(03-12-2022, 07:35 AM)Caldrac Wrote: He just had this unique way of keeping enough distance. He's not the kind of guy to say "Hey, love you boys" or "Hey, I am proud of you son". Just not in him. But he was stern when he needed to be. But he was also fair and unfair at times. A lot of that is cyclical I feel in most families. He behaved that way with us because I think his relationship with my Grandfather was pretty abusive and he lost him at just 21 when I was barely 2 years old. Couldn't imagine losing my Dad at that age. So, being more grown now. I think I get it.

I'm pretty sure my dad had no intention of having kids but we happened anyway. When he and my mom divorced we would see him on weekends but it seemed to be (on his part) to be because he felt he had to have us over, not necessarily because he wanted us there. His relationship with his dad was rocky and my grandfather was a hard [BLEEP]. He was raised by his mother and German grandmother who never spoke to each other. Not sure about his dad or any other details but his life was hard and he was not much easier on my dad and uncle. He turned into (and died) a bitter man when none of us lived up to his standards, whatever they were. 

Me and my dad have had a pretty good relationship as adults. As someone who never wanted kids I understand in hindsight his reluctance to be a parent to us back then. I thank God more often than not that my mom and step dad were solid people. They had their flaws but they took care of us. Neither of them were really vocal about feelings and such but I knew they loved us and were doing the best they could. 

It's amazing how much clearer we understand things with some age and life experience behind us and it continues the older you get. 

I remember watching that movie back some years ago. I may have to check it out again. DDL is a phenomenal actor.

---