Quote:Perhaps there is confusion.  In a gay marriage, is there a "husband and wife"?  Serious question.

 

I worked with a lesbian that I would consider to be clearly the "husband" in that relationship.  She was more masculine than some of the guys that worked there.  She had short hair (almost like a crew cut), wore more masculine attire and her actions were more like that of a male.  Her partner on the other hand was clearly more feminine.  She is a very pretty girl, wears makeup, wears dresses/skirts (and is actually kind of hot).  Would she not be considered to be a "wife"?

 

Another example that I'll share is my brother.  Though he sometimes acts a bit like what I would call feminine, he dresses like any modern businessman would dress, that being conservative suits and ties for work, and casual men's dress in social situations.  His partner acts quite a bit more feminine, and wears dresses more like what most heterosexual men would call "gay".  I guess my point is, you wouldn't really know that my brother is gay, but his partner leaves no question in your mind.  So wouldn't you consider my brother to be the "husband" and his partner to be the "wife" in that relationship?

 

Once again, this is a serious question, not meant to be offensive in any way.

It varies by relationship.  Some people use the term partner.  One of my best friends (she's almost like a sister to me) and her wife call each other "Wife".  My friend actually doesn't like the term 'partner' because partner can be totally platonic.  Our friends are pretty feminine, but they're also the type who'd never use gender roles to determine who did what in a relationship.  They consider themselves equals much like my wife and I consider each other equals (Well I consider her my better half, but we're still equal all things considered)  

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