(12-09-2022, 10:10 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote:

(12-09-2022, 11:51 AM)NewJagsCity Wrote: My wife fled a military coup in Peru in 1971.  She came here by herself with nothing.  Barely knew English.  Found an ESL program thru a church where she learned over a two month period, then got a job.  Then enrolled in JR college.  Worked her way thru. Eventually earned two college degrees. 52 years later, she's about to retire from her 30 career as a Physician Assistant.  Now, you're telling me that minority inner-city Americans, already in this country, who already know the language, and in this day and age have many many more advantages than my wife did can't do the same?  Bull. They don't lack opportunity, they lack motivation.

Most black women are oppressed by their own. Victim mentality is a real thing. You don't necessarily see a lack of.... powerful or influential black women because their industry suppresses them, it's that they're never told it's a choice. Or they're raised by parents who never instilled a work ethic or encouraged them to succeed in anything. 

There's a lot that goes into shaping how a person acts and reacts to life situations and opportunities. Especially women. Your wife sounds like an exceptional woman and good for her that she accomplished what she has but not every woman is built that way mentally. Not all men are either.

For reasons I can't talk about here I was never told college or trade school or anything like that was an option. I was never encouraged to succeed or excel at anything. I was never taught to set goals or how attain them. The only reason I knew how to write checks or knew about balancing a checkbook was from classes we had to take in high school back in the day like Home Economics. I was 200% unprepared for even the basics of life skills after I left home. The Army saved me from being a completely useless person in society. I joined because it's what I always wanted to do and I had no idea it would seriously save me from being a useless human being.

Similar to my situation. My father was an alcoholic who never put any priority on providing for his family. My mother was ground down from years of struggling to raise kids with a crippled hand, an abusive husband and no money. However, my father wasn't a complete bastard. He was highly intelligent, college educated and instilled an appreciation of reading, learning and critical thinking skills into us kids. He was highly capable of earning a good living but along with his alcoholism was inflicted with a deep sense of antipathy towards responsibility and what people would consider a normal life. I only ever remember him working a regular tax-paying job when I was very young. He hadn't filed a tax return in decades and never considered registering a car or keeping a current driver's license. We always existed on the edge of society. 

College was a fairy tale. However, I always knew there was a better life out there. Like you, I had little knowledge of life skills until I joined the Navy. It was the best thing that ever happened to me and I have to thank my brother who came home on leave, took one look at me and said, "We need to go talk to the recruiter." I figured why not, with no intention of joining, and came home that afternoon with a 6-year enlistment contract. They got me good. Lol.

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