(12-17-2019, 03:05 PM)Mikey Wrote: my topical contribution:

approaching the holidays with the mentality of "our family is buying gifts for you, so here's some things you can get for us" disgusts me. That's not how 'gift' works.

I've become much more attuned to anxiety causing my hostility over the past year. I've noticed panic attacks where I feel trapped into a compulsion from someone else's norms without means of extracting myself from the mandate. Sometimes this is attending a crowded event. Sometimes it's something stupid like going along with a family Halloween costume when you really don't feel comfortable being dressed up. Sometimes it's being judged over whether your gift is timely, or comparable to that given to you in return. I've learned to opt out rather than forcing myself into the equivalent of a pit of serpents. I still can't help but feel the judgment for not going along with the flow.

I apologize if this is not trivial. It is therapeutic, though. Sorry for distracting from the airing of wife-related grievances.

Don’t worry about being a distraction.  I too have fought anxiety at one point in my life.  About 5 years ago.  I don’t wish that upon my worst enemy. Luckily when my wife gave birth to my daughter it seemed to almost completely go away.      And being hostile, [BLEEP] man,  preaching to the choir.   So don’t even worry about distracting us from complaining about our wives.  If the anxiety is bad, seek help.  If you want you can pm me.  I know there are different types.  Idk how relative mine was to yours.  But would be happy to offer suggestions/support.

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