If you find yourself riding a horse
and a giraffe is running beside you
and a lion is chasing you.
What do you do?

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Put your beer down, and get off the merry-go-round.

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I'm gonna like this thread lolol

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Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive in?


He saw Closed For Winter..

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To the person that stole my antidepressants ... I hope you're happy now.

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A Dad bought his son some Harley Davidson underwear..... now he can say he sits on a Harley........

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'Did your hear about the new restaurant on the Moon?'

'No, how is it?'

'Good food, great service, but absolutely no atmosphere.'

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"Remember Red, Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies."  - Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption

I work in a garage, some days I get home and im really tire-d other days im exhaust-ed

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I once had a job as a scarecrow at a farm.  They fired me.  I don’t understand. I got compliments from the boss saying I was out-standing in my field.

Use to have another job at the recycling plant.  My job was to crush the soda cans.  I had to leave because it was soda-pressing.

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3.14% of sailors are pi-rates

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3.14% of sailors are pi-rates

100% are (I’ll spell it…) Seaman.

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3.14% of sailors are pi-rates

100% are (I’ll spell it…) Seaman.

Come on, now.

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100% are (I’ll spell it…) Seaman.

Come on, now.

Quiet Riot said that's not how you spell it..

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When 2 vegans get into an argument, do you still call it a beef?

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.


Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon, I’ll let you know.

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100% are (I’ll spell it…) Seaman.

Come on, now.

This reminds me, I was playing a game online (COD SnD) .  A game where mom jokes, slurs and any other high school no brained “insult” gets thrown out.  The opposing team won a few rounds after losing the first 3 and one of them said “I smell a come back”.  I couldn’t resist and chimed in, “I bet you smell a lot of that on your back”.

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How much do I like tacos?

From my head tomatoes..

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A woman once said to me, You look really old...........

I replied, maan, you look so old you were a waitress at the last supper..........

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A woman once said to me, You look really old...........

I replied, maan, you look so old you were a waitress at the last supper..........

Some lady snapped at me that she wasn't old......

I snapped back and said, Lady, you were a waitress at The Last Supper..........

Come on Drifter, you can do better than this lolol

Contrary to what some people have said, some people do read your posts lol

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You owe us a new one..

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A woman once said to me, You look really old...........

I replied, maan, you look so old you were a waitress at the last supper..........

Some lady snapped at me that she wasn't old......

I snapped back and said, Lady, you were a waitress at The Last Supper..........

Come on Drifter, you can do better than this lolol

Contrary to what some people have said, some people do read your posts lol

Please forgive.... the stress of getting ready for the holidaze has me short minded lately...... lack of sleep, 10,000 thiungs to do as well as running to Dr's appointments and such.......Then trying to find time to go to the Tavern so I can relax.... not happening right now......

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If you watch someone break in the Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?

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