(10-03-2021, 03:14 AM)The Drifter Wrote:

(10-02-2021, 10:59 PM)americus 2.0 Wrote: I feel ya. Truly. Time has a way of making you see things in ways you never thought you would and it's something you don't realize until you have some time behind you. 

9/11 hit me harder this year than any previous except for the day of the event. Twenty years is a lot of life and a lot of change in life, especially mine. Things to remember and forget, people to mourn, friendships and a marriage lost, a whole generation of kids who never knew their parent/aunt/uncle/sister/etc., lost on that day or because of that day. My life now is a complete 180 from what it was then. A lot to think about.

Americus.... I just get philosophical and deep in thought late at night at times. What triggered this was, a good friend of mine was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. He didn't tell me what stage it is and I'm not sure that either he, or his Oncologist knows just yet. Right now, he and his Doctor are exploring all the options and treatments available to him. My Father fought it for 20+ years before it finally got him so I know what to expect when it comes to my friend. I just hope he has the same fight in him that my Father had. I've seen my Grandmother, My Father, and my Mother waste away because of cancer, it is not pretty to say the least. I've lost too many friends and family members over the years, some as young as 19. I hate to say this but, maybe I'm just dead inside emotionally because I find each time someone passes, it's a little easier to take. in the last 40 years, I've been exposed to death a little too much I think, maybe that's why I'm desensitized to it.... I don't want to think of myself as a hard [BLEEP] because I still feel a lot of things to the very depth of my soul. It's just that death is a natural part of life, I know that but..... Still, accepting it, and dealing with it, well, each person has their own way to do it. Yeah, I'll admit, I went to my Grandfathers grave on the 20th anniversary of his passing, I Immediately broke down it tears. I wasn't at his funeral because I was constantly at the hospital for weeks and saw how he was suffering, and I on the run from the law at the time (Back Child Support) and skipped town. Between those two things, I feel that I never had the chance to really let my emotions show and it all just came out at once so..... I guess I still have a great deal  of left over emotions to deal with..... Just hope I don't go crazy dealing with them.....