Three men at the Golf Clubhouse were desperately looking for another person to fill out their foursome since one member had decided to leave. He left because one of the group just grated him the wrong way. You see, one of the group is very competitive, and he holds the unofficial title of Speaker of The Group, and he won't allow just any schmuck like Rico to come in and ruin their good score. The other two tolerate Speaker since he's an old friend, and he will - on occasion - buy a round or two after a particularly good day, but it's a tense situation.

 

To that end, in walks NYC4jags and he asks if he can join their group as he's new in town and has no one to play with. By default it would seem, Speaker lays down the group's expectations and explain to NYC that if his game is not up to par, or if he makes them miss a tee time, he will be summarily dismissed and mean words will be written about him on the internet! Speaker will tolerate no guff nor poppycock when it comes to his golf!

 

NYC graciously agrees to their rules but makes a curious question and follow on qualifier. He asks "What time will we start?" Speaker states gruffly "We start every Saturday and Sunday morning, right here, 7:00 sharp!"

 

"Hmmm" says NYC, "that works, but I may be ten to 15 minutes late depending on the day."

 

"Hey! The start time is 7:00! You be here, and you be ready!" Says Speaker, trying to channel his inner Vince Lombardi that really just makes him come across as old, and crotchety, but whatever.

 

So Saturday at 7:00 sharp, NYC turns the corner in the clubhouse and the new foursome takes the Links. NYC starts off and smashes his first drive. In fact, he smashes the entire course. Drives, chips, putts, everything is on point and he is the easy leader. The remainder of the foursome are very pleased with their new addition but the Speaker will not be so easily swayed. He gives a compliment sparingly and asks if he plans on showing up tomorrow.

 

Unfazed, NYC states, with a smirk on his face "I'll see you guys tomorrow morning at 7:00 sharp, but I just may be ten to 15 minutes late."

 

"Hey, you did real good today, but if you make us late tomorrow, you're out! I know how you young guys don't like getting up early like us real men do." Now, the other two were willing to have some leniency towards the new guy, but they didn't say anything.

 

Sunday morning, 7:00, same routine. NYC is on time, and he's on point. Only thing is, he does everything left handed. This is so curious that one of the other three approaches him and asks "didn't you play yesterday with your right hand?"

 

"Sure did" replies NYC, "but today I'm going Lefty." He continues to dominate the course and the field. Just an unreal performance and the other three can't believe their luck. Even Speaker has warmed to NYC for he again was the group leader and posted the best score of the day!

 

After two to seven Gin and Tonics, Speaker asks NYC about his ambidextrous ability. "Well" he says "I find that when I wake up in morning, if my wife is laying on her right side then I use my right hand that day for golf. If she's on her left side, then I shoot left handed. It's never let me down."

 

"Hmm" says Speaker "but what if she's laying on her back when you get up? Do you just make the choice yourself?"

 

"Nope!" he replies "Remember when I asked what time the tee time is?"

 

"Yesssss" says Speaker with a little doubt in his voice. "Why?"

 

"Well, when I wake up and she's on her back, that's when I'll be ten to 15 minutes late."

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