Quote:I hear you. It only further makes the job in the classroom that much more difficult. Try getting a hold of some of these parents on the phone to set up a conference, talk about grades, behavior etc., and it is next to impossible. Never a returned phone call or email. There is little to no care among some at home. When that is the case, the teacher's job difficulty level is ramped up a ton.

 

I am a firm believer that the many issues facing our country today could be greatly benefitted by parents caring for their kids, and raising their kids in a two parent home. Being taught morals, right and wrong, etc.

 

The first part, I agree with.  But it's certainly not a symptom of single parent homes.


A lot of the parents my wife has had trouble contacting were still married.  While some of the single mother's she's tried to get a hold of were the ones most eager to work with her.  Of course that's not all of them.  There have been single parents who didn't get involved when she tried calling them.  Just as there were many married parents who were too busy with their jobs who didn't get involved.  Or who simply didn't care.


I don't think it has much to do with morals either.  It's our culture and how little we value intelligence and education.  People consider teachers 'overpaid babysitters'  (My wife wants to know who pays their babysitter less than $2.00/hour per kid).  Anytime teachers want a raise, they're vilified as trying to take more of the taxpayers money.  People say they just want 'accountability' which would mean 'higher pay and lower job security' in theory, but actually means lower pay and lower job security.  I know anytime the school board up here asks for more money, they never get what they need.   There'll always be cuts made.  On the other hand when the pentagon has no need for jets, they'll gladly spend billions on them.  (Source: Heritage foundation)


You don't know how many times my wife has been asked "Why does my kid need to learn this?"  As a teacher it's her least favorite question.  She's recently started by asking in return "Why don't they need to?"  (as politely as possible)


Parents are certainly part of the problem.  Of course some of the reforms are part of the problem too.  We don't get teachers input on the reforms.  Sometimes the unions fail them there.  (Though some unions have recently stood against Common Core, despite initially supporting it)  Take for example things like 'social promotion'.  Where they say it's worse to hold a child back than it is to send them on to the next grade without adequately knowing what they should.  They just send them on to the next grade so they won't feel ostracized.  (This makes teachers jobs much harder).  They don't so much think social promotion is good, as much as they think holding students back is bad.  Most teachers oppose social promotion, but of course no reason to listen to them.


You have two types of problem parents:


The Type that doesn't care.  Doesn't really matter if it's a single or double parent home.  It can be for a variety of reasons.  They don't have time to get involved because of their job.  Some just want to get their kids out of their house as fast as they possibly can.  Their eighteenth birthday comes, and their present is a one way ticket to whatever apartment they can afford.  They have no interest in their child's education.  They see parents as babysitters who take care of their kids for 180 days of the year.  I remember my wife telling me about a student who BEGGED her parents to let her stay at home while she finished high school.  She said it nearly broke her heart to see it.  


The type that thinks their child can do no wrong.  It used to be when a student was doing bad in school, the parents looked to their kids to see what they were doing wrong.  Now they look to the teacher instead.  To illustrate my point, here's a political cartoon:




The responsibility has shifted from kids to teachers.  Now some teachers aren't doing their jobs.  You'll find that in every profession.  They seem to be the only ones you ever hear about on the news, except for when there's a school shooting and you hear about how a teacher protected their students to the best of their ability.  (Much like with cops) You rarely hear about the good teachers in the news.  You only hear about the ones that slept with their students.  You don't hear about the ones that spend their own money on supplies, probably because the stories are extremely common.  They'd be reporting it every day.  Kids have a responsibility too.  As do parents to make sure that their kids are doing their work.  My parents made me do my homework.  It's certainly not something exclusive to two parent homes.  I have two friends who grew up with single mothers, and they both made their kids do their homework.  I remember my wife who had a student who's parents were divorced, and one of them was easy to work with while the other was difficult (The student had a lot of absences, but was otherwise a good student).  Some people wouldn't make good parents even if they had a partner.  


You also have parents who think they're right, and the teacher's wrong no matter what.   The ones who think their kids deserve A's for their work.  And a lot of time principal's will take the side of parents over their teachers when it goes that far (and sometimes it does go that far).  Of course it depends on the principal too.


Ultimately our culture has changed.  But I don't think it's the acceptance of single parent homes.  (Some of them aren't even single parents by choice) or anything like that.  It's the devaluing of education by so many parents.  And even some kids.  I mean being top of the class tends to get you picked on in school.  it's something that should be revered.  


Just look at higher education.


You can throw a basketball through a hoop?  We'll pay for your education!  Full ride.  (At least as long as you can still play, and you'll have to take some junk courses so we don't have to actually educate you.  But if you can throw a basketball through a hoop?  You'll make us a lot of money!  Err... I mean, we'll make you a lot of money.  Yeah.  That's what I meant."


You're really smart?  Well, you might qualify for some assistance.  Take out some loans, and then pay our high tuition rates.  Too bad you can't use a real skill like basketball.  


I'm not saying that it's bad that basketball players get scholarships (or football players, or the such).  It's perfectly fine.  But we should be valuing just as much the ones who are smart.  And those basketball players should be getting real educations, not taking junk courses or having someone else do their work for them. 

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