That's not blaming, that's stating a fact. Had she said "okay, let's go home" the guy wouldn't have jumped. At least not then and there. This wasn't a planned suicide, this was a "snapped" moment.

No matter how you say it or don't say it...it boils down to you saying her actions caused him to jump.

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

No matter how you say it or don't say it...it boils down to you saying her actions caused him to jump.

 

At that particular moment, they did. The stresser was her actions. That doesn't mean that I'm blaming her.

 

Or should we just assume that he started seeing tiny monkeys with razor blades and he instinctively jumped back and fell over the balcony edge?


Maybe he saw an ex! Ohhhh this is getting spicy now!

 

Maybe his ex is a tiny monkey with razor blades. Now it's just weird.


Maybe he was delirious from the amount of walking and carrying required and thought he was on the second story.

---

At that particular moment, they did. The stresser was her actions. That doesn't mean that I'm blaming her.

 

Or should we just assume that he started seeing tiny monkeys with razor blades and he instinctively jumped back and fell over the balcony edge?

Maybe he saw an ex! Ohhhh this is getting spicy now!

 

Maybe his ex is a tiny monkey with razor blades. Now it's just weird.

Maybe he was delirious from the amount of walking and carrying required and thought he was on the second story.

Just because you keep repeating that you don't blame her doesn't mean you aren't.

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

Just because you keep repeating that you don't blame her doesn't mean you aren't.

 

Why the [BLEEP] are you so insistent on claiming that I'm blaming her. Newsflash! There is a difference between being the stresser and being at fault/to blame.

 

You seem to be stuck in this ridiculous mentality that she either is completely separate from his actions or she is completely to blame for his actions with absolutely no middle ground. Guess what?! Things aren't "black-and-white" absolutes.

---

---

60% of the time, It works Everytime...



 

No, if anything would have been better, YOU'd have dropped the bags and just left the store.  And spare me the "yeah, because I'm sane and he's got a screw loose" argument.  You haven't walked a mall mile in his shoes.  Neither one of us have any idea what drove the man to do it, but I have sympathy for a guy that obviously has an inconsiderate partner.

 

I also have sympathy for the girl, because she's gonna have to live with this the rest of her life.  But maybe she could, y'know, learn something as she moves on?  Or perhaps everyone should just tell her she's OK, it was ALLLLLL him.

 

You're the one guessing what was going on in his head.  You said " It's the fact that absolutely ANYTHING would have been better than having to hang around the person he was shopping with, and this trip was the last straw." 

 

You're making the assumption right there that he didn't like hanging out with the woman.  If that was the case, he likely would not have spent 5 hours with her shopping in the first place.  If there were outside reasons for him to stick with her, then that's something likely beyond her control in the first place.  

 

Should she learn from the situation?  Absolutely.  But we can't really say what that lesson is because we don't know what was going through her mind either.  


Ultimately it IS all on him.  She didn't help the situation at all.  But he's the one who chose to jump.  It's like if you go to a bar with some friends.  You all get drunk, but you don't take your friends car keys away from him before you leave.  He then chooses to drive drunk.  It's not your fault that your friend drove drunk. You could have taken his keys.  Or you could have waited for him.  There's things you could have done differently.  But it's not your fault.   You'll probably blame yourself, and maybe this girl will blame herself.  We don't know.  Maybe she's just a horrible person, and continued shopping and bought those shoes right after he jumped.  Or maybe she's normally a considerate person who goes overboard at the holiday's.  We really don't know.  In fact we've heard nothing from her at all.  

---

I was wrong about Trent Baalke. 

Well, I'm off to bed. It's a much more pleasant scenario than listening to someone tell me that I'm wrong about what I meant by the words that I typed.


Try not to let my erroneous placing of "blame" bug you too much, bchbunnie4.

---

Why the [BAD WORD REMOVED] are you so insistent on claiming that I'm blaming her. Newsflash! There is a difference between being the stresser and being at fault/to blame.

 

You seem to be stuck in this ridiculous mentality that she either is completely separate from his actions or she is completely to blame for his actions with absolutely no middle ground. Guess what?! Things aren't "black-and-white" absolutes.

I'm not the one that's stuck...you seem to think that the guy had no control over his actions. He didn't decide to jump...she drove him to it. He didn't have issues...she's the one with the issues for being a selfish [BLEEP]. He didn't know any better....she should have known not to be the stresser....




What ever the reasons for doing so...the guy made the decision to jump on his own.

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

Well, I'm off to bed. It's a much more pleasant scenario than listening to someone tell me that I'm wrong about what I meant by the words that I typed.

Try not to let my erroneous placing of "blame" bug you too much, bchbunnie4.

I'm not the one that seems a little bugged!! :woot:





Sweet dreams!! :kiss:

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

You're the one guessing what was going on in his head.  You said " It's the fact that absolutely ANYTHING would have been better than having to hang around the person he was shopping with, and this trip was the last straw." 

 

You're making the assumption right there that he didn't like hanging out with the woman.  If that was the case, he likely would not have spent 5 hours with her shopping in the first place.  If there were outside reasons for him to stick with her, then that's something likely beyond her control in the first place.  

 

Should she learn from the situation?  Absolutely.  But we can't really say what that lesson is because we don't know what was going through her mind either.  


Ultimately it IS all on him.  She didn't help the situation at all.  But he's the one who chose to jump.  It's like if you go to a bar with some friends.  You all get drunk, but you don't take your friends car keys away from him before you leave.  He then chooses to drive drunk.  It's not your fault that your friend drove drunk. You could have taken his keys.  Or you could have waited for him.  There's things you could have done differently.  But it's not your fault.   You'll probably blame yourself, and maybe this girl will blame herself.  We don't know.  Maybe she's just a horrible person, and continued shopping and bought those shoes right after he jumped.  Or maybe she's normally a considerate person who goes overboard at the holiday's.  We really don't know.  In fact we've heard nothing from her at all.  

 

I actually agree with most of what you've stated except the highlighted.

 

Like Unravel is stating, it's not black and white.  Until the facts come out, it will remain my suspicion that the woman maltreated her partner, completely ignored any warning signs, and helped him over the edge.  And if she did, she deserves some of the blame.

 

Further updates as conditions warrant.

---

Mall should be properly equipped with suicide prevention centers.  Perhaps a large room with drinks and a bunch of stripper so the dudes can go their while their gf shops.

---

This reminds me of the Farside cartoon that showed a family of lemmings in a car and the father lemming is angrily telling the child lemmings in the back seat "Knock it off! Don't make me drive this car off a cliff!"

---

Its a mask that is being worn. Its a mask because no attention is warrented. Attention is not what's being seeked. Continue on to happiness.. Yup.. happiness..

---

This reminds me of the Farside cartoon that showed a family of lemmings in a car and the father lemming is angrily telling the child lemmings in the back seat "Knock it off! Don't make me drive this car off a cliff!"

I love The Far Side!!!

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

You asked why he was at the mall. He was probably dragged there by his "dear" to be a pack mule and nothing more. Since you're so willing to speculate that he has issues, I'd speculate that she was the issues. Only a [BAD WORD REMOVED] would refuse to go home after her boyfriend had already spent five hours carrying her bags around.

 

I've been in the situation before....I thought it was smarter to take the bags I had to the car so I wouldn't have to lug them around for long periods of time...but then again, thats me, and I'm smart. 

---

Yet you act as though it's entirely his choice and wasn't influenced by her at all. She's a [BAD WORD REMOVED] and perhaps it was just the last straw, or perhaps she was like that all the time with him. Either way, five hours is more than any rational person would expect a guy to carry shoes around for. It's asinine and self-centered.

 

lol, all women are self centered. Is this news to you?   

---

So SHE's the victim.

 

Gotcha.

 

Where did BB4 say that?

---

lol, all women are self centered. Is this news to you?

I don't know why you're still single!!

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

I don't know why you're still single!!

I know why..




Stinky cheese..

---

I don't know why you're still single!!

 

How do you know I'm still single? :whistling: 

 

And, just because I know some inherent facts about women such as how self centered they are, doesn't mean I don't accept them and love other things about them :yes: We all have faults. Well, most of us. 

---