Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Forums

Quote:That's not fair.

 

What if I said that I "didn't believe for a second" your "alleged" current illness?  Would that be right?  Would that be fair?  Of course not.

Their are huge differences in the two situations. My situation was announced by another poster here. Yes, I update it from time to time. Never once have I used it to influence other posters. You can't say the same for her/him whoever it is. As I said in a previous post, you can't expect hundreds of people to change to accommodate the fragile feelings of one member. One, that I might add treats others inappropriately on a regular basis, then uses a disability to absolve all responsibility for doing so.


My illness affects one person here. Me. I already know how I am going to die. I just don't know when. You dont see me trying to tell others how to act on account of that. I don't have the right to do that. If my disability means hundreds of others have to limit their free thoughts, then I don't belong here. That is no different for anyone here.


I, of all people, understand illness. I am a year two stage four cancer patient with a six percent chance to live five years. That's nobody's problem but mine. Don't look for me to try to change anyone else here on account of me.


There add no similarities between the two of us.

Quote:I remember that. Before your username change you said I am your favorite poster.


Calling my favorite team Ohio instead of Ohio State in the CFP Final Four thread was interpreted as a lie. So was "This season is over," before January 2. You have known me way too long to not understand that. I know you are not a bad person but simply saying you did not mean it literally is not good enough for someone with AS. The disorder makes people demand the actual meaning in an understandable way.


I did send you a PM weeks ago and you never replied.

I thought I said Ohio State.


You can't expect people to explain things like that. That's not realistic to me. I tried. I made it pretty obvious and clear what I meant. I'm not a doctor and can't be expected to explain everything numerous times so that you can try to understand it. I did attempt it.


I did reply to your message once. I didn't reply the 2nd time.

This thread escalated quickly.

Quote:I know what most people think of me on here. They think I lie about being disabled. Or they think I deserve to be treated like crap because of my disabilities. This could not be further from the truth.

 

I will do whatever it takes to make sure every single person who thinks I am just a mean liar, stupid, or whatever will accept the proven fact that he or she is dead wrong if I can do it without getting a warning.

 

The truth is nobody on the planet or in space has any reason or right to do anything bad to a disabled woman, even if she is mean to them, especially if her behavior is caused by a disability.

 

I will gladly post all of the information people need about my disabilities if anyone seriously believes I deserve the nasty treatment I get because of my disabilities or am not disabled.

 

Obviously I should not be nasty either, and I am not going to use any disability as an excuse for it. I do regret many comments and questions I posted. But as long as anyone treats me like crap, he deserves what he is giving me - being treated like crap. If you don't want me to be mean to you, all it takes is not being mean to me. It is that easy and takes no time at all to fix.

 

All that said, I am ready to answer any questions people have about the problems in my life that almost everyone seems to believe warrant being treated like crap.

 

Well I don't think you are lying about being disabled. I believe you. I don't know exactly everything that you have or how it affects you or what it actually makes you do or think, but I do firmly believe you are disabled in some way.

 

As far as you saying you don't understand sarcasm, well I don't understand how someone doesn't understand sarcasm, that must be very difficult. Sarcasm in forums, especially sports forums of losing teams, is widespread and it will never go away. It's just how a lot of fans of losing teams cope, they need a way to find humor in their losing teams environment and sarcasm provides that.

 

I also don't understand why it makes you mad. Why does it make you mad?

 

Maybe there is a book on sarcasm that can help you to understand it better.

Quote:I wonder if anyone doubting her realizes what inhumane, insensitive jerks they are if they are wrong. The sad thing is I doubt they care.

 

You have no idea how many times I wished I could tell people they are evil bullies and should be banned from the forum. That is exactly what they are - insensitive jerks. It is inhumane to treat a disabled woman like crap. I usually don't report them because it is not just one nasty post, but a series of messages that appear innocent to most people that I find offensive. That is why they still have accounts despite being mean-hearted individuals.

Quote:You have no idea how many times I wished I could tell people they are evil bullies and should be banned from the forum. That is exactly what they are - insensitive jerks. It is inhumane to treat a disabled woman like crap. I usually don't report them because it is not just one nasty post, but a series of messages that appear innocent to most people that I find offensive. That is why they still have accounts despite being mean-hearted individuals.

 

The thing is, I know you may feel offended by some comments but sometimes there is no malicious intent meant by them. *Sometimes* it's just a clash of personalities or opinions.

Quote:Well I don't think you are lying about being disabled. I believe you. I don't know exactly everything that you have or how it affects you or what it actually makes you do or think, but I do firmly believe you are disabled in some way.

 

As far as you saying you don't understand sarcasm, well I don't understand how someone doesn't understand sarcasm, that must be very difficult. Sarcasm in forums, especially sports forums of losing teams, is widespread and it will never go away. It's just how a lot of fans of losing teams cope, they need a way to find humor in their losing teams environment and sarcasm provides that.

 

I also don't understand why it makes you mad. Why does it make you mad?

 

Maybe there is a book on sarcasm that can help you to understand it better.

 

Thank you for asking me about this. I know what sarcasm is. The problem is inability to recognize sarcasm when I see it. This is because AS causes people to only understand literal interpretations. People call the phenomenon seeing everything in black and white. I understand idioms (but can't figure out "knock on wood"). But when people are sarcastic, all I see is the dictionary definition of a lie.

 

Jokes are the same way. I got really mad when someone posted, "Myles Jack was the fifth pick." No, Jalen Ramsey was the fifth pick. As written, the poster obviously was lying. Everyone knows Ramsey was #5. I pointed that out, adding Jack was a second round pick. Another poster who did get the joke got mad at me for not subtracting 36 - 31 to figure out it means the fifth pick in the second round. The joke was what he did not say instead of what he did say. People with AS can't think about doing that, even though they know how to subtract 36 - 31. It is against their belief that what you say must be what you mean.

 

Does that help you walk a mile in my shoes?

Quote:The thing is, I know you may feel offended by some comments but sometimes there is no malicious intent meant by them. *Sometimes* it's just a clash of personalities or opinions.

 

I can deal with a personality clash if people follow the example of the Jungle's best poster. I know D6 is the most popular guy on this forum despite being a Lions fan, My question of t he month is, "Why don't other people follow his example?" Read some of my many discussions with him and see how well we get along when our opinions are different. Figure out by reading my discussions with him on a variety of topics how you can express a different opinion without being judged.

Quote:I can deal with a personality clash if people follow the example of the Jungle's best poster. I know D6 is the most popular guy on this forum despite being a Lions fan, My question of t he month is, "Why don't other people follow his example?" Read some of my many discussions with him and see how well we get along when our opinions are different. Figure out by reading my discussions with him on a variety of topics how you can express a different opinion without being judged.

 

Yep, I have seen that and I understand and appreciate it. I honestly do.

 

The only issue with that is that not everyone will have that same mindset. Everybody is different and that's what makes like so interesting and frustrating in equal measures.

D6 has the patience of a priest.

Here is another classic post from this person. You'd think someone so craving the approval of everyone on this board would show some humility in this instance, especially after having her inane and incorrect point so promptly and completely dismantled. I guess lack of humility is another symptom of Asperger's.


https://jungle.jaguars.com/index.php?/to.../?p=915072

Quote:Yep, I have seen that and I understand and appreciate it. I honestly do.

 

The only issue with that is that not everyone will have that same mindset. Everybody is different and that's what makes like so interesting and frustrating in equal measures.

 

Logic says, "Why not? Imitating D6 would spell the end to perceived bullying.

Quote:Logic says, "Why not? Imitating D6 would spell the end to perceived bullying.

Because not everyone has that thought process. We all have different views on things.. some subtle differences, some noticeable.

Quote:You have no idea how many times I wished I could tell people they are evil bullies and should be banned from the forum. That is exactly what they are - insensitive jerks. It is inhumane to treat a disabled woman like crap. I usually don't report them because it is not just one nasty post, but a series of messages that appear innocent to most people that I find offensive. That is why they still have accounts despite being mean-hearted individuals.

 

Like I said before, you don't bother me at all.   But I do have a question.   It's apparent from this thread that you are fully aware of what your situation is and how your disability affects the way you interpret things and react to them.   If that is true, why can't you make a little adjustment and every time you feel like someone is lying, or being mean to you, say to yourself, "No, this is probably my AS causing me to react this way.  It's not the other person's fault."   And then consider what you're about to say in light of that?  

 

I mean, you have spent 3 pages explaining your situation, so you must be fully aware of what it is and how it affects you.  Why can't you take that into consideration when you're using this message board?   Are you using your AS as an excuse to make no effort of your own to adjust? 

JDub if my banter over Ohio/Ohio State has ever upset you my humble apologies.  It was never meant to be malicious and in no way to be taken serious.  It was all just casual good natured smack talk.  

Quote:To be fair, she gets ganged up on on the regular. It's like chum in the water. The "grow up" comment should be dispersed among all the others that regularly, purposefully, try to antagonize her. Now that is cruel. 

I agree with this. Those who do it purposefully are ridiculous. 

 

The problem is many replies from her elicit negative reactions based on how she words things, insists fans do certain things etc. 

Quote:Thank you for proving my point.

 

I'd rather err on the side of care for my fellow man, but anonymity protects jerks. Lucky for you.

It really is that easy.

People shouldn't be mean on purpose, and there are too many here that do it regularly, and not just to JW.

 

With that said, you can't come here and tell others to be nice to you when you are just as mean to them if not worse to others.  Whether you mean it that way or not, it comes across that way and people are going to take it personally.  Nobody can put themselves in your shoes 100% of the day and at some point they are going to have a personal stance especially when called names.

 

It's interesting to me that you have such detailed posts at times, but certain things that are told to you over and over about your writing that could help with getting along with people are never changed.

Quote:Like I said before, you don't bother me at all. But I do have a question. It's apparent from this thread that you are fully aware of what your situation is and how your disability affects the way you interpret things and react to them. If that is true, why can't you make a little adjustment and every time you feel like someone is lying, or being mean to you, say to yourself, "No, this is probably my AS causing me to react this way. It's not the other person's fault." And then consider what you're about to say in light of that?


I mean, you have spent 3 pages explaining your situation, so you must be fully aware of what it is and how it affects you. Why can't you take that into consideration when you're using this message board? Are you using your AS as an excuse to make no effort of your own to adjust?

This is my issue too. If she is fully aware that she reacts a certain way to certain things, then she knows she's doing it.



JW, I think you've had almost 40 years of your family letting you act the way you do because it's easier than arguing with you. People on here aren't going to do that, nor should they have to. You need to make some concessions too. If joking and sarcasm upsets you, it's your responsibility to ignore it, it's not anyone else's responsibility to keep you from getting upset about it.

Something else I notice is that you liberally throw around the accusation that others are lying to you or lying in general.  That is not always the case.  Being mistaken about something doesn't mean someone is lying.  Lying requires intent to mislead.  Also, people don't tend to take kindly to being called a liar when they aren't, in their mind, telling lies or intending to mislead.

 

Along the same lines, I think having a better understanding about the distinction between fact and opinion would be helpful.  I've seen you tout your opinion as fact and then label someone who doesn't agree with your opinion a liar.  In those instances, the fault is clearly yours.  This isn't meant as an attack against you because I agree that at times you have a legitimate gripe with how people respond to you.  However, if you truly want to "fix" this issue it's going to take much more effort on your part.  

 

Also, I don't believe I've ever seen you post the words "my mistake, you are correct" when you are proven to be factually wrong about something.  You seem to either disappear or ignore the person's post when someone proves you wrong which happens frequently enough.  I'm sure it's possible I may have missed it, but I can't recall ever seeing such a post from you and it would go a long way toward repairing your image in some people's eyes I believe.

 

Lastly, please don't take this as an attack against you.  This is merely constructive criticism.  I appreciate most of your contributions to the board and I don't believe we've ever had any negative exchanges before and there's never been any malice in my responses to you.  I'm probably guilty of using sarcasm in some of my responses specifically directed at you and for that I apologize.  I won't do it again knowing now that it irritates you so much.  I really think adding a nicely worded request to your signature line asking people to please not use sarcasm in responses to you because of your disability would go a long way.  I also think if you are able to take to heart what I wrote here and try to apply it at least while on this message board would go a long way as well.  You won't ever be able to  control or change how other people interact here, you can only control your own actions to the point that your disability allows you to do so and that's where the greatest gains in improving your experience here will be found in my opinion.