Where he noticed, in what would later become a fateful observance, that bags of Quick Crete were on sale.

---

Though many theories exist, no one truly knows how a handful of the ill-fated Quik Crete found it's way into his morning oatmeal.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

HB quickly thought about constructing a concrete safe room to protect his daughter from the evil weird dragonfury.

---

But then HB remembered...Amsterdam. City of Dreams.

---

If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley


 

And so folks, our little tale is now going to go back to the very beginning, where it all started....

---

60% of the time, It works Everytime...



 

Sated by the legal prostitution and drugs of Amsterdam, homebiscuit's clouded mind struggled to find words to put on paper.

---

And thus ending his writing career...and starting his life as a legal prostitute to pay for his ever growing drug dependency issues.

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

And thus ending his writing career...and starting his life as a legal prostitute to pay for his ever growing drug dependency issues.

 

Gigolo. The word is gigolo.

---

After 2 weeks of no sleep and heavy drug use, HB decided it was time for him to try his luck in the traveling carnival, and thus his career as a clown was born.

---

60% of the time, It works Everytime...



 

Where he quickly caught the eye of the circus fat lady.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Huge Helda they called her. She was a stern lady of enormous girth and sold her breast sweat as fuel to farmers. She was born in the circus and it showed....

---

And into this illicit and most likely illegal tryst, a newcomer arrived...

---

I'm trying to make myself more informed and less opinionated.

Stop saying whatever stupid thing you're talking about and pay attention to all the interesting things I have to say!

...a huge, hulking, man known only as 'The Aardvark'.

---

Armed with an ancient Kirby vacuum and a dangerous obsession with Charlie the Ant, The Aardvark was never prepared for the twist that fate would soon send his way.

---

I'm trying to make myself more informed and less opinionated.

Stop saying whatever stupid thing you're talking about and pay attention to all the interesting things I have to say!

He knew anything can happen when you attend the Gathering of the Juggalos, but his body was ill-equipped for the sensory overload he would soon experience.

---

Only a chump boos the home team!

Meanwhile, Back in Portland Maine..........

---

Wants to join the "cereal box" dating service. I've dated enough flakes and nuts...all I want is the prize now.

There was a newborn baby rock lobster.

---

There was a newborn baby rock lobster.

The father of which was beginning to question his life choices after his wife gave birth to a baby rock lobster.

---

The father of which was beginning to question his life choices after his wife gave birth to a baby rock lobster.

 

Especially since neither father or mother were lobsters.

---

If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley


 

But there was a song about it, so maybe things would be okay.

---

I'm trying to make myself more informed and less opinionated.

Stop saying whatever stupid thing you're talking about and pay attention to all the interesting things I have to say!