We need to end whatever experiment that makes this team the definition of pathetic. Year in and year out we suck. Not just a little suck, we shatter the mold and redefine it in terms that was heretofore regarded as unattainable. We are a thesaurus entry for the word suck. Physicists use our team logo as a mathematical symbol for absolute vacuum. Our suck force is of such magnitude that Cuba is actually getting closer to Florida. Lampreys envy us. There's rumor that Hoover is paying for bootleg copies of our playbook. What's worse is sometimes we don't suck so bad but have no idea why. We do know that our baseline is suck and we will return there at any given time. Suck is calling, we must answer.

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