(09-13-2021, 05:55 PM)Jags Wrote: Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

@Welcome to wedlock, bask in your wrongness.@

I think it really comes down to how well you and your BiL get along. If you spend weekends doing projects and enjoying cold ones or have season tix near each other, than yeah, as soon as I hear news of his dad's passing, I'd call if only to see if he needs a hand with anything while sorting through the arrangements, or wants to borrow my ear and unload. Otherwise, this may be more a case of your wife hoping you'd do the heavy lifting on this one. She may be hurting for him, or be subject to expectations from the extended family. (Hoo doggie is wifey's fambly terrible about that last bit)

My wife has one sister, and I've never met BiL's dad. BiL is a human [BLEEP], though, so I'd be in more trouble if I expressed empathy over his loss were I in your shoes 

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(09-13-2021, 07:21 PM)Bchbunnie4 Wrote:

(09-13-2021, 05:55 PM)Jags Wrote: Well, I just got in trouble with the wife.  Still scratching my head.  She tells me my(really her) BIL’s dad past away.  Tells me that this morning.  My our/mostly her, BIL is awesome.  His dad…I’ve met like 5 times.  The last time he actually spoke to me.  She comes home asking if I called my BIL.  Uh no, why?  Because his dad died!  …oh yeah, I forgot.  Can I text him?  She’s pissed says no, I’ll do it.  You’ll text him? I can do it if you want. No you need to call! So…you didn’t call either???? Why am I an [BLEEP] then?  Then to appease my darling wife I tell her I’ll call.  But, what do I say?  She [BLEEP] and asks what I’d say if my most tenured employee’s mom died, what would I say to him.  I said “I dunno,  I’d probably ask you what to say”. Then she goes off on my “cold” family that has no feeling or emotion.  Guess I’ll just finish my beer and let her handle it and get ready for another day. 

I know I’m probably wrong here.  But that’s because people tell me that. I don’t actually know it in my head.  So whatever?

So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

The great compromise: Offer to make the call on speaker as a couple.

In thinking about this, I have realized I do not have SiL's nor her husband's numbers in my phone. I GOT ME AN ALIBI!! WOOOOOO!

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