Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Give the Jaguars just one more year bud. Stay strong!
edit- stay not stray
I remember your incidence of 5 years ago and was impressed with your battle up to now. I have no doubt you will succumb to nothing but old age, which is years off. You have the will to fight, that means everything. Prayers for you.
Regards..................the Chiefjag
Hang in there Dakota A.K.A. Paul. We all love you, and care about you. I'm disappointed that I've never been able to meet you (or anyone else on this board for that matter), but you're a great guy; and your words of wisdom have helped me in a lot of ways. I still remember when I posted a thread about regret a few years ago, and you really lifted my spirits up during a time when I was going through tremendous stress in my personal life. Just through that thread alone.
You're one of the funniest, nicest, intelligent, and most respectful users on here. I know that you're going through a lot right now with the cancer, but DO NOT LET IT BEAT YOU DOWN AND TRY AND CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. No offense to any other mods or admins here; but out of all them, you've shown the most professionalism and leadership without a doubt. I really liked a story that you told once about how you posted a politically themed thread (back when it was still banned), and some users ended up getting warnings because of it. Since some people ended up getting warnings, you decided to take a warning yourself and not cry about it. I personally respect and highly admire that.
I know that you're going to beat this cancer, like the Jags are going to beat every other team on their way to the superbowl.
God Bless.
Thanks again everyone. The thoughts and prayers mean more to me than you could know. The fact that so many of them have come from those whom I have had a falling out with in some form or fashion says a lot. I have had a lot of time to reflect on the past years of my life, and like I said before, losing friendships through my own doing does weigh on me, even if it's with people I have never met in person. Many of you I have met. Many of you I have not. That doesn't really change the rules of friendship, and I was guilty of breaking those rules. It's something I take ownership of, and live with though. The fact that so many of you are pulling for me is humbling.
I am healing up at home now. I still have a lot of medical appointments, and am being poked, prodded, and bothered way more than I like. I am on the tail end of "hell week" right now. For those who have never had a major surgery or high end pain killers, the ride is full of hills and valleys. I am "hopefully" almost done with my detox and withdrawal from the pain killers. I was on the hardest stuff that they could throw at me, and last Sunday, I took my last pain pill, following my discharge from the hospital. Monday came around, and it was time to pay the piper. I understand completely how athletes and people in general become hooked so easily on pain meds because the withdrawal is pure hell for some. I am one of those people. My best description of it is the flu on steroids, with a good healthy dose of schizophrenia mixed in. Yes, it's that bad. Muscle cramps, body aches, the constant desire to kill anyone within a mile of you. Tuesday I saw my surgeons, and after killing each of them in my mind a dozen times or so, I had a talk about what was happening. They offered me a prescription of a lesser pain killer to "step down" and make things better, but I decided not to do that as it would just draw things out longer. Most of the bad symptoms have dissipated since then except for a new one, insomnia. I literally don't sleep anymore. I may have slept 4 hours in the last 5 days. I'm losing my mind over lack of sleep, but my body won't do it. I simply cannot fall asleep anymore, and that really sucks. Monday, I am going to get a prescription for a sleep aid, and hope like hell that it works. I also need to find out if the weight loss I have had is normal. I have lost 35 pounds since I was admitted to the hospital. Not sure if that's normal or healthy. I still have 225 lbs left, so I'm safe from withering away, but I tried very hard dieting for several weeks and could not shed more than a few pounds, so the fact that I just shed 35 with doing essentially nothing is something I just don't understand. Enough about silly stuff though.
I have my full PET Bone scan this upcoming Thursday and will follow up with my doctors at Cancer Specialists of North Florida soon after. They are worried about other lesions that turned up on an MRI. That test will dictate any future treatments. I am also trying to schedule another surgery ASAP. I have had a minor shoulder problem, and need a cleanup of my rotator -cuff. Since I'm already healing up from this other mess, I figure I may as well get the surgery on my shoulder and be done with that in a 2 for 1 healing up deal.
On a personal level, I feel very different. I can't explain that, but I just do. I am really trying to take a new look at life and maybe put more of my time and energy into what's really important, and less time and energy into what's not. I think regardless of what happens to me health wise, I'll be better off for that.
The next 2 weeks will likely determine where I am medically, and what the future holds. I spend a lot of time preparing myself for that. Either way this goes, I need to be ready to face it, and hope to do at 100%, mentally, physically, and spiritually. No matter how it all shakes out, I want to try to go through it with some of the dignity I seemed to have lost over the past couple years. It's funny how that can happen when we're not really looking, but it does, and yes, it is a source of great regret.
That's about all I can add right now. I don't know much more about where I'm at medically, but I will update as I can.
Again, thanks to each and every one of you for your prayers and support. It means more to me than you could ever know.
Glad to hear you are on the mend!
35 ibs? Maybe you just had a really fluffy kidney! :Woot:
I'm hear for you, Dakota. If you need to talk, you can always inbox me.
God bless
Quote:Thanks again everyone. The thoughts and prayers mean more to me than you could know. The fact that so many of them have come from those whom I have had a falling out with in some form or fashion says a lot. I have had a lot of time to reflect on the past years of my life, and like I said before, losing friendships through my own doing does weigh on me, even if it's with people I have never met in person. Many of you I have met. Many of you I have not. That doesn't really change the rules of friendship, and I was guilty of breaking those rules. It's something I take ownership of, and live with though. The fact that so many of you are pulling for me is humbling.
I am healing up at home now. I still have a lot of medical appointments, and am being poked, prodded, and bothered way more than I like. I am on the tail end of "hell week" right now. For those who have never had a major surgery or high end pain killers, the ride is full of hills and valleys. I am "hopefully" almost done with my detox and withdrawal from the pain killers. I was on the hardest stuff that they could throw at me, and last Sunday, I took my last pain pill, following my discharge from the hospital. Monday came around, and it was time to pay the piper. I understand completely how athletes and people in general become hooked so easily on pain meds because the withdrawal is pure hell for some. I am one of those people. My best description of it is the flu on steroids, with a good healthy dose of schizophrenia mixed in. Yes, it's that bad. Muscle cramps, body aches, the constant desire to kill anyone within a mile of you. Tuesday I saw my surgeons, and after killing each of them in my mind a dozen times or so, I had a talk about what was happening. They offered me a prescription of a lesser pain killer to "step down" and make things better, but I decided not to do that as it would just draw things out longer. Most of the bad symptoms have dissipated since then except for a new one, insomnia. I literally don't sleep anymore. I may have slept 4 hours in the last 5 days. I'm losing my mind over lack of sleep, but my body won't do it. I simply cannot fall asleep anymore, and that really sucks. Monday, I am going to get a prescription for a sleep aid, and hope like hell that it works. I also need to find out if the weight loss I have had is normal. I have lost 35 pounds since I was admitted to the hospital. Not sure if that's normal or healthy. I still have 225 lbs left, so I'm safe from withering away, but I tried very hard dieting for several weeks and could not shed more than a few pounds, so the fact that I just shed 35 with doing essentially nothing is something I just don't understand. Enough about silly stuff though.
I have my full PET Bone scan this upcoming Thursday and will follow up with my doctors at Cancer Specialists of North Florida soon after. They are worried about other lesions that turned up on an MRI. That test will dictate any future treatments. I am also trying to schedule another surgery ASAP. I have had a minor shoulder problem, and need a cleanup of my rotator -cuff. Since I'm already healing up from this other mess, I figure I may as well get the surgery on my shoulder and be done with that in a 2 for 1 healing up deal.
On a personal level, I feel very different. I can't explain that, but I just do. I am really trying to take a new look at life and maybe put more of my time and energy into what's really important, and less time and energy into what's not. I think regardless of what happens to me health wise, I'll be better off for that.
The next 2 weeks will likely determine where I am medically, and what the future holds. I spend a lot of time preparing myself for that. Either way this goes, I need to be ready to face it, and hope to do at 100%, mentally, physically, and spiritually. No matter how it all shakes out, I want to try to go through it with some of the dignity I seemed to have lost over the past couple years. It's funny how that can happen when we're not really looking, but it does, and yes, it is a source of great regret.
That's about all I can add right now. I don't know much more about where I'm at medically, but I will update as I can.
Again, thanks to each and every one of you for your prayers and support. It means more to me than you could ever know.
All I can say is well said.
Glad you still got some fight in ya, Dakota
keep at it - and we'll be praying for good news to come from those scans Thursday.
bump
come on, guys, why is this off of the first page!!?!?
This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BLEEP].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
Quote:This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BAD WORD REMOVED].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
Damn...that really sucks Paul!!
Quote:This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BAD WORD REMOVED].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
Don't give up the fight yet Dakota. Prayer really can change things.
Quote:This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BAD WORD REMOVED].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
Prayers goin' up for you, man. Very sad to hear this.
Stay strong dude. We're all behind ya duder!!
Quote:This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BAD WORD REMOVED].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
Paul, I'm very sorry about what you are going through. I hope and pray any pain and discomfort you have is as minimal as possible and that a treatment plan that's recommended to you leads to a full recovery.
I found some encouraging information regard bone cancer. The 5 year survival rates are between 70 % and 80 %. Of course each individual's situation is different. But the overall bone cancer survival rates that are mentioned on the following website are better than I previously thought:
http://www.cancer.org/cancer/bonecancer/...statistics
Quote:Stay strong dude. We're all behind ya duder!!
^this^
Quote:This will probably be my last post about all of this. It may be my last post here altogether.
I saw my orthopedic surgeon for something unrelated (a problem I've had with my shoulder for the past few months) today. After some x-rays and some testing, they found that I don't have a torn rotator cuff or anything, but another tumor in my bone of my shoulder. I am back to square one again. New CAT scan, MRI, and surgery ordered. They already assume that this is a form of bone cancer, and if that turns out to be the case, I'm [BAD WORD REMOVED].
I really don't know what else to say.
It's been real.......
I don't know how Id' react if I was hit with the constant barrage of obstacles you've had thrown in front of you, but I do know that you have a lot to keep fighting for. As disheartening as the latest news may be, you still have a lot of people who care about you who are praying for a positive outcome to all of this.
You've been dealt a crappy hand, but you're still on the right side of the grass, and you're still at a point where there are options. Don't lose the faith, Paul. It's just another speed bump.
I have a good friend whose wife was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer about 18 months ago. She's a couple of years older than us, but through the entire ordeal, I've never seen someone given what amounts to a terminal diagnosis face it with as much grace as she has. She hasn't allowed the cancer to dictate how she's living her life. When I spoke to her husband about it, I asked him how they were managing despite the fact that her situation is pretty dire. He said that they relied heavily on their faith, and accepted the fact that it's out of their hands. They've sought out the necessary treatments, and she's had a lot of good moments, and quite a few setbacks. She's still not out of the woods, but she's in a much better place than she was even a year ago when they were talking about funeral arrangements. As I type this, she's on a jet flying home from from a trip she took to the Holy Land, Egypt, Turkey, and other parts in the Middle East. She spent almost a month over there with friends touring sites, diving, and just enjoying life. To anyone meeting her for the first time, they'd never know she's living with a terminal diagnosis, and even her doctors have been amazed by the way she's responded to treatment. She'll never be cancer free, but she is at a point where it is managable.
The reason I tell you this is because her cancer metastasized to her liver, lungs, brain and bones. She has seen the tumors shrink to the point where they were able to operate on her colon. The spots on her lung and brain are now gone. Same with her liver. She still has the disease, and there are concerns about abnormal blood tests where her levels haven't been good, but through all of this, she's just rolled with it. I'm sure when she's alone in her thoughts, there has to be some doubt. That's only human. But, she somehow finds the strength to carry on with a son in college and two daughters in high school. She's been an inspiration to many of us with her attitude and her approach. It makes our problems seem pretty paltry in comparison, and she's not complaining.
Keep the faith and lean on those who truly care about you and your well being. Having a sense of humor and the right mindset isn't a cure, but it sure does help.
so sorry to hear that, Dakota
hold your head up as best as can be, man
Praying for peace Dakota, in this life or the next, I pray you find peace.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15