(09-13-2021, 07:21 PM)Jags Wrote:

(09-13-2021, 07:03 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote: She most likely didn't want to make the call herself so she put it on you to do it. She probably didn't know what to say either. I'm really bad with dealing with people in mourning or dealing with cancer or whatever. I don't know what to say and what I do say will likely sound cold and indifferent. I send cards to people to avoid this dilemma. If immediate action is needed I text.

Yes, this sounds like me.  I’ve never had to deal with that.  I come from a small family and my parents have long outlasted their parents.  I haven’t had to deal with death in the family.  And when I did, I was 14 and thought “well, that’s what happens to old people”. And that was grandma that lived in our house. The one and only grandparent I knew.   And I’m fairly certain she didn’t like me.

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(09-13-2021, 07:21 PM)Bchbunnie4 Wrote: So her sisters husbands father passed away and she’s mad at you for not calling? And she hadn’t called either? That sounds like a call she should be making herself.

Correct.  As it turns out.  She did call. She left a VM.  But I found that out after my rant.  And she is the one I turn to for the tough answers. I’m not good in those situations.  So I was like [BLEEP]?  I’ll be honest, she told me this morning, but work happened.  I didn’t think about it one bit during the day or even after I got off work.

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(09-13-2021, 07:12 PM)homebiscuit Wrote: Um, when do you think you can make it back to work? 

That would have gone over like a turd in the punch bowl.

Your first question would be my first thought, not gonna lie.  But I do understand that’s not what one should say or ask.  It’s sad work has gotten that bad for me to think like that. Luckily, that’s not the case.  Maybe I say to my BIL, whew!  At least it was t my employee!   We dodged a bullet there, eh!?  I kid, but a lot of truth is said in jest.  I’m not the most empathetic or is it sympathetic? I’ve got weird genes.

protip: Tonight during dinner, "I'm sorry I didn't make the call. Have you heard back from BiL? Does the family need anything that we can help with?" will get you back in good graces.

@Then ask if she can take care of the dishes tonight, you're tired after staying up to watch MNF and work was rough, that way you return to familiar territory@

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