We had to travel one and a half hours to one of my in-laws house. My wife drove and in her vehicle. Intermittent rain throughout. I swear, this chick checked so many boxes on my list.
1. Following too closely
2. Not using wipers at high enough speed to see
3. Speeding while in slick conditions
4. Giving me a coronary while doing 1-3 above

5. We didn’t eat breakfast, she stops at the local mom and pop grocery’s. Asks me what I wanted to “tie me over”. As a man that’s eaten plenty gas station food, I say,, “whatever, a slice of pizza sausage biscuit, whatever”
She reminds me we’re in po-dunk central. Okay. Pack of crackers or a bag of chips. Doesn’t matter. She asks If I want various stuff I never eat.

Pack of crackers or some chips will do.

After 20+ years of knowing this woman, she comes back with a freaking honey bun and lance PB crackers! Seriously? Have you ever witnessed me eat a freaking honey bun? And you ought to know I prefer the cheese by now!


Remind me again, why did I marry you?

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