When you miss that one tiny egg shell piece and then find it in your omelette. Ruins the rest of the meal.

---

When you miss that one tiny egg shell piece and then find it in your omelette.  Ruins the rest of the meal.

So you don’t like your omelette crunchy?

---

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much. Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

---

When you miss that one tiny egg shell piece and then find it in your omelette.  Ruins the rest of the meal.

new phone, who dis?

welcome back, friend.

---

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much.  Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

SAWFT

We usually buy eggs at wally world, but in a pinch paid about double for some name brand chicken seeds recently. Dang near every one of these pricey ova end up breaking the yolk when cracked open. Nothing more frustrating than trying to fry an egg and breaking the dunk zone.

I have zero problem with the discount eggs.

---

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much.  Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

Guess ya didn't date much in the '70s, hmmm?

---

“An empty vessel makes the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest babblers.”. - Plato

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much.  Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

Guess ya didn't date much in the '70s, hmmm?

Not at all, lol.  I was born in 82.  Anytime I had a girl that didn’t shave there… call me an [BLEEP], I asked them to shave.

---

---

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much.  Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

SAWFT

I just whipped out the ole measuring stick, my beard is 7 inches long.  Haven’t cut my head hair in a while (year) either.  (I’m totally rocking the hobo look). Occasionally, if I don’t trim around my mouth, I’ll take a bite of something and one will enter my mouth. No bueno.  Between that and my head apparently sheds (something Ive never noticed) it’s tempting to cut/shave it all.  But I just can’t until I accomplish a few [BLEEP] you goals.

---

Call me crazy, but the shell doesn’t bother me too much.  Now, insert a hair of any kind, whether it gets in my mouth or I see it in the food, brings me on the verge of vomiting.

Guess ya didn't date much in the '70s, hmmm?

He dated, just never got a second date.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Guess ya didn't date much in the '70s, hmmm?

He dated, just never got a second date.

If she puts out, you only need the one.  Duh!

---

People who use the word 'simp'..

They just sound [BLEEP].

---

He dated, just never got a second date.

If she puts out, you only need the one.  Duh!

You should try expanding your playbook.  The ladies appreciate men who aren't afraid to dive headfirst into the endzone.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

If she puts out, you only need the one.  Duh!

You should try expanding your playbook.  The ladies appreciate men who aren't afraid to dive headfirst into the endzone.

I’ve got no issue doing that as long as it doesn’t look like this

---

That was supposed to be a gif and funnier. Whatever.

---

We bought a new Maytag washer and dryer a couple of years ago with all the computerized bells and whistles that will cost a fortune to repair in the future. Maytag went into a partnership with Affresh to hawk their washing machine cleaner. The Affresh logo is even plastered on the control panel. All of that is fine and good, however, to ensure the user doesn’t ignore the Affresh brand, Maytag has programmed a hard routine into the washing machine which forces the user to run a “Cleaning cycle with Affresh”. There is no warning or advance notice of this cleaning cycle. Once the washer is loaded and start selected, the display informs that a cleaning cycle must be run and the machine must be empty. It will do nothing else until the cleaning cycle is run, so all of the laundry has to be removed and the cycle run before it can be used again.

What’s worse, the only purpose of the cleaning cycle is to ensure every single drop of hot water is used to complete it over the course of an hour.

---

We bought a new Maytag washer and dryer a couple of years ago with all the computerized bells and whistles that will cost a fortune to repair in the future. Maytag went into a partnership with Affresh to hawk their washing machine cleaner. The Affresh logo is even plastered on the control panel. All of that is fine and good, however, to ensure the user doesn’t ignore the Affresh brand, Maytag has programmed a hard routine into the washing machine which forces the user to run a “Cleaning cycle with Affresh”. There is no warning or advance notice of this cleaning cycle. Once the washer is loaded and start selected, the display informs that a cleaning cycle must be run and the machine must be empty. It will do nothing else until the cleaning cycle is run, so all of the laundry has to be removed and the cycle run before it can be used again.

What’s worse, the only purpose of the cleaning cycle is to ensure every single drop of hot water is used to complete it over the course of an hour.

SMRT.

They shoulda made that notification pop up at the conclusion of a wash cycle, rather than at the beginning.

I think ours will remind, but it won't rebel if we choose to wait until all the loads are cleaned. I dunno, wifey treats laundry like it's some secret science. I stay outta that mess so long as she doesn't screw around with my dishwasher racks.

---

I'm staying away from bells and whistles when it comes to appliances. Maybe it's the rebel in me who hates being told what to do (what to say, what to buy, what to eat, etc.,) but I don't want my fridge telling me it's time to buy eggs. Or my washing machine forcing a cleaning cycle.

Nope.

Sadly our range is getting super long in the tooth (30+ years old) as is our over/under washer & dryer and water heater (also 30+ years old.) Scheisse. So is our Trane heat pump. The range and washer/dryer will likely have to be replaced in the next couple of years and I'm not looking forward to buying replacements. Hopefully there are still analog appliances when that happens.

---

I'm staying away from bells and whistles when it comes to appliances. Maybe it's the rebel in me who hates being told what to do (what to say, what to buy, what to eat, etc.,) but I don't want my fridge telling me it's time to buy eggs. Or my washing machine forcing a cleaning cycle.

Nope.

Sadly our range is getting super long in the tooth (30+ years old) as is our over/under washer & dryer and water heater (also 30+ years old.) Scheisse. So is our Trane heat pump. The range and washer/dryer will likely have to be replaced in the next couple of years and I'm not looking forward to buying replacements. Hopefully there are still analog appliances when that happens.

Wayfair has analog dryers for sale

---

Best Buy customer "service".  Two calls dropped/disconnected while reps were "helping" me.  No local number option, everything goes through the call center.  On the third call, I told the rep I wanted to be connected with a live person at the physical location.  I was told someone from the store would call me back in "about two hours".

All because I paid for an item online and named my wife as the person picking it up and they can't understand that.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Here’s a fridge for you when your current one goes.  I don’t think this one requires gigabit internet.  You may have to make frequent trips to the frozen water store.  So by default, I guess it does have a built in ice maker.  You may need the optional ice pick for that function.  

---

I'm staying away from bells and whistles when it comes to appliances. Maybe it's the rebel in me who hates being told what to do (what to say, what to buy, what to eat, etc.,) but I don't want my fridge telling me it's time to buy eggs. Or my washing machine forcing a cleaning cycle.

Nope.

Sadly our range is getting super long in the tooth (30+ years old) as is our over/under washer & dryer and water heater (also 30+ years old.) Scheisse. So is our Trane heat pump. The range and washer/dryer will likely have to be replaced in the next couple of years and I'm not looking forward to buying replacements. Hopefully there are still analog appliances when that happens.

Wayfair has analog dryers for sale

I found a washer for you too.

---

When you get into the endzone, act like you've been there before.

Wayfair has analog dryers for sale

I found a washer for you too.

[BLEEP]!   That is fancy.  I was expecting a Walmart washboard.   Do you know if that is stackable with the dryer above?  Bluetooth? Can I use Alexa with it?

Yeah, i know, I know…only if your wife’s name is Alexa.

---