Jacksonville Jaguars Fan Forums

Quote:I am sorry you had the experience. If you went through all the ceremonial aspects typically associated with mourning a death - a wake, visitation at a funeral home by friends and relatives, a funeral service, a graveside service and burial - then I apologize, because that's what I'm talking about. It's different for a lost fetus than it is for a human being who once breathed fresh air. I never said it was less traumatic or painful, but it is different.

 

I'm sorry I violated your right to not be offended even when posting within the rules
, but I've had close family members who have experienced multiple miscarriages with whom I've had this very discussion, upon which I base my opinion.

There is no such right. Perhaps you were within the rules, but your opinion is certainly outside the realm of human decency. I have pre-oped many women and their husbands who are having d/c after having a miscarriage. We always offer to release the remains to a funeral home. It is rarely taken cause quite frankly its more traumatic to do that for most people. This is a deeply private occurance and will always effect the parents much more as many people do not tell their relatives when they first get pregnant for fear of having a miscarriage. I never understood why anyone would wait till it happened to me. I was very excited when I found out my wife was pregnant and that we were going to have our first child.  You can imagine how terrible it was when she miscarried. It was worse than when my grandfather died. At least he had lived a full life and had done the things he wanted to do (including going to a Jags game with me).

 

I have great and many memories with my grandfather. There was nothing like that for my miscarriage. Having a funeral would have made the pain that much worse as it just dragged it on. There is no 'celebration of life' with a miscarriage, there is no fond memories to look back on, theres nothing but the hope and potential that had been there when you got pregnant getting crushed by the reality that what was going to be the joy of having a child is now gone. If you don't understand why most people don't have funerals for miscarriage, then you really don't understand that a funeral is about remembrance or 'celebrating life', and when there is only pain to remember its a terrible affair that most don't want to do. There is a point where you must have one, as in the example Americus gave, but most people who can avoid it, do. Theres nothing good down that road.

Quote:There is no such right. Perhaps you were within the rules, but your opinion is certainly outside the realm of human decency. I have pre-oped many women and their husbands who are having d/c after having a miscarriage. We always offer to release the remains to a funeral home. It is rarely taken cause quite frankly its more traumatic to do that for most people. This is a deeply private occurance and will always effect the parents much more as many people do not tell their relatives when they first get pregnant for fear of having a miscarriage. I never understood why anyone would wait till it happened to me. I was very excited when I found out my wife was pregnant and that we were going to have our first child.  You can imagine how terrible it was when she miscarried. It was worse than when my grandfather died. At least he had lived a full life and had done the things he wanted to do (including going to a Jags game with me).

 

I have great and many memories with my grandfather. There was nothing like that for my miscarriage. Having a funeral would have made the pain that much worse as it just dragged it on. There is no 'celebration of life' with a miscarriage, there is no fond memories to look back on, theres nothing but the hope and potential that had been there when you got pregnant getting crushed by the reality that what was going to be the joy of having a child is now gone. If you don't understand why most people don't have funerals for miscarriage, then you really don't understand that a funeral is about remembrance or 'celebrating life', and when there is only pain to remember its a terrible affair that most don't want to do. There is a point where you must have one, as in the example Americus gave, but most people who can avoid it, do. Theres nothing good down that road.

You are right, and I was wrong. My sincere apologies to you and anyone else offended by my remarks on this subject.

Quote:You are right, and I was wrong. My sincere apologies to you and anyone else offended by my remarks on this subject.

Accepted and you are more than forgiven. I am beginning to hate coming to this particular thread so I am gonna stop posting here after this.