This is an oldie.  Probably not very PC these days.

 

There were three guys in a boat.  They had four cigarettes and no matches.  How'd they light their cigarettes?

 

They threw one cigarette overboard and made the boat a cigarette lighter.

 

Ba-da-bum-bum.

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I'm condescending. That means I talk down to you. 
Check out the Jag's Forum Alternative: Duval Football Fans.

What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead divorce lawyer in the road?

 

 

 

Skid marks before the skunk.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Yesterday a girl said she recognised me from Vegetarian Club... but I'm pretty sure I've never met herbivore.

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80% of what I talk about is nonesense.. the other 25% is made up statistics...


 

Slept like a log last night...

 

...woke up in a fireplace.

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80% of what I talk about is nonesense.. the other 25% is made up statistics...


 

There was a fire at the circus yesterday.

 

It was in tents.

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What do you call a fly with no wings?

 

A walk.

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My wife, she's so fat. When she's standing at the bus stop the cops come around and say, "Alright guys, break it up."

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Why did Tim Tebow cross the road?

 

Because his dong was stuck in the chicken.

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Looking to troll? Don't bother, we supply our own.

 

 

Two ' Necks from the Burg go ice fishing for the first time. Bubba sees a snowmobile scooting across the lake and says, Hey Virgil, we should be doing that. What's that Bubba?

Trolling.

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Blakes Life Matters

My wife, she's so fat. When she's standing at the bus stop the cops come around and say, "Alright guys, break it up."

Got on a talking scale and scale says...hey...one at a time

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Blakes Life Matters

Yo mama is so fat her belt size is "Equator."

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

... when she goes to a restaurant and gets handed a menu she just replies "yes!"

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I'm trying to make myself more informed and less opinionated.

Stop saying whatever stupid thing you're talking about and pay attention to all the interesting things I have to say!

they take her photograph with a satellite.

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

When she dances, the band skips

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She bleeds gravy

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Dark humor is like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 

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You sister is so fat, when she hauls [BLEEP] it takes two trips!

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

She's so fat when she wears a Malcolm X shirt helicopters try to land on her.

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Looking to troll? Don't bother, we supply our own.

 

 

Hindu man say he can't comment on your mom because cows are sacred in his country.

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

What's blue, orange and rests at the bottom of a swimming pool?




A baby with burst armbands.

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