Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

You’re fortunate. They make me lie on the conveyor belt outside to get aboard.

“Hey! Watch it, buddy! That’s not a handle.”

---

Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

C'mon Mr. Snowbird!  Don't you go back and forth enough to earn that Silver Status with Delta by now?

---

Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

At least you get called by your name. I just get called peasant.

---

Oh yeah, this reminds me of a trivial annoyance.

When I'm called to board the flight early in Sky Priority and I get a first class upgrade at the gate - but they serve my champagne in a plastic cup. Ugh. Plastic?!   I don't care if it's a regional jet on a 2 hour flight!  I want real glass back in first class!

Also - fighting my way to the gate through all of those peasants who have gathered around in my way to stare at their "zone 3" boarding passes in agony, wondering if they'll have to gate check their carry-on.  Get out of my way, you Plebian riff-raff!  You're not boarding for 15 more minutes so just sit down.

---

"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

I always loved the Carlin line about getting on a plane. 

[BLEEP] that, I'm getting in the plane! Let Evel Knievel get on the damn plane. Seems to be much less of a draft in here.

---

I like being the last to board.

I usually order my last pint around the time NYC is fighting the plebs.

---

Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

You’re fortunate. They make me lie on the conveyor belt outside to get aboard.

“Hey! Watch it, buddy! That’s not a handle.”

All this time I thought those were golf clubs.

---

Season Ticket holder since 2004.

 

        

Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

At least you get called by your name. I just get called peasant.

Well, you do live subservient to a Royal Sovereign, so they ain't far off.

---

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

---

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

---

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

I read an interesting interview with him once. At one time he had a meth habit so bad that he stayed awake for 11 days and even his dealers wouldn’t sell to him. As a matter of fact, one of them had an intervention and sat with him until he went to sleep. He knows all about the importance of sleep.

---

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

So does Flo from those Progressive commercials. God, those are annoying!

---

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

I read an interesting interview with him once. At one time he had a meth habit so bad that he stayed awake for 11 days and even his dealers wouldn’t sell to him. As a matter of fact, one of them had an intervention and sat with him until he went to sleep. He knows all about the importance of sleep.

He looks like a meth head

---

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

So does Flo from those Progressive commercials. God, those are annoying!

Sounds like "Progressive JDub".

---

The "My Pillow" guy. He needs a punch in the face..

I read an interesting interview with him once. At one time he had a meth habit so bad that he stayed awake for 11 days and even his dealers wouldn’t sell to him. As a matter of fact, one of them had an intervention and sat with him until he went to sleep. He knows all about the importance of sleep.

That's classic. I heard that when Papa John was in college he woke up once in an alley and was covered in pizza. Police didn't know if it was a fraternity prank or OJ but it allegedly started him off on his career.

---

Season Ticket holder since 2004.

 

        

Delta:
"Anybody needing extra time getting down the jetway may board"
"Our Premium cabin passengers may board"
"We'd like to welcome our Sky Priority passengers aboard"
"Our Platinum, Gold, and Silver level passengers may board now. Welcome aboard"
"OK, PF* you're last. Get on the plane"

Could be worse.  Just when you thought there was nothing less than "basic" or "economy" class,  American Airlines has combined the pair to bring you a new, "Basic Economy" class.  Your personal item must fit under the seat because you're not allowed to use the overhead compartments.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Anybody ever do this?

You're sitting there watching TV, and your wife comes in and starts talking, and you're looking at her, nodding your head, acting like you're paying attention to what she's saying, but in reality, you're listening to the TV and not hearing a word she's saying.

And then she asks you a question, and you have to mentally rewind what she was saying, and try to offer some lame response that doesn't give away the fact that you weren't actually listening to her.

---

Anybody ever do this?

You're sitting there watching TV, and your wife comes in and starts talking, and you're looking at her, nodding your head, acting like you're paying attention to what she's saying, but in reality, you're listening to the TV and not hearing a word she's saying.

And then she asks you a question, and you have to mentally rewind what she was saying, and try to offer some lame response that doesn't give away the fact that you weren't actually listening to her.

We know you’re not really listening...that’s why we ask you the follow up question!

---

What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

I like to make it obvious that I'm not listening.. After she stops talking, 5 minutes later I'll throw in a "Did you say something? "

---

Anybody ever do this?  

You're sitting there watching TV, and your wife comes in and starts talking, and you're looking at her, nodding your head, acting like you're paying attention to what she's saying, but in reality, you're listening to the TV and not hearing a word she's saying.  

And then she asks you a question, and you have to mentally rewind what she was saying, and try to offer some lame response that doesn't give away the fact that you weren't actually listening to her.

And do they ask their questions while a commercial is on? Noooo. They wait until the most crucial moment:

...and the killer is... "Do you remember the girl I was telling you about who I work with and her brother is in the Army and he yada, yada, yada.."

---

Anybody ever do this?  

You're sitting there watching TV, and your wife comes in and starts talking, and you're looking at her, nodding your head, acting like you're paying attention to what she's saying, but in reality, you're listening to the TV and not hearing a word she's saying.  

And then she asks you a question, and you have to mentally rewind what she was saying, and try to offer some lame response that doesn't give away the fact that you weren't actually listening to her.

And do they ask their questions while a commercial is on? Noooo. They wait until the most crucial moment:

...and the killer is... "Do you remember the girl I was telling you about who I work with and her brother is in the Army and he yada, yada, yada.."

Dames...amirite?

---

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato