Quote:In reality, you shouldn't be cruising dating sites at this point, but that's just me. Your child is going to be the one suffering as the parents are both off focusing on their needs first. Awfully selfish if you ask me.
That's unfair.
One of the factors you get with sharing custody is a bunch more free evenings where you would have previously been looking after kids. As long as he isn't blowing off time with the kids to go on dates and he isn't introducing the child to a new mommy every few weeks it shouldn't affect the child at all.
Anyone suggest farmers only or black people meet.com yet?
Quote:That's unfair.
One of the factors you get with sharing custody is a bunch more free evenings where you would have previously been looking after kids. As long as he isn't blowing off time with the kids to go on dates and he isn't introducing the child to a new mommy every few weeks it shouldn't affect the child at all.
At this point they are still living as a couple as far as the kid knows I think. So mommy and daddy going out on dates all the time probably isn't something he's expecting!
Fwb has always worked for me. I will eventually settle down though.
Quote:At this point they are still living as a couple as far as the kid knows I think. So mommy and daddy going out on dates all the time probably isn't something he's expecting!
I haven't read the background, I don't know their arrangements.
The point is, what will mess a kid up is disruption to whatever routine they have. If daddy starts blowing off their weekends together or mommy starts bringing a new man home every month, that's a problem.
If daddy goes out one or two nights a week to see 'a buddy', or mommy 'goes and visits Aunty Maude in Idaho' for the weekend, the how does that hurt? I assume they aren't saying 'Hey junior, daddy is meeting a fine piece of [BLEEP] tonight, don't wait up.'
Quote:Are you a parent?
Yes. If we are playing family experiences bingo, I was also a child who has witnessed two parental divorces.
Quote:I haven't read the background, I don't know their arrangements.
The point is, what will mess a kid up is disruption to whatever routine they have. If daddy starts blowing off their weekends together or mommy starts bringing a new man home every month, that's a problem.
If daddy goes out one or two nights a week to see 'a buddy', or mommy 'goes and visits Aunty Maude in Idaho' for the weekend, the how does that hurt? I assume they aren't saying 'Hey junior, daddy is meeting a fine piece of [BAD WORD REMOVED] tonight, don't wait up.'
Right now their arrangement is that they are still both living at home together, with the child. All of this is all went down within the past week or so....
Quote:Yes. If we are playing family experiences bingo, I was also a child who has witnessed two parental divorces.
If you're a parent and a child of divorce, then you understand the need to create as stable an environment for the child as you possibly can during and after a divorce. The child comes first in all aspects. When mom is off having her aerobic experience with her girlfriend, and dad is cruising dating sites while they're still living under the same roof, parents aren't focusing their attention where it needs to be focused because they're too busy thinking about themselves. If you have all of this vast experience, you should recognize that fact.
I need to get this straight, you went from being in love and being upset that your friends never asked you to hang out.... to your wife going to workout. She then starts hanging out with a woman and in a week she's a lesbian. Now we're already looking at internet sites for dates?
You move a lot quicker than I ever would.
Quote:I need to get this straight, you went from being in love and being upset that your friends never asked you to hang out.... to your wife going to workout. She then starts hanging out with a woman and in a week she's a lesbian. Now we're already looking at internet sites for dates?
You move a lot quicker than I ever would.
Exactly. And that's just a week or two. At this rate, give him another month and he'll be making wedding plans because his new girlfriend is pregnant with twins.
Quote:Exactly. And that's just a week or two. At this rate, give him another month and he'll be making wedding plans because his new girlfriend is pregnant with twins.
I just caught up on the "Friends" thread too...everyone handles things differently, but less than two weeks ago BigJag was in love and happy and had amazing communication...since that time she cheated on you and is a lesbian. Nowhere in there she said she was interested in women, just like that she is a lesbian?
BigJag, I know you keep saying you are 100% honest, but either you are lying to us or you are lying to yourself about things in the past/present. There had to be some sort of signs out there from her or you are shamming us.
I'm not trying to be a jerk, its just the way it comes off on a message board.
I have a dating site I use on occasion. Its motto is "Decent folks just don't get it."
Quote:I have a dating site I use on occasion. Its motto is "Decent folks just don't get it."
I have one...its called Catfish.date-me.com
Quote:I have a dating site I use on occasion. Its motto is "Decent folks just don't get it."
I believe that's called Craigslist.
Quote:I believe that's called Craigslist.
All I know is I have to disable my antivirus program to access it.
Quote:All I know is I have to disable my antivirus program to access it.
You should do that with your computer too.
Quote:If you're a parent and a child of divorce, then you understand the need to create as stable an environment for the child as you possibly can during and after a divorce. The child comes first in all aspects. When mom is off having her aerobic experience with her girlfriend, and dad is cruising dating sites while they're still living under the same roof, parents aren't focusing their attention where it needs to be focused because they're too busy thinking about themselves. If you have all of this vast experience, you should recognize that fact.
Do you have kids? I'm sure you I've read you say you do. So you should know that being a human being with your own interests and desires doesn't go away as soon as a kid is born.
You are confusing focus and priority. The kid is the priority. Every decision that gets made by most parents is with the kid as the priority. From what you eat to where you live and work to when you can go to the can. That doesn't mean life stops or that its wrong to put your energies or focus into other things sometimes when time allows, it just means there is less time in the day for anything that isn't about someone else.
I like Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones isn't suitable for kids, so I watch it when my daughter isn't around. If for whatever reason she is in need of my focus I won't watch it.
Going on a dating website when the kid isn't around is not that different. As long as Jr isn't sat on daddies knee scouring craigslist and new women don't keep appearing at the dinner table, the kid's situation is unchanged. Kids go to bed, kids go to school, kids don't come with you to work. Depending on the childs age, there is usually quite a bit of time in the day when you will not be directly watching over the child. Go on dating websites and or dates when the kid has gone to bed isn't going to cause any more waves than have already been caused by the parents splitting.
Quote:Do you have kids? I'm sure you I've read you say you do. So you should know that being a human being with your own interests and desires doesn't go away as soon as a kid is born.
You are confusing focus and priority. The kid is the priority. Every decision that gets made by most parents is with the kid as the priority. From what you eat to where you live and work to when you can go to the can. That doesn't mean life stops or that its wrong to put your energies or focus into other things sometimes when time allows, it just means there is less time in the day for anything that isn't about someone else.
I like Game of Thrones. Game of Thrones isn't suitable for kids, so I watch it when my daughter isn't around. If for whatever reason she is in need of my focus I won't watch it.
Going on a dating website when the kid isn't around is not that different. As long as Jr isn't sat on daddies knee scouring craigslist and new women don't keep appearing at the dinner table, the kid's situation is unchanged. Kids go to bed, kids go to school, kids don't come with you to work. Depending on the childs age, there is usually quite a bit of time in the day when you will not be directly watching over the child. Go on dating websites and or dates when the kid has gone to bed isn't going to cause any more waves than have already been caused by the parents splitting.
I think in this case its different because he says she left him for another woman, what...a week ago?
It's too fresh right now to be even thinking about that personally, especially while the wife is still living in the house. There is too much going on to even think about dating sites for himself, or the kid. 100% of his free time and effort should be given to the kid right now.