to fall in place. I've been thinking of doing a YouTube series on how to fix GoT, but I probably won't, so here's my half-hearted version that applies to this episode. It's a work in progress. I really need to watch the last episode to see the total vision, but here's what I would have changed.

First, let's start with Varys and Tyrion. Could the two most clever people left in the show be any more incompetent? All of their maneuvering is expository. It completely ruins the essence of these 2 characters. They went from playing chess to chutes and ladders. Varys and Tyrion need to have bigger roles. Varys literally walks up to Jon and says, "Want to commit treason? Nope? Okay, I'll just write some letters." So lame. There are better ways to do this (more on this later). Show. Don't tell. Creating real world scenarios that explain motive would create more realistic and intriguing dialogue. Every time the directors use expository to advance the plot, the writers struggle to make it seem natural.

I can't think of a worse example than when Euron said, "I'm the man who killed Jaime Lannister." I literally sat up and facepalmed. The story was so contrived you have to have Euron verbally state his motivation as he's dying. It's bad enough he was blown off his ship without firing a shot. Then he swims who-knows-how-far, in armor, to show up soaking wet at the exact time and place as Jaime. Okay. Dude. Just no. That scene was completely unnecessary. It was not worthy of being in the show. There was no build up. No tension. It was just out of place. When you compare the Clegane Bowl (which was thoroughly enjoyable), it was meaningful because of the history between the characters. We're supposed to care that Jaime kills Euron or vice versa?

In the book, it's alluded that Euron (Victarion in the book) has a magical horn that could destroy dragons. I get why they didn't get carried away with some of the books finer elements, but it would have made so much more sense for him to have that as a tool to defeat the dragons than another spear. It wouldn't be hard to add this to the show. While Qyburn is in the basement doing Qyburn things, he discovers a horn that can disorient dragons, but it needs to be found. This is the mission that Euron should have been given in the beginning of the season that endeared him to Cersei. He returns to the Red Keep with a giant horn. She "rewards" him, then tells him to find out if it works. None of the audience knows what it's supposed to do, but we find out when Euron ambushes Dany on her way to Dragonstone. He blows the horn in the direction of Rheagal, which disorients him. He falls into the ocean and they spear it to death. Now there is an obvious obstacle that needs to be destroyed before the dragon can be used properly.

This brings me back to the final resolution with Euron. It would be logical to send in Yara, but you want some kind of twist. Yara's fleet engages Euron. He gets bloodlust, goes after her personally. Destroys her fleet. Dialogue ensues as he and Yara fight on the bow of her ship. He beats her down. As she's lying there, there's more dialogues as she dies (easy stuff to write as the narrative is advancing; I could think of all kinds of options that would work). In the distance you see a dragon. Euron laughs.

Remember that conversation between Tyrion and Davos, you thought he was going to smuggle out Jaime and Cersei, but in reality Tyrion was giving him the mission to take out dragon horn. Cut to scene of Davos on the bow of Euron's ship. He snuck up during that battle in his dingy and boarded Euron's ship. He's frantically sawing down the horn. Euron tries to get back to the bow in time, but Davos kicks it over, into the water. Euron drops to he's knees as Drogon approaches. Davos dives off just in time. Cut to scene of Davos popping up out of the water, near his dingy. Dany has nuked the entire fleet.

Speaking of Dany, I like that they made her mad, but their reasoning, like everything else, is doodoo. People are so invested in Dany that they would want to believe she wouldn't go mad, so you can show them more glimpses of her inner dragon, but always have her walk it back. Show the struggle. This is where Varys would shine.

For starters, Varys should have been active all season. When Jon learns about his past from Samwell, have them hear a noise around the corner. It's a kid who just wanted to see Jon Snow in person, again, whatever dialogue the kids uses works because of course Jon let's them go. He's Jon. Then end the show with the "bird" telling Varys who Jon really is. Let Jon commit himself to Dany. It doesn't even matter if he tells Sansa or Arya at this point because the secret's out. I would prefer he tell his sisters because it would enhance the next part of this idea.

Another opportunity for Varys to spy would be after Melissandre dies. Have a conversation between Dany and Grey Worm where he laments his loss and they mention her final words: Dracaris. Maybe she hints that she should burn it to the ground, but then walks it back. Have Varys standing in the shadows. Show his concern. Have Varys confide in Tyrion, but let Varys set in motion his own demise as proof that she is coming unhinged. He intentionally, but subtly let it be known that he knows about Jon, so she executes him. Maybe she tortures him to find out how he knew and has to be talked down into a mercy killing. Not only does this raise concerns with Tyrion (because he knows) and Jon (because his sisters know), it gives Tyrion a reason to suspect a bloodbath. He knows there are two unreasonable women that will stop at nothing to win.

Tyrion suspects Cersei has a plan and starts trying to find out what it is. He cautions Dany not to attack without understanding her plan or she could kill thousands of innocents. When he releases Jaime, Tyrion this would be the perfect time for that dialogue to be written. Tyrion reminds Jaime how she blew up the Septim to win, and he needs him to resolve things peacefully for the sake of the realm, other than that, that scene doesn't change too much.

As for Dany, I like when Jon rejected her advances and she said, "then let it be fear." I thought it was a great line. However, I still don't think that's enough to break Dany. She needed to be rejected by the people or, at the very least, fear it. Have Cersei funnel everyone into the courtyard like planned. Only when she sees Dany destroy the fleet, she and Qyburn retreat to enact plan B, which is to burn the commoners to make them think they are being attacked by Dany. When she gets to the dungeon alone (because Clegane bowl takes place the exact same way) to set off the explosions, she runs into Jaime. He tries to get her to leave with him, but she says something like, they will never love her or she will never have King's Landing. She sets off the first round of explosions, Jaime realizes he'd have to kill her to stop her, so he reluctantly strangles her (like the prophecy said... another one they just forgot about). He lays over her dead body, mourning the loss of his sister and his child. Edit: I would have replaced Arya with Jaime. I would have had Jaime be the person the camera followed through the carnage. Have him try to save the mother and child. And, instead of him riding out on a white horse, he is crushed beneath the tower that falls.

Anyways, when Dany lands a top the tower and the bells start to ring. Her anger starts to wane. There's a moment where you think there will be peace, but the dragon roars and a building is set ablaze full of innocents. When sees the people being burned alive, she hears shouts of the mad queen, her face curls up in anger. "Then let it be fear," she says. She knows she will never have King's Landing and decides to burn it to the ground. She flies toward the Red Keep. Cut to Jon, muttering under his breath, looking up to the sky, "Dany... no." Now she just goes full monster. Grey Worm and the Dothraki go full barbaric mode, while Jon orders his guys to fall back. Everything else is roughly the same.

I think I covered the stupid parts. I could really clean this up and make it more streamlined, but I think these are the main things I would change. I did it more by character than chronologically, so hopefully it all makes sense. It's really not that much to add or subtract, and the writing would follow much easier.