I think trading places is the wrong way to think about it. If you get anybody's situation without also getting their knowledge and life experience, it would be impossibly hard to even cope, mentally.

I think of it more in terms of challenges. In life, everyone has a few challenges. Things they overcome. In America, being white is not one of them. Forming an identity as a white person is not one of them. I never heard the "that was very white of you" joke until I was in my late 20s. But being Black is a challenge. I watched the black people I went to school with worry about their peers saying they were "acting white" whenever they did well in school. Being told they had to code switch before they tried to speak to a white person and switch back before they talk to black people again. They didn't complain, but obviously it takes extra mental horsepower to keep of with challenges like this. And I didn't have them simply because I pass as white. Even though I'm a mutt.

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