Hallmark Channel.  Wife currently has 10 movies DVR’d with “Christmas” in the title and a couple more with “Noel” and other holiday words in it.

Oh, don't even get me started.  They all end the same, too!

Even worse, my wife has a ton of shows/movies recorded on the Hallmark Murder and Mysteries channel.

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Hallmark I can kinda deal with..

Lifetime scares the [BLEEP] outta me.. I'm always thinkin my wife is studying ways to kill me.

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Hallmark I can kinda deal with..

Lifetime scares the [BLEEP] outta me.. I'm always thinkin my wife is studying ways to kill me.

Lifetime doesn’t bother me too much.  I find it not only interesting, but also gives me ideas I haven’t quite thought of yet, different techniques and enlightens me on things to avoid.

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Hallmark Channel.  Wife currently has 10 movies DVR’d with “Christmas” in the title and a couple more with “Noel” and other holiday words in it.

Oh, don't even get me started.  They all end the same, too!

Even worse, my wife has a ton of shows/movies recorded on the Hallmark Murder and Mysteries channel.

They do all end the same way.  I will say, that Lacey Chabert is curiously hot.  I’d hit it.  But I’ve seen her so much now, I’m not sure I even want it.

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No Hallmark channel in this house. Ugh. Too cutesy for me.

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Hallmark I can kinda deal with..

Lifetime scares the [BLEEP] outta me.. I'm always thinkin my wife is studying ways to kill me.

Lifetime doesn’t bother me too much.  I find it not only interesting, but also gives me ideas I haven’t quite thought of yet, different techniques and enlightens me on things to avoid.

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Oh, don't even get me started.  They all end the same, too!

Even worse, my wife has a ton of shows/movies recorded on the Hallmark Murder and Mysteries channel.

They do all end the same way.  I will say, that Lacey Chabert is curiously hot.  I’d hit it.  But I’ve seen her so much now, I’m not sure I even want it.

Lacey makes it bearable...sometimes.

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Lifetime doesn’t bother me too much.  I find it not only interesting, but also gives me ideas I haven’t quite thought of yet, different techniques and enlightens me on things to avoid.

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They do all end the same way.  I will say, that Lacey Chabert is curiously hot.  I’d hit it.  But I’ve seen her so much now, I’m not sure I even want it.

Lacey makes it bearable...sometimes.

I'd bare her.

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

Lacey makes it bearable...sometimes.

I'd bare her.

I’m weird.  Questions get brought up in my head when people admit things.   You say you would.  Nothing wrong with that.  But no reference to who is watching Hallmark.  Surely it is your wife, right?  Please, let that be the answer.

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Wth is with publix egg prices 18 ct large 9.19.

Thats insane, i mean i buy them at wallyworld now but seriously wth.

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I'd bare her.

I’m weird.  Questions get brought up in my head when people admit things.   You say you would.  Nothing wrong with that.  But no reference to who is watching Hallmark.  Surely it is your wife, right?  Please, let that be the answer.

Maxim used to be a thing, don't know if it still is or not, but her spread always peaked my interest IYKWIMAITYD.

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Wth is with publix egg prices 18 ct large 9.19.

Thats insane,  i mean i buy them at wallyworld now but seriously wth.

Yes, Publix costs more and pretty much always has, but people still go there in spite of that fact. It's always funny to me that people file complaints with the State about it when they could just...go somewhere else?

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“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

I’m weird.  Questions get brought up in my head when people admit things.   You say you would.  Nothing wrong with that.  But no reference to who is watching Hallmark.  Surely it is your wife, right?  Please, let that be the answer.

Maxim used to be a thing, don't know if it still is or not, but her spread always peaked my interest IYKWIMAITYD.

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I remember that magazine.  She’s hot with clothes.  Had to google these Maxim photos.  Turns out, you’re absolutely correct.  She’s even hotter without them. 

Reminds of of that old “saying/joke” whatever…

…when your gf/wife asks “Does this dress/shirt/pants/ look good on me?”  And the reply is “yeah, but I think it’ll look better on the floor”.

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Welp, I was going to attempt to make the sexy time with the Mrs.  Problem occurred when I was showing her different magazines for my cc.  Idk where it came from (my [BLEEP], is where it came from, precisely ) but I uncontrollably had one of them trumpet farts.  You know, one of them multi toned butt biscuits that goes from a low to higher pitched note/tone. . Guess I’m not getting any tonight. M not a chic but I can see how that’s a buzz killer.

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Welp, I was going to attempt to make the sexy time with the Mrs.  Problem occurred when I was showing her different magazines for my cc.  Idk where it came from (my [BLEEP], is where it came from, precisely ) but I uncontrollably had one of them trumpet farts.  You know, one of them multi toned butt biscuits that goes from a low to higher pitched note/tone. . Guess I’m not getting any tonight. M not a chic but I can see how that’s a buzz killer.

Did you tell her that you wiped and took a shower?

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Welp, I was going to attempt to make the sexy time with the Mrs.  Problem occurred when I was showing her different magazines for my cc.  Idk where it came from (my [BLEEP], is where it came from, precisely ) but I uncontrollably had one of them trumpet farts.  You know, one of them multi toned butt biscuits that goes from a low to higher pitched note/tone. . Guess I’m not getting any tonight. M not a chic but I can see how that’s a buzz killer.

Did you tell her that you wiped and took a shower?

I’d hate to lie to her.

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Did you tell her that you wiped and took a shower?

I’d hate to lie to her

Stink no lie

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I’d hate to lie to her

Stink no lie

Not gonna lie, that fart even wiped the thought and mood even from myself.

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Stink no lie

Not gonna lie, that fart even wiped the thought and mood even from myself.

Never fear, W.D.M.D is here..

You need Taco Bell.. Will help.. err.. evacuate..

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Not gonna lie, that fart even wiped the thought and mood even from myself.

Never fear, W.D.M.D is here..

You need Taco Bell.. Will help.. err.. evacuate..

Yeah, the stench created was one in which I can only put into words as “high pitched”.  If smells can have an auditory companion, high pitched is definitely the words to use.  It was a good one. Or a bad one in my particular situation.

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Never fear, W.D.M.D is here..

You need Taco Bell.. Will help.. err.. evacuate..

Yeah, the stench created was one in which I can only put into words as “high pitched”.  If smells can have an auditory companion, high pitched is definitely the words to use.  It was a good one. Or a bad one in my particular situation.

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Welp, I was going to attempt to make the sexy time with the Mrs.  Problem occurred when I was showing her different magazines for my cc.  Idk where it came from (my [BLEEP], is where it came from, precisely ) but I uncontrollably had one of them trumpet farts.  You know, one of them multi toned butt biscuits that goes from a low to higher pitched note/tone. . Guess I’m not getting any tonight. M not a chic but I can see how that’s a buzz killer.

You know she's a keeper when you let one of those go and she either compliments it or high fives you. If she matches your effort, you know you've won the life partner lotto.

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Hey Jags, I decided to help ya out if you like. I got an idea while sitting at the corner of Blanding and Wells in OP earlier..

These people who stand on the corner begging for money (who look completely capable of working), I'm gonna start handing out job applications instead of money.

If you want, upload one of your applications and I'll print them out and gladly distribute them.

I'll print them out on money green paper..

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