Story

 

"In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.
 
Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”
 
“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.
 
The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”"
 

The best part.....

 

"Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”"  :teehee:

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