Quote:Your life is all over the place right now. It's like you're in the middle of the ocean with no one around and you're looking to grab onto a lifesaver. You're just wanting something on someone to hang onto.


You're in no place to be dating online or otherwise. You're not even divorced yet. Believe me when I say this. You need to relax, get divorced, adjust to life after divorce, and start to move forward. Focus on your child. Become a single parent. Digest your loss. Then, after all of that, start looking to live life beyond divorce. You're rushing everything and trying to get past your heartache in a matter of weeks. It's ludicrous. You're not ready to move on but you trick yourself into thinking you are.


How do I know? Because I've been there. I thought I was over my ex four months after we were divorced. I was flat out wrong. It took me over two years to truly get past what I had been through. That was ten years ago and now I can look back and truly see that it took a good two years to get over my divorce.


Stop trying to avoid your pain by trying to moving past it too quickly. Take it head on, absorb it. It'll be more painful but it'll help you get though it more quickly. You shouldn't be dating online or in any other fashion for that matter. Be a dad. Be a man.


You won't like this post but two years from now, you'll read it and say wow, he was right. Hendershot's a frickin' genius.

 

I can see where you are coming from. But I'm a total weirdo. My viewpoint on things like this or life is that I tend to never do what the "norm" is. For example, we still live together and we get along fine. Sometimes we enjoy each other's company even. But she has her lil' lady friend and I have a few girls that I'm talking to as well. I'm telling you, it's weird, absolutely NOT traditional in the sense of what a divorce should be like, but it works for us. In the past few weeks she's gone from my loving wife...........to my lesbian bestie who's also my wife for now. That about the best way to describe it when your significant other comes out to you and says they're gay. 

 

I can't hate her or be mad at her. She saved me. I was quickly going down a deep and dark path as a teenager, doing some really dumb things, and she was there to pull me out. I owe a lot of where we are today because of her. Honestly, if I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing knowing what I know now. Because for me, it's another chapter finished in my book of life. If I had a bucket list "being married to a lesbian" is a helluva challenge, but one I can scratch off. 

 

We told the kid the other night. He took it about like I did initially but has started his own little healing process as well. 

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