(10-03-2024, 01:02 PM)NYC4jags Wrote:

(10-03-2024, 11:47 AM)Caldrac Wrote: Sounds rough. Glad she's getting help and support now. Not sure what it's like for women to be honest with you. I just pound pre workout and zone out in the gym six times per week for a good hour and sweat it out in the sauna. 

Guess that beats picking up a cocaine habit and a gambling addiction. Therapy and counseling is not a one size fits all. Everybody is wired differently and their environment and even genetics can play a hand or two in how we all read and react situation to situation. 

It's all about breaking the cycle nine times out of ten.

Yeah, life can hand anyone a crap sandwich from time to time and some folks need more help to get through it than others. 

My Pops always just gave me and my brother the tough love routine - you know - "suck it up kid and go be stronger than the problem" It worked with us. 

That didn't work with her, and my bro basically gave up on her when it didn't. 

Luckily in this instance some counseling and some support from other family members are getting her on track. 

I've been hitting the gym more lately to deal with my own stress levels. It helps. 
My work responsibilities have grown along with business growth which means profit for me, but it also means solving lots more problems each month and that can mess up your ability to stay level and patient. Added stress needs an outlet. 

My GF wants me to see a therapist just to make sure I'm managing it well. 
I might. 
Not opposed to good advice if I can get it.

Whatever works for you. I don't judge. I think a lot of people, again, we're all wired differently. 

Some people will [BLEEP] on therapy for a variety of reasons while behind closed doors? They're struggling internally and externally. They'll "self-medicate" with a hidden addiction or habit.

Alcohol, drugs, whether legally or illegally, etc. It's the worst kept secret in our country. We have a massive mental health issue here. A lot of us are quietly suffering and just bobbing and weaving through the burnout. 

It can be lonely sometimes. Even in a room filled with loved ones or friends. Sometimes I am guilty of that "1,000 yard stare" in the middle of social gatherings. Some folks will call me out on it. Most don't. I just shut down after awhile and tune people out without realizing it. Not one for small talk. At all. 

It really does take effort and self coaching sometimes, even shadow work to a degree. I have to literally tell myself 'Put this down, give your family attention, put this away, put it away, put it down, give them attention, are you giving them attention, are you really listening to them?".

Hate to say this openly, but, there's days where I sometimes forget I have a son and a wife. Usually while I am on the job. It's an autopilot thing. We spend time together and what not, but, like I said, it's like being on an island sometimes. There's time. Then there's quality time. There's looking. Then there's seeing. There's listening. Then there's hearing. 

Break the cycle. A lot of us are out there trying to juggle 500 things at once, multitasking, worrying about being a good partner, a good father, a good brother, a good friend, a good son, a good husband, a good employee and then you have this whole other side of yourself that you're always working on whether it's shoring up a bad habit, working out, learning something new, taking care of the house, taking care of the jobs that need to be done, etc.

No shame in simply saying "I need help". Support is absolutely needed. It's a fundamental trait of being a human being. None of us got here on our own. What makes you think in the long run you can do it on your own? Hell, take a look around, the game is rigged and designed to punish you for that. Both, in nature and in society.

Trying to balance that all out? Literally balance it all out? It'll break you eventually.

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