Today is a dark day in the produce aisle, as Chad Zucchini returns home after being sliced from the roster by the Jacksonville Jaguars.

 

"I gave it my all," said Zucchini, "but in the end, I found myself caught in a pickle. There was no way they were cutting the guys they had, so I was just a side dish, if you get my drift."

 

"I'm so proud of my boy," said Ginger Zucchini, the punter's mother. "He could have gotten caught up in the anger of his chopping, but instead, he's already hashed out a new opportunity."

 

Rather than sit around getting baked, as so many college grads who don't break into their dream job do, Zucchini has accepted a position as a graduate assistant at Rice University.

 

"We're looking forward to bringing Zucchini and Rice together," said the university's athletic director. "We expect that Chad will help our punters learn how to squash the competition. He's already coming together with our coaching staff like a cool salad, and we feel like we poached one from the competition with Chad's hiring."

 

But Zucchini hasn't written off his pro chances yet.


"The Jags told me that I'm raw, but hey, at least they didn't tell me that I was fried yet. I'm still hoping for another chance in the NFL. My first try ended with egg on my face, but if that chance ever comes again, I'm making an omelet out of it."

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What in the world are you talking about?

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What in the world are you talking about?

 

Zucchini got cut.

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I'm condescending. That means I talk down to you.

+1 :thumbsup:

 

You left the first responder in a vegetative state. :woot:

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What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.







 

What in the world are you talking about?

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Poor JW... Her condition has totally SQUASHED any chance of her getting this thread...

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This topic goes right to the top with Gabbert's trade and TMD's sig bet.

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What in the world are you talking about?

Perfect

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This thread has epic possibilities.

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If something can corrupt you, you're corrupted already.
- Bob Marley


 

I heard he was messing around with Olive Oil anyway. Serves him right. Jerk.

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<FONT size=3>The secret to surfing is don't do anything.</FONT>

I was just vegging around this thread.  I just wanted to get in before it became a thread as long as a cornstock.

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s
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There was too much Anger in the locker room for him to make the cut.  No matter how you slice it, he just wasn't part of the team's recipe for success.  

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I was wrong about Trent Baalke. 

At the risk of sounding corny, this thread is just plum awesome!

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What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.







 

Well whaddaya know, a pun fest! I wasn't trying to cook one of those up or anything...

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Dude... you've had enough to drink.  Chug some water and get ready for tomorrow when you have to be in "real life" and go back to your "real job".

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world.  Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Just so we're clear....I'm counting this a vegetable serving for today.

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Wonderful.

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Poor JW... Her condition has totally SQUASHED any chance of her getting this thread...

 

I see what you did there LOL. And in fact I did eat squash after reading the post.

 

The confusing part is calling a player Zucchini. That word has never been used as a nickname for any of our players. If you want me to know who got cut, give me the name on his back.

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There was too much Anger in the locker room for him to make the cut.  No matter how you slice it, he just wasn't part of the team's recipe for success.  

 

I always called him Banger because I hate his last name. He was a good punter, so the nickname fit too - except for one week when we went to London, of course.

 

Well whaddaya know, a pun fest! I wasn't trying to cook one of those up or anything...

 

You can't spell punter without pun.

 

A play on words is humor I can understand purrfectly. My dad's best jokes were like that. But I am not warming up to the idea of calling somebody Chad Zucchini.

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