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What do you get when your canary flies into a fan?
Shredded tweet.
What did 0 say to 8?
"Nice belt."
Horse: walks into bar
Bartender: "Why the long face?"
A dog walks into a barn and says to a couple of horses, 'Where can I get a drink of water?'
One horse turns to the other and says, 'Hey...check it out...a talkin' dog.'
"The genie is hard of hearing, do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
Quote:Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
No you di'int
Quote:Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
What was the last thing to go through her mind?
The windshield.
Quote:Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
Quote:What was the last thing to go through her mind?
The windshield.
I feel ashamed for +1'ing these two...
Quote:What was the last thing to go through her mind?
The windshield.
Yes that's top notch.
I once knew a girl from Nantucket
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One hell of a punchline, right?!
Quote:Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt
Quote:No you di'int
Quote:What was the last thing to go through her mind?
The windshield.
What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth & Prince Charles..
Ok so I've removed the punchline... just incase it offends... Not sure I want another warning marking :kiss:
Quote:I once knew a girl from Nantucket
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One hell of a punchline, right?!
The Aristocrats!
Quote:The Aristocrats!
I'm still recovering from when I first read it 25 years ago. It was rumored to be Johnny Carson's favorite joke.
What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.
Quote:I'm still recovering from when I first read it 25 years ago. It was rumored to be Johnny Carson's favorite joke.
He must have heard some pretty sucky jokes if that one was his favorite!!
What's the difference between the playboy mansion and a 3 ring circus?
The circus is filled with an array of cunning stunts.
(Another better said out loud)
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal there is a dog. It's a Shitzhu.
My grandad was 65 when he started running a mile each day to stay fit. He's 70 now and we have no idea where he's at.
When i die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad, unlike the other passengers.
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