Toilet Paper Bandit Caught In Act, Arrested On Felony Theft Charge

A toilet paper heist was thwarted yesterday by an alert hotel security guard, according to Florida cops who arrested the alleged TP thief on a felony charge.


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/coro...LI1So48G3Y

---

Wants to join the "cereal box" dating service. I've dated enough flakes and nuts...all I want is the prize now.

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard. Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever. Find some leaves and boom! You’re a man!

---

I'm sure a good attorney will get the charges wiped clean.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

I'm sure a good attorney will get the charges wiped clean.

Or at least get a crack at it.

---

I'm sure a good attorney will get the charges wiped clean.

Or at least get a crack at it.

After reading the charges, he knew there was something smelly about the case!

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard.  Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever.  Find some leaves and boom!   You’re a man!

Personally I wouldn't just go using leaves, but I'm sure I'd figure something out. People lived for thousands of years without toilet paper, and I'm not sure why anyone would think we're in danger of running out of it right now, either.

---

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard.  Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever.  Find some leaves and boom!   You’re a man!

Personally I wouldn't just go using leaves, but I'm sure I'd figure something out. People lived for thousands of years without toilet paper, and I'm not sure why anyone would think we're in danger of running out of it right now, either.

Lol well I guess at my work it's at least a few thousand dumps a day ppl gotta look for their favorite wiping option elsewhere.

---

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard.  Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever.  Find some leaves and boom!   You’re a man!

Before you get some leaves, be sure to study up on what poison ivy looks like.

You'll thank me later.

---

I'm sure a good attorney will get the charges wiped clean.

That would surely stink.

---

There are 10 kinds of people in this world.  Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard.  Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever.  Find some leaves and boom!   You’re a man!

Personally I wouldn't just go using leaves, but I'm sure I'd figure something out. People lived for thousands of years without toilet paper, and I'm not sure why anyone would think we're in danger of running out of it right now, either.

I see what you’re saying.  Go to the nearest public fountain.  Not quite natural, but could work as good or better than the best bidet out there.

---

Oh dear gosh, if it gets that bad, dig a cat hole in your backyard.  Get in touch with your inner redneck/hunter/whatever.  Find some leaves and boom!   You’re a man!

Before you get some leaves, be sure to study up on what poison ivy looks like.

You'll thank me later.

You’re absolutely right.  And I am NOW quite sure when I spot it.  I have gotten it a few times at work and am highly allergic. I even have a few scars from the last time.  After that episode, I did so much research on it I may be considered an expert.  

I can spit off so many facts about that damn plant.  
Just one in particular that struck me as weird , the cashew( best tasting nut in the world, and you’re wrong if you disagree) is actually a relative to poison ivy. Natures way of saying “dis [BLEEP] is good, go away)   I guess that’s why they cost more. Harder to harvest. Just my guess.

---

I worked many years in an orchard with no bathroom access. 

Worst part of it was the horseflies 1000%.

---

I worked many years in an orchard with no bathroom access. 

Worst part of it was the horseflies 1000%.

You're supposed to put your pants back on when you finish.

---