(09-13-2021, 07:03 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote: She most likely didn't want to make the call herself so she put it on you to do it. She probably didn't know what to say either. I'm really bad with dealing with people in mourning or dealing with cancer or whatever. I don't know what to say and what I do say will likely sound cold and indifferent. I send cards to people to avoid this dilemma. If immediate action is needed I text.

Yes, this sounds like me.  I’ve never had to deal with that.  I come from a small family and my parents have long outlasted their parents.  I haven’t had to deal with death in the family.  And when I did, I was 14 and thought “well, that’s what happens to old people”. And that was grandma that lived in our house. The one and only grandparent I knew.   And I’m fairly certain she didn’t like me.

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(09-13-2021, 07:21 PM)Bchbunnie4 Wrote:

(09-13-2021, 05:55 PM)Jags Wrote: Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

Correct.  As it turns out.  She did call. She left a VM.  But I found that out after my rant.  And she is the one I turn to for the tough answers. I’m not good in those situations.  So I was like [BLEEP]?  I’ll be honest, she told me this morning, but work happened.  I didn’t think about it one bit during the day or even after I got off work.

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(09-13-2021, 07:12 PM)homebiscuit Wrote:

(09-13-2021, 05:55 PM)Jags Wrote: Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

Um, when do you think you can make it back to work? 

That would have gone over like a turd in the punch bowl.

Your first question would be my first thought, not gonna lie.  But I do understand that’s not what one should say or ask.  It’s sad work has gotten that bad for me to think like that. Luckily, that’s not the case.  Maybe I say to my BIL, whew!  At least it was t my employee!   We dodged a bullet there, eh!?  I kid, but a lot of truth is said in jest.  I’m not the most empathetic or is it sympathetic? I’ve got weird genes.

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