I've got a routine that I try to follow and I find if I stick to it I usually play pretty well.

Of course that is entirely dependant on the beer factor.

I try to stay away from alcohol when playing golf. My game goes straight downhill, and it already resides in a valley.

Meh, I was half joking.  I usually don't drink when I play.  UNLESS I have a REALLY bad, unrecoverable, front nine.

Then all bets are off.

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Answer the door in your underwear.

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

That was your first mistake.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world.  Those who understand binary and those who don't.

Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Why did you do that???  

Are you still growing the grapes or did you get out of that?

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Answer the door in your underwear.

Why bother with putting something on?

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

I like to play games with them.  One time a dude came by and I said “mmmm your the escort? Come on in.  He awkwardly starts to sell me a roof, I interrupted and said, not interested, but come on in.   Lmao.  He couldn’t leave fast enough.

After many times pissing my wife off with how rude I was to solicitors, we eventually screened in the porch area and locked the screen door.  Best $ I’ve ever spent.

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Did you give up the farming life? Do we have a reverse Green Acres going on here?

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What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is agoin' on here???

I wouldn't mind a bottle of wine.. Haven't had one in a while..

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Did you give up the farming life? Do we have a reverse Green Acres going on here?

I sure hope not.

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Still farming all the same stuff, my house was actually a separate piece of land that's a citrus ranch now. 

Almost every morning I wake up to the sound of cars and I think I have invaders before I realize I'm in a city now 

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

Did you give up the farming life? Do we have a reverse Green Acres going on here?

Kinda! I didn't know I had to call and have Utilities hooked up until the water stopped working lol. Also, picking up doggy poo is a thing now.

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Still farming all the same stuff, my house was actually a separate piece of land that's a citrus ranch now. 

Almost every morning I wake up to the sound of cars and I think I have invaders before I realize I'm in a city now 

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Did you give up the farming life? Do we have a reverse Green Acres going on here?

Kinda! I didn't know I had to call and have Utilities hooked up until the water stopped working lol. Also, picking up doggy poo is a thing now.

Yeah dude.   you love your dog, we do too, please be kind and pick up their poo!  

Have you seen that sign yet?  Did it make you want to take a deuce on their lawn?

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Still farming all the same stuff, my house was actually a separate piece of land that's a citrus ranch now. 

Almost every morning I wake up to the sound of cars and I think I have invaders before I realize I'm in a city now 

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Did you give up the farming life? Do we have a reverse Green Acres going on here?

Kinda! I didn't know I had to call and have Utilities hooked up until the water stopped working lol. Also, picking up doggy poo is a thing now.

Ohhh, I get it now. You've been henpecked into the city life.

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Not before tucking a dollar of Monopoly money into the elastic band of my tighty whities.

Monopoly money, not the real thing?  Apparently she wasn't fooled by that pair of rolled up socks.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Still farming all the same stuff, my house was actually a separate piece of land that's a citrus ranch now. 

Almost every morning I wake up to the sound of cars and I think I have invaders before I realize I'm in a city now 

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Kinda! I didn't know I had to call and have Utilities hooked up until the water stopped working lol. Also, picking up doggy poo is a thing now.

Ohhh, I get it now. You've been henpecked into the city life.

Haha no sir, the young lady on my right is a paisa through and through. 

The ADT guy stopped by for the 5th time tonight though. Still not interested guy!

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

answer the door with a claw hammer in hand. Or a very hungry German Shepherd.

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Moved from 40 years on a ranch to the middle of the city, and man am I learning some lessons on how to deal with door to door salespeople.

answer the door with a claw hammer in hand. Or a very hungry German Shepherd.

I recommend a straight claw, not curved.  Better flesh penetration!  

A large dog door with the German Shepard's picture on it helps too......... just rattle it a little as if you're unlatching it.

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When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

You could just answer the door in your tighty whities and an inflatable baseball ball. Oh, and talk like Beavis.

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You could just answer the door in your tighty whities and an inflatable baseball ball. Oh, and talk like Beavis.

You really need a food-stained white t-shirt, a half-smoked cigarette hanging out of your mouth, and about a day and a half razor stubble to complete the picture.

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I've settled on the I'm a renter defense.

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