How Gus keeps his job in 8 easy steps.

 

1. At 9.00pm all the QBs are taken ill after eating bad wings at a strip joint somewhere in Alaska.

 

2. At 10.00pm all the WRs and RBs have their legs broken by triads after Allen Hurns loses the last double or quits game of mahjong in a seedy Hong Kong gambling den.

 

3. At 11.00pm all the offensive line is busted for injecting horse steroids directly into their eye balls.

 

4. At midnight all the defensive line climb into the polar bear enclosure at Copenhagen zoo for a royal rumble to settle their twitter beef. Senderek Mark's dreads are the only things to survive.

 

5. At 1.00am the linebackers suffer horrific injuries due to an exploding popcorn bag during the Harry Potter marathon at Dan Skuta's house.

 

6. At 2.00am Donald Trump quits as president elect to join a Tibetan monastic order and asks the all the DBs to become joint presidents in order to heal the nation's divides. Being patriots, they accept and immediately start work on a peace deal in the middle east.

 

7. At 3.00am the special teams guys get arrested and shipped to a secret location in the Gobi desert for being a suspected Isis cell after Brad Nortman's recent searches into ancient Egyptian gods causes confusion on the CIA's computers.

 

8. With a crack team assembled in less than 24 hours, Gus Bradley coaches the team to 8-8 and a wildcard spot where we lose a low scoring affair to the Steelers after a particularly bad PI call against me while I'm playing free safety.

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