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**flsprtsgod** · 09-03-2015, 01:50 PM

***WARNING - LONG LIST AHEAD***





Thomas H Crown on Twitter recently: https://twitter.com/ThomasHCrown

So Mitch McConnell can be Majority Leader and help the Democrats to victory.
So John Boehner can fund President Obama’s usurpation of power.
So Planned Parenthood can continue using tax dollars to butcher the unborn and sell their parts for profit.
So Fortune 100 Companies can be shielded from the free market.
So yet another Clinton or Bush or whatever can be President.
So Supreme Court rulings that clearly exceed any possible basis in the Constitution can be quietly accepted.
So that we continue to turn perfectly useful corn into energy-inefficient and starvation-causing ethanol.
So the regulatory state will continue to grow without even pausing.
So Christians can be forced to materially cooperate with evil as long as Wal-Mart is happy.
So my children can be forced to learn how all the heroes of the twentieth century were Democrats.
So sugar subsidies can increase.
So every bank about the community bank size is too big to fail.
So every major investment firm is protected from any downside risk to gambling with shareholder money.
So that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac may live forever.
So that Iran will be in a position to destroy Israel utterly within a handful of years.
So that China will have de facto hegemonic control over East Asia. Or a war. Whatever.
So that the world’s democracies will know we’re just around the corner, where we’re damned well staying.
So that our immigration laws are merely code for “whatever the Chamber of Commerce wants.”
So that we get another minimum wage hike.
So conservative Republicans can be called racists basically whenever.
So that John McCain will be a Senator until 2136.
So that our drug testing regime will be the envy of Togo, assuming Togo is nuked.
So that my kids will be forced to learn math with more steps and in a harder way than they would have in 1963.
So that one million children, give or take, will be aborted per year, and I’ll learn about it in fundraising letters.
So that Ukraine will become a Russian province. Again.
So that we can all be embarrassed about using the phrase “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance.
So the Federal Courts become our de facto ruling class.
So the President becomes the Princeps.
So that I can live in fear of the IRS even though I pay my taxes.
So that Christians in their most ancient communities in the Middle East will be wiped from the Earth.
So the powerful can break the law with impunity.
So we can have Meaningful Hearings About Important Things and then get fundraising letters.
So that Congress will abandon its historic right to control the purse.
So that the “advise and consent” function of the Senate becomes the “yeah whatever” function.
So that we can elect more Republicans in order to elect more Republicans in an endless loop.
So that Mitch McConnell can have a bigger majority with which to do nothing.
So that John Boehner can overcome a filibuster.
So we can pretend history didn’t happen.
So we can chair the Appropriations Committee.
So we can gerrymander.
So my children can grow up in a world in which being born in the wrong class matters.
So we can have an imperial capital on the Potomac.
Because the Democrats are indistinguishable most days.
So I can hear about the moral travesty of abortion while those elected to end it treat it as an annoying distraction.
So that carried interest remains taxed at the lowest rate possible, by God.
So that internet sales are taxed.
So that the corporate tax rate is lowered for 4% of all corporations.
So American citizenship remains infinitely valuable while we give its privileges away to those who break our laws.
So we can enshrine every policy decision by every Democratic President to date.
So Hillary Clinton will be the next President. Or Bernie Sanders. Or maybe Colonel Sanders.
So that Hamas has its own little statelet to terrorize and brainwash.
So that following the rules is for chumps.
So that I can see grown men run screaming from cutting a fraction of one percent of the Federal budget.
So that I can watch Failure Theater for the rest of my life.
So establishment politicians who leave the Party are funded against the Party’s nominee and welcomed back to the fold.
So we can all be ashamed of American history.
So this just becomes a distraction from important stuff like protecting Ex-Im.
So all of our important matters of governance can be outsourced to unelected bureaucrats and judges.
So that our Constitution is only as meaningful as nine unelected lawyers want it to be.
So there are no checks on the Executive’s power.
So the President is never impeached for violating our laws because that might hurt our Senate seat in Florida.
So Anthony Kennedy is the Social Policy Minister for the entire country.
So we can have even more Supreme Court justices just like John Roberts.
So we can waste all of our capital propping up failed corporations and unions forever.
So no union member will ever be denied a full, taxpayer-funded, 150% of salary retirement.
So no large corporation dies.
So that the Speaker of the House can be a shield for a company that traffics in baby parts.
So that We Are Always Doing Something.
So that our entire economy turns on making sure large financial institutions remain insolvent but alive.
So the EPA can be a permanent brake on our economy.
So Archer-Daniels Midland never wants for subsidies.
So the people who follow the law in coming to our country can be spat upon.
So we can have a permanent class of helots.
So the children of migrant workers will remain an underclass.
So the Federal Government will control more and more of our lives.
So my children can be told that accurate descriptions of another human being are hateful.
So that no copyright held by a major media company will ever expire.
So we can turn to important matters, like NCAA scandals.
So our patent system can go off the rails.
So I can be ruled by people who only care that they get re-elected and get their payoff after.
So we can debate sensible limits on the rights shielded from the government by the Constitution.
So the Army Corps of Engineers remains a boondoggle.
So no entitlement will ever be in danger of even being means-tested.
So that big business always has an ally or two against smaller business.
So that the Code of Federal Regulations will soon completely fill the National Archives.
So that we fund NPR.
So that we fund PBS.
So that we fund the NEA.
So that we fund the Department of Education.
So that we drive up the cost of college tuition forever.
So that lawyers remain our de facto mandarins.
So they can lecture us on bigotry and hatred for being upset about Americans being killed by foreigners.
So that my tax dollars can be spent on abortions and corporate welfare.
So that the Senate will remain open to regulate and tax us.
So that Christians can be forced to materially cooperate with evil.
So that President Obama’s agenda can be enacted.
So that Obamacare is fully funded.
So that Obamacare is expanded.
So that we can save Democrats the trouble of a filibuster.
So that energy prices go up.
So it becomes more expensive to access and use the financial system.
So my country will spend more time rummaging through my life than that of any terrorist.
So Catholic hospitals will be required to provide emergency contraception and abortion.
So religious liberty can be treated as a distraction from pork-barrel politics.
So tax cuts can be scored as costs to the government.
So we can all just wait on Russia to voluntarily stop picking on its former satellites.
So every East Asian ally other than Japan learns to fall in line with China.
So international free trade deals die aborning.
So sentencing reform can be a back-burner issue while ethanol subsidies remain up front.
So everyone on Team Clinton who conspired to break Federal law can skip even the inconvenience of an indictment.
So I vote Republican. #WhyIVoteRepublican

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato