Quote:Just wanted to thank you for sharing this, it takes courage to be this honest. And it takes alot mental strength to look into yourself and truly understand your weaknesses.

 

Thanks. Sometimes I wonder if I overshare but then I say, screw it. I believe the experiences we have are meant to help others we come across who are in similar situations. So I share my stories hoping it will help someone. It actually took me until this year to say out loud that I would have been an abusive parent. I always knew it and would say it, but not straight up. 



Parenting is the dag gum diddly-um hardest thing I've ever done. It's not something that's for everyone.

 

It is not and I wish more people would recognize this. I have been judged harshly for my decisions but I know I made the right ones. Society, especially the South, needs to stop making women feel like their sole purpose in life is to reproduce. 



You seem like a good person, as far as I can tell from my internet vantage point...

 

Well, I suppose I am. We all have good and bad in us I'm just able to be honest about all of it, not just the good. I've lived a life that has given me the ability to have a broad view of a lot of things and none of it was easy but at times was fascinating. It made me able to empathize with a wide range of people in ways most can't. Sadly it also has made me hard in other ways, but I'm a work in progress as we all are. I have a form of PTSD from specific life events so I tend to have serious knee-jerk reactions and speak, or write, before I think things through when it comes to certain subjects, some of which have been discussed on this board. I still have my anger issues but as I said in my original post I stay away from 'triggers' if at all possible, and time and age has mellowed me some. Sadly, if triggered by the wrong thing I would definitely have a problem and it does happen from time to time. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who is patient and if I punch a hole in the wall we know how to patch drywall. Exercise is also a wonderful outlet. 



If you don't mind me asking, about how long into the pregnancy did you make your decision?

 

I didn't know I was pregnant until after the 3 month mark but as soon as I knew I was thinking abortion. I'd say around 5 months or so he convinced me to change my mind. Also at that point it's pretty much not an option in my opinion.