Once that trust is broken, rebuilding it is nearly impossible.  I know people who have suffered through the infidelity of a spouse, and it took them several years to work through their issues, but they've come to a place where they are at least somewhat past it.  I don't think the husband will ever fully be over it, and the wife still has her guilt issues, but they've somehow managed to remain married, and to find a new path. 

 

I know people who have had an open marriage, and they made it seem like they could manage it, but after a few flings, one of them came to the conclusion that she wasn't exactly cool with the whole lifestyle.  He quickly fell in line, but it did change their marriage, and they ended up having to go through counseling in order to figure their issues out.  Today they're happily married, and they've found other uses for their hot tub than having a swap meet. 

 

Personally, my wife and I have been through many things in our long marriage, but the one thing neither one of us has ever dared to do is stray, emotionally or physically.  I consider her to be my closest friend, and most trusted confidant, and the feeling is mutual.  If either of us ever did something to breach that trust, I'm not sure we could survive.  But, we have a healthy enough respect for each other to assure that this will never happen.  Plus, my wife is Portuguese.  They hold grudges, and the tempers run hot.  Sleeping with one eye open is not one of my strong suits. 

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